In the past 36 hours, I have been torn between wanting to have MY life, MY work to be witnessed, and getting the work done.
When I looked at the failed attempts of Source finding a human to represent humanity 1 , this is what I find:
4. personal significance
This human needs to be able to handle BIG fear, and the attacks of ego. And personal interest needs to take back-seat to the "job."
Until about 36 hours ago I was doing great. It looked like smooth sailing here-on.
Except: about 36 hours ago I was attacked and dark energies started to ravage my body, and drain me from my energy, from my connection.
I have received, I assume, subliminal suggestions to go public, which, of course, flies in the face of what I need to be.
I started to tweet and watch the blog's stats, I checked Facebook... hah, suddenly I was the hero, I was the center, and not the work.
I saw that my brother (of all people) subscribed to one of my pages... and then it really hit me. It is starting to be all about ME.
Wake up call. It is time to return to humility. It is time to get the job done.
My vibrational frequency is at 800... I wonder what it will take to beat the Dark Side.
Repent, recommit, and return. 36 hours vs. eternity.
In a stroke of inspiration I was lead to a microfiche version of The Holy Zohar. I was suggested that it can create an energy field that is not attractive, or maybe even protective from the attacks of the Dark Side... so I am now wearing it on my body.
I will take any protection from the Dark Side I can get.
- The question naturally rises: why does Source need a human to do that? Can't it just do it, no human involved? The answer is "no." The agreement between The Light and The Vessel was Free Will, Free Agency. But a representative of The Vessel CAN speak for The Vessel, however many souls there are (7 billion?) and that is why there is a need for at least ONE human to be involved. My hunch: this was the assignment of Jesus (if there was such a real person... I have my doubts), of the Buddha, and probably others over all these years, like Sai Baba. But instead they went public, they wanted disciples, they wanted public healing, they wanted personal significance. I feel their pain. But, unfortunately the desire for personal significance stops one from being effective for humanity. This is what I am seeing now, and this is what I am having an opportunity to give up. Documenting, humbly, the work is an information tool: people deserve to know what's happening to them. In case I perish, at least they'll be able to read and maybe there will be someone who completes the job, in case I am taken prematurely. I don't mean to be overly dramatic, but the intensity of the Dark Side has been increasing, and who knows what they can do