Now, you need to know that I almost never dream a whole story… I dream moods. Some situations.
Last night I dreamed about going back to Israel, meeting people I had known, experiencing their attitude towards me. Wasn’t pleasant.
And just before I woke up I was shown the theme I am going to write about.
You see, everyone wants to know what they are supposed to have as a purpose to their lives. Even some students, inexplicably ask this question after years of studying with me. Boggles the mind.
The answer to the questions is simple. Ask a better question.
A better question would be how to live life that it’s enjoyable, fulfilling and financially rewarding at the same time.
That question has a lot of potential.
And the answers can be learned to follow, one at a time, until you get to the enjoyable, fulfilling and financially rewarding life.
No one profession will answer that question… not even a field…
So, let’s look at some principles that if you faithfully follow them, by surrendering to them, you’ll become that rare happy person. Shall we?
Principle #1: nothing that is easy is fulfilling. Maybe filling… as in fattening, but not fulfilling.
In fact, most depression, most blah comes from living an easy, comfortable, unchallenging life. It brings with it the feeling ‘Is this all there is?’
Life wants more life… and can only have more life through MEETING challenges.
- Anything that feels good in the beginning will be unfulfilling on the long run.
- A thing that is easy to do, easy to get, will be unfulfilling.
- Anything that doesn’t show resistance, especially in the beginning, will be unfulfilling.
- Anything where you don’t need to work to get the result will be unfulfilling.
And all these will leave you and your life feeling empty.
The issue with this principle is your TLB score.
Your TLB score, your Twitchy Little Bastard score tells me how much unpleasant, difficult, challenging thing you are willing to wade through.
At present 93% of people who ask me to measure their TLB score is a TLB 1, which means they are not happy, they are not fulfilled, and their lives feel empty.
It also means that I most likely won’t be able to make a difference for them. They will not do what they need to do to get the results they seek, because they are unwilling to go through the difficult.
Interestingly, a TLB 2 person is not twice as willing; they are 10 times more willing.
You can raise your TLB score by voluntarily challenging yourself. In all or any area of life. Taste, food choices, reading hard stuff, learning a new language, learning a new musical instrument, going to bed at the same time, getting up at the same time, saying no, etc. Lots of ways you are a putz… so lots of ways you can get your TLB score higher.
TLB 1 is a putz… Busy getting nowhere.
What is underneath a low TLB is a worldview that you should always get, GET what you want. Without doing anything, even if the thing you want belongs to another person.
Principle #2: come from your strength. Now, this sounds easy, but it isn’t.
I had a call yesterday with a student who’s been stuck. TLB 4, by the way.
In the call it has become clear that people in his life, at least in his experience, have forced him to be different than he is.
He is kinesthetic… meaning he naturally lives on the Tree of Life.
But our culture, education, other people live on the Tree of Knowledge, where being swift, getting things fast (wrongly, by the way) and blurting out wrong answers really fast is the way to be a winner.
So in the world of mind-people who are kinesthetic, who need to look, hear, see, feel before things land are at a disadvantage. The world seems to be going too fast, and the world seems to be making them wrong for how they are.
- I am kinesthetic. Slow.
- Another one of my students: kinesthetic. slow… and deep.
- And this guy I was talking to yesterday: kinesthetic, slow, and suffering.
Being kinesthetic means being closer to the truth, because you get your knowledge not from the words but from what you experience.
The world would be a better place if, for example, doctors, nutritionists, spiritual teachers were kinesthetic, and not just walking talking computer memories… repeating some mind stuff, killing people and the spirit in the process.
So, the principle is: come from your strength, instead of allowing others to push you in the direction where you are weak.
The main problem here is standing up for yourself and communicating your right to be you. Autonomy. It requires courage… while you are naturally afraid.
One sentence communication I have seen would work for all three of us: ‘I am slow, but I am not stupid.’
We’ll deal with this in the upcoming communication course… I can’t wait!
Principle #3: Life is full of experiments. You can only make a mistake if you don’t regularly check if the experiment is bringing you the desired results… i.e. experiments run too long.
If your cone of vision is too narrow, and you stop seeing anything outside of your ‘truth’… you may be going down the wrong path.
Keeping your eyes fuzzy, and regularly checking in with yourself if this path is earning you a fulfilling life is mandatory. Is it challenging enough? Are you going deep enough? Are you coming from your strength?
And lastly: are you working on something that others can appreciate enough to pay for?
This last question is a big deal.
A lot of lives have bottomed out on this principle:
I have thought of quitting a thousand times. Luckily I have some tools you may not have: muscle testing, and innovating. I also have communication. I can turn my attitude around on a dime… lots of skills. So I haven’t quit.
I have students who work on something that isn’t selling and isn’t going to sell. So there are no financial rewards. And for a fulfilling life, you need to have financial rewards.
What is happening? Is the experiment showing no money? Or is it showing that your product, your creation needs to be sold?
Selling is communication.
Communication is a lot more than speaking the right words. It is knowing and creating your attitude, knowing and creating images in another person head. To create the desire to buy, etc. And, of course, a lot more.
Real communication. It is more about who you are, what you think about yourself and others, than about anything else.
Without communication it is nearly impossible to have a fulfilling life. 🙁
Principle #4: Adam knew Eve and then he loved her.
Contrary of what you think, love is not possible without first knowing. And this is true about people, and this is true about things. Activities. Professions. Hobbies.But to know something is to engage with it.
Deeply. Persistently. Ongoingly. Through thick and thin.
And this takes us back to your TLB score.
One of the things I ‘do’ for my students is help them reframe an activity they see as useless, and unpleasant. The more I can do it, the more they can engage, the longer, the deeper, and they may fall in love with it.
There is a lot of lip service about the grind, but what no one says is that grind for grind’s sake isn’t going to create that ‘know and then love’ result you seek.
Gritting your teeth will not result in love.
This is when changing the context is the most important.
I have a conversation every week to re-examine my context and change it if joy is disappearing.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger enjoyed the burn… he didn’t grit his teeth.
- Chief Tekumseh enjoyed being brave… he didn’t grit his teeth.
- The Polgar sisters enjoyed playing chess… day and night… they didn’t grit their teeth.
So if you thought that grit is gritting your teeth, you have been wrong.
I live a tough life, most wouldn’t be able to go through it without suffering. I am a master at creating context… and make the hardest the most enjoyable.
You can learn it. This is part of communication. Because even though I said communication is getting what you want through other people, the truth is that in this regard YOU are other people. The same tools that work with other people will work on yourself as well.
So you become someone who helps you get what you want, instead of working against yourself.
I will announce the Communication Workshop sometime in July. I will announce it only to a handful of people. You need to have raised your hand ahead of time by signing up the the [Communication] mailing list for gifts.
And you need to be able to meet the minimum criteria of trainability…
For that you can have your Starting Point Measurements done… the numbers don’t lie.