How Finding Out What’s Wrong With You Is The Ticket To Peace of Mind, Grace and Ease and Power

who are you that you are? I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. Not tears of gratitude, not tears of joy. Just tears.

Most people teach from their mind. Most people teach from the Tree of Knowledge.

Tree of Knowledge, simply, means speaking from what you already know, what you store in your memory.

A “real” teacher is different, and very very rare.

A real teacher is always a student. And as student learn with all the people they teach, at the same time. Not what you would think: they are also taking course, they also have teachers. That is not what I mean. That doesn’t make them real teachers.

A real teacher, like me, learn as they speak.

How is that possible? It’s possible because I do not speak from my mind. I speak from the nothing (space) behind my mind. From the space of mystery, from the space that cannot be known.

That is why I am so nervous, anxious, stiff as a board before I approach a new topic. I have no idea what I am going to say.

This was, exactly, the case yesterday when I lead my first Brilliance at Will class. Looking back, I was exactly as agitated, nervous, stressed out as I used to be, every time, I was going to do the Landmark Forum. I did that course 20 times, but it was always from the mystery: what am I going to find out about myself now?

who are you that you are? Someone said somewhere that man is the greatest mystery to himself, or something like that. Oh yeah…

Anything that can be revealed and turned into no-mystery isn’t true mystery. Mystery novels aren’t, and the “mysteries” of nature aren’t… if it can be revealed it isn’t mystery.

But, as you will see, man IS a mystery. Every which way you look, you can only see a little bit of it, and the whole depth of the mystery is never revealed.

Of course the “mind people” (what they call the ‘little brain people’ in the movie ‘Defending your life’ lol) always seem to find the end of mystery, and their lives is the lives of a dullard, the life of meaninglessness, making it and surviving.

I teach people to get out of their mind and into the mystery.

It is not politically correct to tell your teacher “no” to what they teach, so none of my students say it straight to my face, but a good percentage of them out and out refuse to do that…

I am a likable teacher because I care about my students. So they do stuff to please me, but not really for themselves.

In my new courses I only accept people that desperately want to get out of the dullard mode (99% of the population, even women! gasp!) Being an empath I can tell.

So, why do I have tears in my eyes?

In yesterday’s workshop we needed to find our “default” name for ourselves, the one that we so desperately try to hide from others. Much like you try to hide that you are there… you pull a blanket over your head only for your feet to hang out… you are not hiding at all.

In all of self-development, this is the most important step: find out who you are for yourself.

In the past 27 years I have gone through all kinds of default names, but none of them were a perfect fit.

The name answers the question: why people don’t like you, why you aren’t where you are supposed to be in life, why why why…

I went through phases. First I was (I am afraid to make commitments) a failure, then I was a throwaway (like a disposable one-use fork or knife), then stupid, then arrogant, I went through a lot of names.

My last one, until today was: I am not wanted.

But because a real teacher is also a student of the course they teach, I kept on pondering. That is the hallmark of a human being, pondering to find answers to their own why questions. (Even my dreams were pondering…)

And I had an insight that may just change how and what I teach from now on. I saw that my actions are consistent with being disgusting. Of course the original name was in Hungarian, and the word is not as horrible in English as it is in Hungarian, but if you tell me the word in Hungarian I’ll cry. Like Pavlov’s dog… ‘gusztustalan’ is the Hungarian word.

Then I looked at some of my students and found that they have a version of disgusting as their default name.

I looked at my life and my parents, and found the next insight: their default name was also disgusting.


I once had a student whose default name was worthless. He once told me that I was a worthless piece of s-h-i-t.

And if you listen, really listen, I am often disgusted with people. I also dish out what I am most afraid that I am.

I am weeping. For me, for my students, for joy that I took another step into the depth of mystery.

Because once you nail your default name, you have tools to suddenly become well-liked, successful, enjoy life, enjoy peace of mind, grace, ease, and power.

I teach three major moves on my free workshops Mondays and Thursdays, ending on October 1.

You can come to more than one: every time you come you’ll get a piece that didn’t quite make sense the time before.

You can pick a date and then sign up at

There is one warning though: my workshops, like a workshop in a room where we are face to face, demand of you to be there, pay attention, and participate.

If I notice that you are there to lurk, observe, or you are maybe multi-tasking, I’ll dismiss you. Not exceptions.

I run a tight ship. Just interested? Don’t bother. You need to be committed to transformation, to a life of grace, ease and power, to make it with me.

Now, if this is you, head over to sign up. You only have these few sessions available. Once my 8-week course begins, I will not have time to offer free workshops. So go and find out how you can turn your life around and finally enjoy what has eluded you, grace, ease and power… of was it peace of mind?

PS: Your default name will express itself in how you live. If your default name is ‘disgusting’ you will have disgusting habits, an environment that is dirty or disorganized, and relationships where the other is always disgusted with you. Appalled is also a good word, that is how others feel about you. You can see it on people’s faces… and you will make sure that you keep it that way. After all, that’s who you are (for yourself) and if you changed you would not recognize yourself. The mind does not tolerate that. Do you see now why I want to get you out of your mind?

PPS: if you google “who are you that you are” this way, together with the quotation marks, you will find that question asked and asked again in literature… amazing.

PPPS: this default name persona is unconscious. You could be anything or anyone if you just knew who you are as a default being… and then design, with as much meticulous attention a new being who is deserving, loved, famous, successful, peaceful, or whatever you thing would be cool. Will it be easy? I don’t know. I haven’t done it. I just had the insight today… But I can tell you of a subtle shift: I just made myself a real omelet with goat cheese… and I am sitting down to eat it. I haven’t eaten breakfast sitting, at home, maybe ever… hm. maybe this is a sign.

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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