I wanted it more than anything. I was miserable, lonely, depressed, and it didn’t look life was going to change on its own. My vibration, at the time, was 35. Barely enough energy to be breathing and moving. A walking dead.
I have pictures of me from that time, all smiles. Agrimony smiles, all pretense, to cover up the misery.
At the end of the evening I went home to my immigration hostel, that is where recent immigrants to Israel are housed. I shared a room with a stark mad Hungarian woman. She was angry and some kind of crazy: would walk all night with a knife in her hand. For protection or to kill me, I never found out. She returned to Hungary.
I was so happy that night, so hopeful, that I wanted to share my joy with everyone who was willing to listen.
The first person I ran into, Dave, was immediately recognized what I signed up for. “Oh, you are sooo stupid!” he said. “You paid 380 dollars for that? I’ll do it for you for 120 bucks. Lock you in a room, take your watch, and yell at you… You’ll get what you want!” he said.
I believed him. Next day I called the number on the receipt and canceled my registration. I will get what I want and save 260 dollars.
But Dave wasn’t serious. I lost the receipt and never quite catch what the name of that course was, so I spent the next two and a half years in deep anguish and depression.
One day the wife of my car mechanic invited me to something, and I went. It was a beautiful summer evening. The moment I entered the room I knew it was the same people… all smiles. The person to speak was American, so I understood everything. Halfway through the presentation I went and registered into a course that started the next day, in Haifa, 2 hours bus ride from Jerusalem.
This time no one is going to stop me from going through with it.
The course, Communication Workshop, was given in Hebrew. The leader was a fellow architect, the same who gave the first presentation in my colleague’s living room two years before.
My Hebrew still wasn’t enough to understand what he said. The second day I caught a whole sentence… I was sooo happy.
On the last day I had a huge insight.
But that will have to be in another article… in Part Three