I got scared this morning. My stomach is still in a knot…

Something interesting happened to me this morning: I got scared.

What's so interesting about that, Sophie? Good question. I don't normally get scared. Last I got scared when Trump got elected. That was four months ago. That was also interesting. 1

You can say that I get scared twice, maybe three times a year... nowadays.

So what happened that scared me this time was a request to "read" someone's vibration. Not the whole ten measurements, the starting point measurements, just their vibration. That is always a warning sign, by the way. It means, I feel, that there is no curiosity, it is just checking ME against what they KNOW.

Of the 10 measurements the vibration is the least useful and you have the least amount of chance to effect directly. So when someone only asks for that, my warning signals go off... Either they are too stupid, or too arrogant to know what is up.

And they also wrote something stupid on the form where you pay. Very revealing.

I looked them up on the internet. Now... the pull to write about them is tremendous. 2 Make them the evil one, the bad one, the cause of my fear. But it would be a move to deflect the attention from myself.

I know, I know, we all do that. But not this time. And I can feel my resistance in my arms... lol.

I don't want to, you can't make me.

One of my students is dealing with the fear that comes up even when we just contemplate him running his business differently. So I showed him a few ways he can take the sting out of fear: kind of show that it only looks so scary because you pull away from it.

Most fear is unfounded. Or if what you fear will happen, it is not as horrible as it looks before you allow it to happen.

But it is easier to see for the coach: it is not their hide that is danger of getting bullet holes in it, is it?

After I sat with the fear for a while, I refunded his money, and sent an email to say: I prefer to not mingle our energies, because he was a nasty dude.

But what can a nasty dude do to me?

Ben Franklin said: if you have a head of wax, don't go to the sun. Do I have a head of wax? My results say otherwise, although I have no idea how I know what I know, and why it would be true.

So what am I afraid of?

Hate. I am afraid of hate.

Hate makes someone's view skewed. In that view they are knights in shining armor, and you are a worm. Disgusting. Despicable. Especially in the comparison.

It is all about them. And in that you are stripped of your humanity. Naked, and ridiculous.

One of the most valuable distinctions I learned early on in my participation in Landmark is "compassion".

As someone who had a history of not being willing to be responsible for their own well-being, mental, emotional, I was asked to get a certification from an assigned mental health professional at $150 a pop, that I am going to be well and suitable for the course I wanted to take. Even if it was a course I had taken before.

In fact, when I added up, I spent more money for those certificates than for my education.

But this one time I got education in the psychiatrist's office. He had a plaque on his desk with words that talked about compassion. So we talked about the plaque.

His definition of compassion was this: Recognize what the other person goes through as something that you have gone through. And you have gotten to the other side. Offer a helping hand to the other person help them get to get to the other side.

Different from what people at large consider compassion: pity and rejoicing that it's not them. Or any variety of that. Almost always including hate or anger against the perpetrator who caused the misery of the person for whom one feels "compassion". You can see how words misguide you, mislead you, and make you feel superior.

The opposite of compassion, is, in my opinion, feeling superior, being superior. And it's constant companions: contempt and condescension.

And because my soul correction is all about being superior, anyone who demonstrates superiority scares me.

I do remember that searing hatred, anger, desire to annihilate the lesser specimens that blocked my way to greatness. You may call it frustration... you probably do. Frustration is a "nice" word for hatred.

If it weren't for them, I could be... fill in the blanks.

It always seems that YOU aren't the cause of your misfortune, your lack of achievement, it's always others, or the circumstances, including the genes you inherited, your lack of ambition, etc. To your ego they are all circumstances that you can blame.

You don't "fix" your soul correction, you tame it, you manage it, you remain vigilant.

You develop the spiritual capacities that take off the edge, in my case: compassion. To some degree: kindness, though I still lack a whole lot in that capacity.

What you can never develop is being casual about seeing your worst in another and not be afraid.

But when you can realize that the source of fear is seeing yourself in the mirror, then you can choose to walk away. I did. My life is better for it.

Footnotes

  1. That is my "invented" attitude about life: it's interesting. A lot like a bug. You can say "ugh", or you can say "interesting" and then observe it. I choose to do the second. It's helped me be even keeled and undisturbed, so attitude is a keeper.
  2. The few facts that will make this article easier to get is this: they, the person who asked for their soul correction, are accomplished, have abilities similar to mine, and are frustrated by people's unwillingness to follow their advice.

    By the way, this has been happening to me with increasing frequency: someone really accomplished, somewhat famous, asking me for their measurement or measurements. I have never had any of them be willing to see what I see... i.e. grow from my feedback. And if you only have yourself as a teacher, you have a fool for a teacher...

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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