This past week my sales dropped to near zero. I got intensely curious and started to investigate. I detected when it started, and how it transpired.
Then I started to pay attention to my feelings with regards to my business. I found greed, (a persistent pressure reaching for my throat) and a kind of fear that starts in my stomach and makes a big flashing V, reaching as far as my shoulders.
Then it all became clear. I dropped the cause of the feelings and we are almost back to normal.
Let me repeat it again: I dropped the cause of the feelings. Not the feelings. Once the cause was dropped, the feelings went away.
Everyone thinks that they can change feelings. That they can stop feeling fear, anxiety, jealousy, impatience, and all the other feelings. Wrong.
I remember when I was a beginning driver I once wanted to stop, so I pressed on my legs stronger: it works when you are on a scooter! But of course the cause of the movement was the gas pedal being pressed, so the car, instead of stopping, accelerated.
For a very beginner driver this is a new concept. By the same token, it will be new to you to look for the cause, but you can learn it, just like I learned to look where my feet are… instead of anywhere else… lol.
I have made the map of emotions at the request of a student of mine… As I was working on adding a picture with the emotions drawn on it, I realized something really profound: it would take you a long time to be able to recognize your feelings, precisely, but even if you did, you would still be stuck with them.
So, what is the cause of all negative feelings? Here is the bomb!
All negative feelings are caused by one of two thoughts:
1. there is something wrong here (it shouldn’t be)
2. somewhere is better than here (it should be different)
These are really the two thoughts that are underneath all emotions.
Now, knowing what the emotion is will guide you to the thought more directly, but even if you can’t recognize the feeling, you can still find the thought.
Just ask: where or about what am I saying that it’s wrong or shouldn’t be? What am I saying that it should be different?
I used to suffer about the weather. I like cool, even cold. Hot makes me feel tired, and uncomfortable. The suffering wasn’t from the weather. It was from the thought: it should be different, meaning the weather.
I suffered from greed… meaning: I should be able to match my results to my teachers’
I feel impatience… meaning: something should go faster than it does
I feel frustrated… meaning: it should be smooth, easy, piece of cake… no obstacles!
I feel fear… meaning: I should be sure what’s on the other side!
and on, and on, and on.
When you can return to: things/people should be exactly the way they are, and I should be exactly where I am, physically, emotionally, financially, weight-wise… then you suddenly have some peace. And power.
Shoulds are like wind-mills: you can fight them, but you won’t come out with any real results!
But you can see that without you saying that something shouldn’t be or should be, it would not be there… life is always complete. There is nothing ever wrong, nothing is ever missing.
It is only the mind that adds those, because mind is never present, it always compares with what was, what could be, what should be, what is ideal, what other people think should be, it never deals with what is, only in comparison.
This is why it is so important to get out of the mind.
But how do you do it? You don’t even know you are in your mind, do you? Not until it keeps you up at night, not until you notice that you didn’t understand a word of what you just read or heard…
The Get Into The Present Avatar State audio is designed just for you. It will gently help you notice, and release the grip of the mind on you, and allow you to relate to what is, so you can have some power, some fun, some peace.
All your shoulds are mind constructs. All your standards, all your ideas, all your aspirations, goals, plans…
I am not advocating to live at random, and have no plans. But there is a science of planning and returning to the present where all the doing and being happens.
I will teach that in my upcoming Abundance workshop, but you can get a head start by using the Get Into The Present audio now.
UPDATE: This just came in
I wanted to share some things that I’ve been noticing and discriminating since yesterday.
All of my mind activity is centered around comparison, and that is almost always triggered by some sort of “should” that comes packaged in an infinite number of disguises. The “shoulds” are always either dealing with the past or some imagined future.
I am beginning to see, with even just this small amount of observation, how I am never in the present… always thinking about what I should be doing or not doing, but always some sort of comparison to which I always fall short. I realize that when I am in this frame of mind – which is probably 95% of the time – it puts me in a position where I am never good enough so I am living in a constant state of lack and deficit.
I am realizing that this is the origin of all of my bad feelings and emotions. I also am beginning to understand that when I try to think through these problems, that’s really where things begin to spiral downwards quickly, because I am trying to fix the problem with the mechanism that actually caused a problem. I have lived most of my life stuck in this tiny, airless space, and didn’t even realize that’s where I’ve been. I’m like the goldfish who thinks the bowl is the world, not having any concept of the vastness of the ocean, or even a river, lake or pond.
My next biggest challenge is to not try and fix it! That is SO difficult for me, it is almost like a reflex.