Without growing you are dying. Every minute of every day.
Survival is dying.
The purpose of life is living…. not dying.
Most people I know are either stuck or are coasting… They are going noplace… fast or slow… it is unsatisfying and yet… starting to move in the direction Life wants you to go, or even where you want to go is near impossible… Just look at most people…
This article will reveal a secret… the secret of taking your life where Life wants you to go.
I have been clear that Life wants each of us to go someplace… not necessarily physical, not necessarily to a life-purpose, and yet it is a place. A non-physical place.
When I ask myself where Life wants me to go, after the almost immediate fear-reflex, I feel that I am where Life wants me to be. Doing what Life wants me to do. Afraid that I am not going to succeed.
But then again, Life is not a life-coach who talks you to death with goal setting, and specific, measurable results, and milestones, and bold audacious actions…
Thank god, because if it came to goal setting, I would be a slacker…
I’ve stopped looking at accomplishing anything, I have stopped measuring myself by my results, I have been bringing the divine to everything… gently, lovingly, and I don’t even know how it happened, but I found myself where Life wanted me to be, doing what Life wanted me to do, and my life started to work, and am afraid to say, but I am, have been, at the right place and the right time. 1
Most teachers want to take you where they want to take you… or alternatively where you want to go. Not Life…
But, ultimately, the only destination that will fill you with that sense of rightness is the place where Life wants to have you.
Now, this is all nice and dandy… but judging from all the sayings that express how difficult it is to take people anywhere, this is not a new problem: most people don’t want to go anywhere… or they want to do they want to do, and they don’t want anyone to tell them what to do. “Don’t tell me what to do!”
So, in different times different tricks and tools were invented to make people move…
…by coaches, and by people themselves who desperately wanted to move, but something was blocking them, stopping them.
Many people say that if they put their running shoes on, they are more likely to actually go and run.
So the biggest challenge is to take people off dead center, to fight off the inertia: the tendency of a body not in motion to stay not in motion.
Do you see that we are back with Physics, and Newton’s laws… this is how education that got integrated is the secret of success… because the same law, Newton’s physical law also says that a body in motion stays in motion, and straight, unless an energy is applied to it to move it faster, move in a different direction, or stop it.
What does that mean to you, in the area of becoming all you can be?
It means that you need to start to move in any direction… and you can pick an easy one. A direction easy for you. And then when you are already in motion, apply the energy of Life to change direction in the direction Life wants you to move.
It sounds complicated, and believe me, it wasn’t just complication, it was the major stumbling block for me, both as a coach, and a person.
How do you cause that initial movement? How do you make a “body” start moving, so you get it up to some speed, and then tweak the direction? 2
You don’t see that that (starting to move in a direction that is easy for you) is the challenge? But it is!
I have a friend who would like to become independently wealthy, or at the minimum build an income source that doesn’t require him to work seven days a week, on the road, like he is working now.
I have a student who would like to do something that makes her grow… but she doesn’t know what, because her nature is the nature of a butterfly.
I have a friend who for decades didn’t move… in spite of all the eclectic knowledge he amassed… You’ll see how he accomplished the fear of getting into motion… and the end of the story isn’t written, yet… He is not my student, but I am watching him.
These two examples will show you that if I can get them to do something relatively easy, something relatively unthreatening, then they can move.
The core of the program is to listen to a 20-80 minute audio, average 30 minutes, and then ponder, and write down, for me, and for themselves, what was their takeaway from it.
Some write two sentences, some write pages after pages.
I read what they write. This is important… they have an experience of being witnessed! And answer what I answer. Sometimes just a word, sometimes long… whatever I see is appropriate…
It takes time to get into the habit. It takes time to get up to speed. And around step 40 (for some people it’s around step 10 in the second round) they become able to be moved gently and by Life… to a direction that leads to a more fulfilling life.
The longer you keep on doing the steps, the more aligned you become with what Life wants you to do, be, and the more satisfying your life becomes.
