I am republishing this article, because of the new insights… that everything that is not need based is the not-you, the society created “IT”, the not self, and because it is very difficult to explain… I need these articles to be together… Eventually I’ll find the right words that communicate to more people.
Needs are feelings. They run you, from the inside. Need is a feeling… and it can be on many levels.
Animals have needs. Human have the same needs, and more.
Depending on how many needs you have, you are on different evolutionary levels of humanity.
In this article we’ll need with the two needs where most get stuck: the needs of the self. These are non-physical needs, resulting in non-physical pain if not met, and pleasure if they are met.
So let’s begin.
I have always wondered why it is that only people who commit to something and then work on it are ever happy.
I could not explain it with the limited knowledge I’ve had… but this is changing.
I just finished reading a book by a total unknown who named the different inner feeling mechanisms. Name it and claim it… things are becoming clearer to me.
Scientists are several steps behind: they still only talk about the effects… with no idea about the causes. They have never really looked under the surface where all the causes, all the real causes are.
If we decided to rewrite the books that lacked the information and made far reaching wrong assumptions from what is visible, I personally have read at least 50 books that need to be rewritten, all written by famous or trusted psychologists.
Do I have to rewrite my articles? Not necessarily, though some aspects of the soul corrections may need some rethinking. It’s OK. this is a sign of someone growing…
I have accurately defined the feelings, but I’ve had no idea what pushes the levers and the dials. Now I have more idea, and my job is going to be to develop conversations, activators, or methodology for people to be able to change what they need to change, so they can experience life as a human, in all its glory.
One of the previously very foggy territory of human feelings has been the area of self-image, and the image of the self in the world, as seen by others.
I am writing very slowly, much like the way I would walk in the dark when I can bump into furniture any moment and stub my toe or hurt my shin.
Now, as it turns out the self-image is very important. We’ve known that… but not like this.
So here is how it is.
You are born with no sense of self.
Then you are told what you are… and some of it came with good feelings, and some if it came with bad feelings.
Depending on the language people used, your emphasis was on the doing, behaving, or on the self.
If they said: you are clever, you attached the good feeling that comes with it to your self. If they said: that was done cleverly… you were more inclined to look what you did, how you did it, and did more of that.
Marker feelings are the feelings that are strongly attached to words…
The less words people in your life used to define your self, your identity, the less stuck you turn out today.
I am still stuck with a bunch of bad stuff my parents and some teachers said about me 60-plus years ago.
Your self-image either evolves or doesn’t evolve, depending on the level of personal evolution you are.
Many of you has no independent self-image, independent of what others said about you. Or if any self… only in a limited area of life, like work.
Before you can participate and work on self-expression, self-actualization, self-anything, you have to be able to put the self that others created as not yours.
It isn’t… although it may be a good tool… but it’s just a tool. Because everything you ever wanted comes through other people, through interactions, it is important, but it is not you. What keeps it stuck are the pleasant feelings attached to that self… the pleasant feelings coming from being acknowledged for being something you are not.
It takes work, but it’s possible: I have done it. Once you cut ties, you’ll be surprised how much of life was tied up in those moments of pleasant feeling.
Once you manage to distinguish yourself as not what others say about you, you end up with a self that is distinct but not separate from others.
It is distinct as you are not other people’s appendage. And it is not separate as the front of the hand and the back of the hand… they are connected but looked at from a different angle.
Your self-image, if it has already developed, may have a lot of pleasant feelings attached to it…
You know because all your attempts at self-actualization fail: you are stuck.
You can be stuck on the level of self-defined-by-others, or you can be stuck on the level of level of self-defined-by self… but as you will see, both levels are the source of a lot of grief and very little pleasure, although you are stuck because you want the tiny little pleasure that is available on those levels of self.
Judging from the emails I get, the responses I get to my questions and articles, having moved beyond the two lower selves is rare.
Now, let me use Margoczi’s (the author of the book I am learning) terminology: Margoczi is an engineer, and he will work, therefore with levers and dials, and forces, and vectors and balance, and such.
