The First Step To Find Your Own Self Is Distinguishing What Is The False Self, What Is The "Not You".
Here is a spiritual practice I'd like you to start:
A character in Herman Hesse's novel 'Demian' says the following: "I live in my dreams. Other people live in dreams, but not in their own."
Whose dreams do YOU live in?
What is the source of the fantasies that dominate your imagination? Are they the authentic outpourings of your own
soulSelf? Or did they originate with your parents and teachers and lovers? Did they sneak into you from the movies and songs and books you love? Are they the skewed result of the emotional wounds you endured or the limitations you've gotten used to?
Now is an excellent time to take inventory.
Find out how close you are to living in your own dreams
So, what is this spiritual practice?
As I say in all my articles about the Self, and I say in everything about say about the Avatar State audio activators, it is most important to shed the fake self by distinguishing it.
But, of course, unless you have some relevant questions to ask, you don't know which aspect of the person you think you are is fake and which aspects may be real.
For the most part, for a starting point, it is safe to declare that everything that's going to show up is your fake self.
Darn, Sophie, aren't you exaggerating? No, I am not.
As you could hear in my article yesterday, I still have elements of my old fake self operating in my life, making me repeat old patters, and I must confess, I am having a real hard time learning new tricks in that area. I even had to muscle-test if the Chestnut Bud energy, the energy that helps you learn new things, is in the Heaven on Earth. It is, and even with that, learning new things is hard.
I have built my whole identity around the "heroism" of 'overcoming impossible odds.' After talking to some of my students, I am not alone with that. Youtube videos ignore people who are doing great, but making tear-jerker videos about disadvantaged people who overcome (somewhat) their disadvantages. the whole world argues for this setup.
I have picked my inspiration, my business model, my whole life to serve this ideal... except that it is not my real self. It just so happens that I have overcome stuff, but why make a life out of struggle... one would think that it is easy to switch to grace and ease, but my experience counters that.
This is why in the Activate Divinity Course, we smooth-talk the ego, begging it to allow us to change. I haven't done that yet... ooops, maybe that's what's been missing.
Now, other students can only find the same thing over and over again, and they are stuck with the topmost layer... but all your values, all your arguments, all your opinions, your whole world view is borrowed, adopted, and you'll need to examine all your opinions.
My suggestion is that you start with just one area. It could be about money, wealth, etc. Or work, accomplishment, achievement, etc. Or love...
It will keep you busy for a while. Only when you can really see that what you hold true, what you hold sacred was borrowed and not yours.
Without going back to self, without distinguishing all the way you are a second-hander, you'll never have self-esteem, self-respect, self-love, integrity, and all the things that make you a human being. You'll be staying a puppet on a string, living to please others, appeal to others, get agreement, get esteem, get value... from others.