There is only one way to stop the process: stop doing the steps. Or not start.
It almost doesn’t matter what the steps say, it almost doesn’t matter what your answers are, what really matters is that slowly but surely your whole “body” is in motion, where the sluggish, resistant energy of inertia is sloughed off.
The reason I added the second friend in that list is this: he did someone else’s program, for the past 30 days. That program was similar in that it prescribed an activity for every day, an activity that required the person to do things they normally would not do.
My friend got up earlier every morning, walked to a Starbucks, wrote in a notebook for 15 minutes, contemplating directions, plans, action for the day… (their rule was to not use a computer during this morning 15 minutes contemplation time).
Then he would walk home and start his day. Somewhere in that day he would take another break, and read a book that was from a period before the Gutenberg press. He chose the Bible… but there are tons of books… The importance of the age of the book, I guess, is that language which is anything but smooth… archaic. 3
The Gutenberg press was invented at the time of the Mongol Invasion… around 1440. So before Shakespeare, before most authors we know about.
If I had to do this “challenge” I would read The Zohar… in Aramaic, written in Hebrew letters. I used to do that, it is a great character builder… I would recognize every third fourth word… not more. But you can read… the assignment is to read, not to understand. lol.
This 30-day challenge my friend did 430 Day Reboot by Perry Marshall) took him to a place where he can be moved… Now whether he will be or not, whether he will move himself or not, is still up for grabs… My hunch, sadly, is that it won’t happen.
Why? Because inertia will slow him down, choosing the change will make him fearful… And because he doesn’t know that he is in a good position to move to where Life wants him to go.
This is why the 67 step coaching doesn’t stop at 67 steps, but repeats…
I am at step 46 on my third round, and I am committed to NEVER STOP.
Why? Because I want to keep growing. And left to our own devices, we won’t keep growing… I won’t.
And getting stuck again is not something I’d like for myself. Or for you.
I am re-reading the book Siddhartha by Herman Hesse.
In the story Siddhartha has only very brief periods where he can change. And really long periods of stuckedness.
And that is how “normal” life is…
The extraordinary life happens when a person creates a movement, perpetual movement, so they can change direction, themselves continuously. Be light on their feet.
I’ve read an article about a bicycle coach who used the 1% improvement technique: change every aspect 1%, the cumulative effect is astounding. The technique is called “The Aggregation of Marginal Gains”.
What the article writer doesn’t say (doesn’t know that he doesn’t know?) that the object (changing every aspect) needs to be in motion… which can be said about a bicycle team, literally and figuratively.
Read the article here
Honestly, I don’t care whose program you use to get up to moving steadily…
But unless you have an accountability partner, or a coach, and unless it is a 365 days a year process, you’ll not be in movement long enough for Newton’s law to be helpful… Au contraire… exactly the opposite… Newton’s law is why your grind to a halt… will lose momentum.
My students who take long breaks could tell you the story.
- Photo By vlasta2, bluefootedbooby on flickr.com – https://flickr.com/photos/bluefootedbooby/370458424/, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=1616406
- When I look back what happened for me, what took me out of the years long depression, I find something very surprising. About a year ago I found a get rich scheme. It was really a Ponzi scheme, but it took me a while to see that. Desire blinded me.
For reasons I don’t want to explain here, One had to be awake and in front of the computer at 1 am. I didn’t do that, but I got up at 3-ish every morning, and did what one needed to do on the computer at 1 am. I did that for a few months.
And although I lost all the money I invested in the Ponzi scheme, I was moving in a direction… I WAS MOVING! And then it was easy and gentle to change direction and allow Life to take me.
That is when I bought the 67 steps, and started to do it… And the rest is history… I came out of the depression, and found new wonderful things to offer to my clients… All good…
- Photo By PHGCOM – Own work, photographed at Tokyo Currency Museum, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=9520436