How I used the ‘how to boil a frog’ method to grow myself

immersion frogsI have been attempting to learn higher level marketing than I have been doing for a few years now.

Marketing is hard… and I don’t have a natural aptitude for it.

Every time I bought a program I ‘had to’ abandon it, because … well, I didn’t know why.

This is what I saw :

35e41c6If I can and am willing to be my authentic Self, if I can bring that Self to the new topic, learn my way, without making excuses, and without getting caught up in the shoulds, and have-to’s of the stuff I am attempting to learn, then I can grow WITH IT, digest it, make it my own.

These words should tell you what I wasn’t doing before, and maybe what you are not doing yourself.

Here is an example: I started this expensive, and revolutionary program, and have nothing to show for it.

First I was trying to cram it down my throat.
Then I was fretting that I was a slow-poke.
Then I was fretting that I didn’t know what to do and how to do it.

medium_tag-showerThen finally, at some point, I decided to immerse myself… like in a shower. Allowed it to wash over me, and not worry about what parts of me got wet or not.

Of course the ‘world’ wants you to do it their way… be a busy bee, understand it right away, do your homework, and compete… Be as good or better than the best.

Coaches, in spite of what they say, prefer that you do it their way… and fail… so you need them more and again. The ‘continuity’ principle… car manufacturers do it, appliance manufacturers do it, and, of course, coaches do it. They prefer that you don’t have the foundation to do what they tell you to do. They bring their own BOMBASTIC success stories to bait you… but you have no business to attempt to follow them in their footsteps: you are decades behind… unless you aren’t.

As I am writing this, my whole body is tensing up, especially the shoulders.

Can’t be a good way to learn, good way to grow if it causes this much tension, can it?

So instead of doing what I have always done, instead of doing what maybe you do, I just listened to what there was to listen to, and trusted that just like a language, it will stick to me. I allowed it to wash over me. Like the shower.

Not like the surf, mind you. The surf, when it washes over you, it feels like it is going to drown you… No. Like the shower… gently.

I don’t have to become like those other marketers who do what they do… compete, brag about tactics, the big numbers their launch raked in. I can be me, with my values, with my preferences, with what is important to me… and don’t have to make them wrong either. I can just be me… and still use the teaching… and build some foundation to be able to really use it.

The two programs I have ever done that gave me back my money’s worth were programs that were more interested in building the foundation bigger, larger, wider, so I can build bigger things on it.

But it is really up to my attitude… 99% of the participants in the same programs didn’t do what I did: they tried to reach above their ‘pay grade’ and of course their results were dismal. Or they tried to get the whole thing, focused on the results, and failed that way. Or did nothing…

The immersion way of learning and growing has been working.

I am reasonably well, I am sleeping decently again, I am not experiencing muscle cramps… or difficulty to breathe… or that I am going to die…

Comfort_Shower_01_474Hell yeah, my whole genome, all my genes fight against my attempts to bring new programs into my life in a ‘have-to’ way. FIGHTING. Tooth and nail.

I don’t like fighting… I don’t even like to argue. I don’t like disagreements. I like smooth, gradual, silky. Easing into things. Immersion.

I am afraid of violence, and most new stuff attempts to do violence on me… In Landmark Education they said: wedge it into your life… even writing the words hurts, and my whole body is going into self-defense. It’s the word ‘wedge’… bringing up memories I’d rather not bring up.

I don’t know about you, but I think my way is more natural.

When I look back at students who have quit, even though they were doing well, I can identify the same issues. They thought that they had to do things as fast as I spoke, that they had to compete with other students, that they had to be smart, or match some criteria I didn’t have. Or often lie about the fact that they are experiencing inner resistance

Only when resistance is looked at without making it wrong is that you can even consider releasing it…

Immersion works best for resistant people… Which means: all people… You think you are not resistant? Look again.

You probably have a lot of having to’s, needing to’s, wanting to’s and should’s… you are a slave to them…

I don’t have them for myself, and I don’t have them for you.

I am experiencing this slowly cooked frog ‘immersion’ in other areas of life as well.

I am eating in a way that is an evolutionary stable strategy: I eat stuff I can buy in the local supermarket. I eat in a way that I like it, and my body likes it. I spend very little time preparing food. My body says: yaay…

I have stopped having swollen legs and feet. I have stopped suffering from the heat. My legs don’t hurt. I can bend, cut my own toe nails, fall asleep fast, and have energy to do some chores around the house: pick up stuff from the floor, do my laundry, empty the dishwasher, bring the plants in from the deck…

Effortless. The result of an evolutionary stable strategy

My weight is sloughing off at a rate of half a pound to a pound a week. I weigh myself Tuesday mornings.

I have found the cause and eliminated it for the almost certain stomach cancer… no more danger. It was easy and effortless… surprisingly.

I read books 2-3 hours a day, every day, and I am not tired. I have energy and yet I fall asleep easily.

I rest around noon… for about an hour, with my kindle.

zdepski_boiledfrogI made no quick and drastic changes. My body wasn’t revolting on me at all.

But when I look, the changes I made are dramatic on the long term… we cooked this frog masterfully.

Same is with learning new things.

Just slowly make it a habit of doing 30-60 minutes a day some kind of immersion.

Observation, listening, observation, listening.

It can take you all the way to heaven…

This is a four years old article. We have started the Validation challenge. It is an immersion program. You are the frog. You are asked to do a few actions a day, no big deal. If you do them, you’ll have the results. If you don’t immerse yourself: you won’t.

Easy peasy.

If you immerse yourself in a competing ‘immersion thing’… like move in with your girl friend, or argue with me, or some other competing big project… you’ll forget the challenge… and no more immersion… You can’t really immerse yourself in two different things.

You’ll instinctively want to escape the immersion and quickly find something to do that comes to you more naturally, more in sync with your soul correction.

Some bombastic new idea will come your way.

You’ll be offered a business deal you can’t refuse. You fall in love. You get sick. Fall or get the virus. They are all designed by your dark side to slip out of the immersion.

The only thing you won’t want to do is what I asked you to do: to simply look at someone and see something to acknowledge… and with simple words, say what you saw.

  • I like your smile.
  • You have nice teeth
  • Your dog is lovely.

It doesn’t have to be big… But it has to be what you saw. No lying.

Today is the last day that you can apply to be in the challenge. It cost $45. You don’t pay for the challenge, you pay for the capacity activation

The rest I do for free…


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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

One thought on “How I used the ‘how to boil a frog’ method to grow myself”

  1. This is a very timely article for me, Sophie. This principle applies to so many things: university education, learning music, even just reading…

    I’ve just started noticing the have-to’s galore. I bet it’s got a lot to do with unconditional love (or lack of it).

    And you’re accurate in your diagnosis: I see that every time I took a break from working with you, the thinking was: ‘I have to match your criteria…’ Tension.

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