For those of you that just want the bottom line, who you are is what you say yes to and what you say no to. A mix... always.
You are often the last person to know yourself. Because, for the most part, your justification and explanation, in your mind, is as good as replaces what you said yes to or no to.
Because you lie.
The longer than the bottom line answer is almost the same, with some additions.
Most of you don't like who you are, but don't ever consider changing what you say yes to and what you say no to.
When I look in the mirror I see a person I like. She does great things, and only does things I don't consider great seldom.
It is the end result of a long process: I didn't always like myself.
But I remember writing an article saying: if you like yourself you love your life...
So liking myself became a priority, because I hated my life... lol.
Some other ways you see what you say yes to and what you say no to, is other people's behavior. Especially in movies or books. What appalls you, what mortifies you, what delights you, what makes you weepy.
Even the most closed off, most apparently emotionless person has these inner reactions...
On any given day you say a lot of yes and you say a lot of no. Sometimes your choice is automatic... but you always choose.
The first thing I learned in Landmark, really the first sentence I understood was that what defines something best is what it isn't... the boundaries, the line where what it is and what it isn't bump up against each other.
Because you are mostly unaware, and because mostly you label things, you need to know that labeling immediately activates the ego, the false self, that doesn't like you to do this work.
I have asked two people to make a list of their tangible and intangible skills. Both are hoping I will forget that I asked them. Because the results would be too obviously not to their inflated ego's liking.
So what you want to do is tiptoe... not alert the ego about the work you are doing.
what alerts the ego is "I am" statements.
Do the inquiry wordlessly.
We want to find out who you are, right now, and not if it is good or not.
You need to relate to reality, instead of a should or should not reality.
Can you do it?
I encourage you to comment, or email me with your findings.
Avoid using "I am" statements, please. If you do, I'll delete your email without an answer.