The forces are needs in the world of feelings.
You can see that the need to eat, the need for safety, the need for reproduction are actual real forces… and you can only resist them, but at your own expense.
The public image is accurately expressed in the need based world view as the need to meet others expectations of you.
When you were called smart… you now need to be smart. What a burden. When you were called beautiful, now you have to be beautiful… what a burden.
You see that you can get stuck there, big time.
The self-image is accurately expressed in the need based world view as the need to meet your own expectations of you.
Many people are stuck on this level. I am smart, I am brilliant, I am beautiful are words… but they have “marker feelings” attached to them that are pleasant.
Life seems to provide pleasant feelings through stroking this ego… not through work, or not often. If you can be brilliant without work, you’ll choose that, and not the work that may prove that you are not that brilliant.
Recognize yourself? I bet a lot of you do.
No matter what level you got stuck, where you want to be is on the level of “the need for self-realization” which is where the inner harmony, inner peace becomes possible.
You cannot get to this level, the level of self-realization if the lower levels, the need to meet others expectations and the need to meet your own expectations are calling the shot.
This is when you can start growing, start getting fulfillment, and become available to receive and give love. In the previous levels of need you are too bunched up in fulfilling needs to even bother.
If this was a little convoluted: I apologize. I am a beginner in the language, and your thinking cannot be more coherent than your language… so I have some ways to go before I’ll be coherent in my speaking. Days? Weeks? It will come.
What you want to be left with is that you need to unattach yourself from the positive (or negative) marker feelings of the lower levels of need.
What is a marker feeling? If you come to a call with me, the fear is, people say, is that I am going to say something bad about them.
Now, I probably will… and the result will be an unpleasant marker feeling attached to a word or two.
So marker feeling is a word thing. If I say: you are stupid, or that is stupid… the marker feeling is attached to the word “stupid”.
I actually don’t have that any more. But it and its evil twin “smart” used to run my life.
So today you can call me stupid, you can call me smart, and I will have no marker feelings… none.
I still have marker feelings to old and ugly… none to pretty or beautiful. This meaning you can call me pretty or beautiful: no feeling. Call me ugly or old, or me looking in the mirror seeing old and ugly, and the unpleasant marker feelings are right there.
You have a big dose of marker feelings about mistakes, being wrong, failure, people laughing at you.
This is what keeps you on the lower levels, unable to grow.
This does not need to happen publicly. You’ll experience the marker feelings when you think, when you read something, or when you watch a movie… Just observe. Get to know what you react always…
Trump was elected president because of these marker feelings of his crowd. This is a real indication that his crowd hasn’t grown out of the lower levels, and neither has he.
The ultimate condition for a human to start evolving is to leave the lower level needs and start operating at the higher level needs.
At the present time 0.8% of humanity is available, on one level or another to live on the level of self-realization. Almost 1%.
The fact that you are here is not proof that you are in that almost 1%.
Just like someone complaining about something is not proof that they will do something about what they are complaining about.
And this takes us to what I really wanted to talk about: commitment.
In my experience, “until one is committed, there is hesitancy, always ineffectiveness.” 2
Hesitancy, ineffectiveness are signs of someone protecting themselves from attack on the “I”.
Either from themselves or from others.
The need to meet others’ expectations and the need to meet our own expectation are in play, not allowing us to be free and to grow.
And like with jumping into the water… you have to take the leap, if you ever want to be free, and live a life befitting a human, to have a chance at happiness.
Let me make it simple, if you, like me, feel that this was ugh… lots of words, not much meaning for you.
OK… this article is a tad convoluted and confusing. The essence is: need based emotions are one thing. They are all in the feelings, and they serve you.
There are marker feelings that cause pain or pleasure, and get fixed and attached to words. (look at the skating deer illustration to see what I mean)
They stop you from evolving.
You want to detach the marker feelings from words to reclaim your freedom to be a fully functioning human.
And then start to climb the Tree of Life… towards inner peace… and the Thousand Years of Peace.
- here is the whole quote: "Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."
- here is the whole quote: “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back– Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”