What is the Self? Part 2
So, the question is still: what is the self, the self that you honor when you talk about integrity? Integrity is being true to your self…
What is the self that you esteem in self-esteem. (Esteem means ‘hold in high regard’)
You have no answer, and neither have any real and useful answer the videos on youtube, or philosophical books. What they do is create more confusion, lump the self together with ego, or with consciousness… well, they are all confused puppies, sorry.
So what is MY answer, and why is it more valid than famous people’s “answer”?
Why is it, that wherever you look, there is verbal and real confusion, and no one has an answer.
The question is: is this part of the millennia old effort to reduce humanity to sheep?
Toohey (in The Fountainhead) says: (paraphrased) if you take away a person’s self, then they become a walking, talking nothing. No substance within, so they will take anything you say, they will come to you for their opinions, because without self, one doesn’t know what they like, what they don’t like, what they think, or what others think.
There is a turning point, by the way, in your life: the first time you experience that you are not OK. This is the point where most people decide what it is that they need to do to fit it, to be liked, accepted, well thought of… to become OK. this is the point where you essentially give up on your self, give up on being self-directed, enough onto yourself.
How did I regain my self, and how I know what I know about the self?
Some 34 years ago I spent some time in a very upscale psychiatric unit in Budapest, Hungary. I was first a patient sleeping there, then I came in every day and spent the day there for about 8 months. I participated in every group, and I had one-on-one sessions with a psychologist.
One of the tests that rattled my cage was a 500 questions test: you got 500 cards and two boxes. You needed to sort the cards into those two boxes: agree, disagree.
The questions were really simple: do you like the window open at night? Do you like sweets? I don’t remember many of them, I was left with the feeling of being lost. I didn’t know what to answer to most of those question.
They made me do the test again, same result. No self, no self-knowledge, no self-awareness. Nobody home.
I didn’t want to have anything to do with the world, I felt aimless, lost, and afraid to finish it all. Only when they gave me a shower therapy when I was jolted out of my nothingness, my everythingness, and started to feel where I begin, and where begins the outside, the not me.
The Dark Side, the people that want power over you, preach one-ness, and community, and love for your fellow human being, and selflessness, and charity, and altruism, but these are all designed to destroy your sense of self.
Can the self be destroyed? Practically yes.
The self is a part of you, an aspect of you, that wasn’t born when you were born, and won’t die when you die. The self is like an infinitely thin line that stretches between heaven and earth. It is definite, and unique. To you. It is your core. It is individual, and it is striving. It is, some call it consciousness, but it isn’t a good word for it, it is the part of you that wants you to be the best.
So how does soul-correction fit into this picture?
Before I get to soul-correction, I must say a few words about how I get to these outlandish concepts that fly in the face of what others say.
I am an empath. I feel my own self, but more importantly I feel other people. I feel every aspect of them (I think) and I feel them more distinctly than I feel myself.
When I feel myself, I feel everything, the breeze on my skin, itching, the chair under my butt, the hunger, the temperature, everything. Too much information, it is very hard to distinguish what is relevant and what isn’t.
I first noticed it on healing sessions. I could identify stuff on others that I could not identify on myself. But when I am connecting to another, I am focusing on what’s relevant, and what they feel, and the irrelevant falls away.
This is the exact methodology and the exact reason why and how I can place the different aspects of a person, and even be able to describe the shape, the nature, the dynamic, the emotion, and often the attitude of the aspect.
So far I have located the following aspects or component of a human being:
- mind (often called the conscious mind, I prefer to call it the thinking mind, or the machine mind)
- tangerine spot: the gate to our connection with all-of-it
- will or Life-Force
The you, that you consider you, should be all of the above, many facets, like a diamond. Our language isn’t aware of these aspects, and lumps them all together.
The religious teachings ask you to deny half of these… but ultimately they want you to become sheep, self-less, will-less, intention-less, soul-less, ego-less, a puppet they can control.
The trick the Dark Side uses is to make you feel guilty through comparison. If the standard is set too high, or it is set in such a way that it is not natural, it is not possible, it is not doable, but you don’t know that. You think that everybody else is able to do it, only you can’t: you will feel guilty.
You will start pretending that you are holy, selfless, altruistic, etc. but you know that you are lying, because none of those are natural, none of those are beings fit for a human.
For the Self, the part of you that wasn’t born when you were born, and won’t die when you die, the most important thing is itself. It is “designed” to get the most out of life, to feel the most, experience the most, accomplish the most. It is not concerned with other people, neither their opinion about it, nor their needs, wants or desires.
The self is self-ish. It is like a flower. It is like a cat. It is like anything alive. Try to imagine a flower saying it to itself: oh, there is this other flower, maybe I should allow it to flower, it never had a chance!
Or the cat: oh, maybe I shouldn’t eat today, my master is short of cash!
Unimaginable, isn’t it? And stupid!
Well, you have been stupid!
It is not entirely your fault, the life force that keeps you straight, the self, the will, the intention have been scientifically and methodically killed in you for the sake of the virtues that are non-virtues, in fact evil: selflessness, altruism, and self-denial.
So how do you get back to being a full-fledged human from the puppet stage? All my students are at this stage, and all our work is about that, at this point: giving you tools that help you go through this stage.
So far I have created three Avatar-State audios that work specifically on this:
- Get back to the present
- Find your self
If you spend most of your time thinking about stuff, comparing, and fretting, get the “Present” audio. Without getting present, you won’t hear or feel your Self at all.
If you have a well-developed public persona that is somewhat winning in the world, but underneath you don’t know who you are, and are directionless and lost, get the Find your self audio: it will be perfect for you.
And if you are like me, no winning public persona, but vibration high enough (above 200) then the Self-discipline audio will be best for you.
If you are in doubt, ask me. I’ll muscle-test it for you.
Use only one of these, and trust that the next few months that will be your audio. Do not switch back and forth, even if it looks like abundance would be really great. Or love…
Without a Self none of those activators will make you grow as a person, they will grow the pretense self instead.
Do not listen directly to the audios: their strong energy can cause spiritual damage, Like you wouldn’t put your plant under Niagara Falls thinking you are watering it. The water will kill the plant. The high-high energy of the audio listened to through a headset won’t kill you, but it will do something that even I can’t fix.
And if you feel ready, get on a 15-minute call with me where I teach you to connect to All-of-it… Connecting a few times a day is the best way to start re-orienting yourself around the Self. But, in my experience, trying to figure it out, alone, from the videos, isn’t working for people. The words mean something different for everyone, but when I feel what you are doing, I can guide you exactly, precisely, the way it will work for you.