I have been curious why certain things I could do, like certain marketing moves, but I am not doing them.
Actually, there are quite a few things that I know I can do, and I don’t do them.
What’s there is fear. Mortal fear.
I am sure you recognize yourself.
Recognize that mortal fear. In ordinary language we call this procrastination. So if you are a procrastinator, if you think you are a procrastinator, listen up!
In this article, I’ll attempt to see more about what’s going on, so maybe we end up with a distinction… a distinction that hands the power back to us, so the fear will let us do the things we see we could do, so we can become all we can be.
I’ll use my usual tools: looking and asking questions… and use muscle test to get insights and guidance deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole. I will be using myself as the test subject.
The first question is: is it my dominant belief that is the source of the fear? No… although it has a little part in it. How do I know? Because the ‘no’ is about 90% no.
When you muscle test as often as I do, you develop a feel for how much ‘yes’ is in a ‘no’ and vice versa.
So I am going to follow that yes…
The second question is:
Is it my dominant belief’s therefore that is the source of the fear?
The answer is 100% yes. Ugh.
My dominant belief is that I am on borrowed time. That I wasn’t wanted, and therefore I should be dead. It is strengthened by another idea/belief that if you stand out you’ll get killed.
The therefore I decided, as a kid, is therefore I should either do them a favor and kill myself, or I should be invisible.
Now, you want to notice, that I am not doing either. I am not killing myself, and I am not invisible.
You may notice that you are not following your own therefore, consistently, either.
So what do I actually do?
I have always had a strong tendency to fashion my life after literature, mostly towards the dramatic, and the detrimental. Drama Queen? Tragic mythical hero? lol…
I recognize what I do to myself from a Thoman Mann novel The Chosen or the English translation ‘The Holy Sinner’
The ending is so significant I want to share.
The hero, after too many wrong turns, goes into exile on an uninhabited island, where he shrinks until he becomes the size of a hedgehog.
Then, when Rome and the Vatican, declares him a saint (I don’t remember why) they send an expedition to find him. they find him and he redeemed himself.
You see that I am, on one hand, shrinking my physical being, but on the other hand I am waiting for recognition, for the pardon, for the permission to live.
If it weren’t tragic, I would be laughing… Now I am both crying and laughing. Oh well… F… it.
The doom I am avoiding is being found and killed. I’d rather do it myself.
You see the dichotomy of the two ‘anchors’,
- the dominant belief’s therefore, and
- the anchor to doom.
When they pull against each other, oftentimes the result is ‘no action’.
So, what can you do when you find yourself in this predicament?
Here is a distinction for you! Oscillating structure.
An oscillating structure is an inner ambivalence: yes/no to the same thing.
Live/die, survive/perish, succeed/fail, worthy/worthless, desire/fear… etc. millions of ways and combinations the oscillating structure will keep you in an illusion that you are stuck.
Stuck is always an illusion. You are never stuck.
All you can do is all you can do, but all you can do is enough… and you can always do something…
Christy Brown (from the movie My Left Foot). He could write novels with his left foot, paint…
Christy Brown was born with cerebral palsy, a congenital copper deficiency disease, according to Dr. Joel Wallach… his mother didn’t have enough copper in her diet before and during pregnancy
Copper is essential to all living organisms
and is a universally important cofactor for many hundreds of metalloenzynes. Copper deficiency is widespread and appears in many forms . Copper is required in many physiological functions (i.e.- RNA, DNA, lysil oxidase cofactor, melanin Production (hair and skin pigment), electron transfer of oxygen subcellular respiration, tensile strength of elastic fibers in blood vessels, skin, vertebral discs, etc.).
Neonatal enzootic ataxia (sway back, lamkruis) was recognized as a clinical entity in 1937 as a copper deficiency in pregnant sheep. Copper supplements prevented the syndrome which was characterized by demyelination of the cerebellum and spinal cord. Cavitation or gelatinous lesions of the cerebral white matter, chromatolysis, nerve cell death and myelin aplasia (failure to form). These are all changes identical with human cerebral palsy.
Famous people affected or dying of an obvious copper deficiency include Albert Einstein (ruptured cerebral aneurysms), Paavo Aerola (ruptured cerebral aneurysms), Conway Twitty (ruptured abdominal aorta aneurysm), George and Barbara Bush (thyroid disease, white hair) – four to six of every 100 Americans autopsied have died of a ruptured aneurysm, an additional 40 Percent have aneurysms that had not yet ruptured.
So stuck is an illusion. That you can’t do anything is an illusion… covering up that you are locked into an oscillating structure.
Like I have been.
So what is the ‘solution’ to this situation?
Oscillating structure is like a rocking chair… but you can put wheels on anything, including a rocking chair.
Instead of dealing with the stuff inside the structure, the thing to do is to create a vector, a force, that points to something outside, and take the whole rocking chair in that direction.
Not location, but direction. Instead of a destination, you choose direction. Not goal… because it is just the source of more stuckedness, illusion or not illusion.
So what is the direction I could take MY rocking chair into?
You see, a life where the amazing insights, the knowledge is not communicated, is a life that is wasted.
The purpose of my life is to go to the edge, and come back sharing what I learned.
But unless I do the things I am not doing (marketing), no sharing is happening, or not much…
For many of you, you can identify with my rocking chair and my direction.
And for most of you: you need to become worth a damn. That is your directions, whatever your rocking chair is.
Because a life lived not being worth a damn is not worth living.
PS: I got more doing this process, writing this article, than I hoped getting.
Before I sat down to write, I was SURE what I was going to see. But I had the integrity to go step by tiny step, and it turned out that what I was so sure of, was not true.
So in addition to getting to the truth, I also got an insight why and how people teach so many b.s. things, and how come 99% of all quotes, and all internet memes are touting things that are not true.
As I was looking for pictures for this article, I saw that people talk about fear in a way that will allow fear to always succeed. They actually encourage fear to always succeed.
You learn from those memes? No wonder you are not amounting to much!
PS: So as a result of this insight I pulled the anchor to doom… from my chest
What does that really mean? It means that I become responsible for my choice: circling the drain, meaning avoiding the doom, or choosing the doom.
Choice from the power of responsibility is a really interesting move. You see choice only when there is nothing else that is competing for that right to choose. No wanting to. No needing to, no having to, no should. You are the a person who intends to choose. You are left with: I can take it or leave it…
Death? No problem. Good life? No problem.
And you choose. You choose life… Not because you had to, or because it better, or you are afraid to die. Not because. You caused your choice, not because of anything.
And then you can swim away from the drain and actually START living.
I have done this a couple of time in my life, and it is always dramatic. But as long as that pesky anchor is there, your choice is just lip service.
So I pulled the anchor. And said: if I get killed, then so be it. I am OK with that.
Get your Anchor to doom pulled