“It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.”
It tells me, and it tells you, how much discomfort you are able to experience and not run away mentally, emotionally, or physically. And therefore it tells you whether you can have the good life, health, wealth, love and fulfillment… or not.
Its activating mechanism is below your conscious awareness, and is quite habitual.
In modern parlance they call it “Attention Deficit”… but it’s B.S.
As long as there is no structural difference between an ADD person’s brain and a person who can stay planted… attentive, it is more a habit than a disease.
In this article I’ll attempt to take it apart, layer by layer. And I’ll put it all in your hand… so you can regain your power over your attention and with that over your life.
However it shows up for you that you have no control, you can regain your control.
If it is overeating, habitual upset, drinking, entertainment, pleasure seeking behavior, excitement seeking, or simply trying to get to the result without doing the work, you will see what to do… and then you’ll have a choice.
You’ll either do it or you won’t.
Students of mine who are already practicing taking back their lives from the mechanism are also raising their TLB score… slowly but surely.
Because that score tells me the truth, while they could be lying about their actions…
The discomfort, if you wanted to give it language, says: there is something wrong here.
In nature discomfort is part of the early warning signals your body experiences when there is danger. In nature…
If you were a rabbit… some noise, some smell, some shadow moving over you… some sixth sense… so you prepare yourself to run, and then run.
Simple, and useful. Functional.
But with people living on the Tree of Life, and with activities far more numerous and far more complicated than the rabbit’s, discomfort is largely a thought form, a though energy, a result of our brain being able to have future.
Animals have no future sense… they always live in the now moment… and they only do what they were programmed to do through thousands of generations of evolution.
But the human animal can see future, can see how it is supposed to be, can see being there… and everything else can show up as wrong.
For a human with a low TLB everything shows up as wrong. Things, people, themselves are not the way they are supposed to be.
There is something wrong here and it needs to be fixed… one way or another…
The result is frustration, that results in anger, jumping around, or depression.
Frustration is the operative word…
Frustration is when you can see your target but there is something in the way… time, a wall, a person, effort.
Even animals get frustrated… but they only get frustrated when they see the object of their desire… while humans can imagine where they are “supposed” to be, what they are “supposed” to have…
So frustration can be said, is the underlying condition of human misery.
Your misery, and my misery. And yes, I can’t escape the human condition: it is natural, it comes from our big brain and its uniquely human function of showing us what is possible. The end picture.
Our brilliant brain can also show us the path to it… but, for the most part we are not interested.
The brain can jump, and we want to jump too. And we do… except most things worth having are not of the instant gratification type.
So we just enjoy the jumping… that pleasure of jumping is exciting, and we can get addicted to it.
Buying something that promises instant beauty, instant enlightenment, instant intelligence, instant health, instant slim body, instant success, instant riches, is instant pleasure.
Fast cars, fast women
Fast anything… fast computer, fast smart phone, fast browsing, fast answers, fast fast fast.
Life is slow and methodical… annoying. frustrating. a drag.
But the world of the fast stuff is imaginary, and the results are imaginary too… No fulfillment, nothing earned, nothing gained.
It is hard to see that at the root of it is your inability and unwillingness to be with the tension between the idea of something and the reality of it.
Every fiber of your being says: there is something wrong here. And depending you your TLB score, you take a split second, or a few seconds, and you are out of there.
The higher your health number, the higher your hydration number, the longer you can hang out with the discomfort…
The name of the discomfort is frustration. A tension in the body… ready to run… like our bunny rabbit.
Your frontal cortex shuts down… all blood goes to the limbs so you can run better. Not kidding… this is the cause of ADD… the effect where the frontal cortex shuts down.
And you do it all day, every day, because you have no idea that what is underneath it is this mental leap: there is something wrong here and it needs to be fixed.
- The truth is: there is nothing ever wrong. things are the way they are.
- Things take time, expertise, work to go from one state to the next.
- People will always look at life through their self interest, not just you.
- Your health will always be the result of your lifestyle choices.
- And you need your frontal cortex to work to see clearly, to be organized, to see yourself through anything.
So if there is something important to do it is to learn to stop the frustration and prevent the bolting.
In my experience two statements seem to be working:
- 1. There is nothing wrong here, there is nothing to fix
- 2. There is never any hurry on the creative plane
I personally use both, and clients and students who are aware enough to catch that their frustration is theirs use both as well.
What happens when the words sink in, the alert state disappears and the person can think. The person can see. The person can see the process. And results start happening.
Now, I have to say a few words about the times when one cannot see that the frustration is the cause, not what happened or what is happening.
This is as important as being able to say: there is nothing wrong here…
In the course I am currently running, From Upset to Communication, we go through a lot of different ways to look at upsets so they can dissolve. Disappear.
What makes an upset disappear is the act of owning one’s own actions and attitudes as cause.
Some people are better at it than others. Unfortunately this needs one to be well and well-hydrated as well.
The students who are upset the most are also the students who can’t get their hydration and health number off the ground.
I haven’t penetrated the mystery of the mischief… yet.
I have found that listening to the Energizer audio does increase a person’s coherence. Coherence is the opposite of frustration.
Ownership, or a more popular expression, responsibility, is a very high state… high coherence. High calm. A high vantage point to look from.
Impossible to get there when your body is not coherent, when your cells are not hydrated.
So for those of you who can’t energize your water, you can use the audios directly on your ears… It works. It’s tested. And it’s fast.
OK… and now we will get to an even deeper layer of this phenomenon… the inability or unwillingness to say “no”.
No to the excitement. No to the instant gratification. No to the pleasure. No to easy. No to unearned.
This is where it is clearest why the TLB score is most significant: the TLB score measures your ability to say No.
In the original Marshmallow experiment, where the young kids were told: one marshmallow now, or two marshmallows when the experimenter comes back, the child’s ability to say “no” to the one marshmallow, was the key.
I am noticing that areas of my life where I am not successful are all areas where I am weak at saying no.
Like my weight. I have been unwilling to say no to drinking cup after cup of tea with something to whiten it with in it.
I find it near impossible to say no… even though saying no is so simple. You say no, and you say it every time the thought comes up. But just the thought of saying now makes my body tense, my thinking fuzzy, and be in high alert.
And that with a TLB score of 60…
And as long as I don’t say “no” to the few things I haven’t said “no” to, I will be still kept from the good life… because an “almost” good life is NOT the good life.
You may find yourself not saying no to most things comfortable. To doing things your way. To having the friendships that don’t serve your declared purposes. To indulging… in anything… really.
- To hoping that the results won’t take work.
- To making others wrong for your lack of results.
- To making yourself wrong for your lack of results.
- To making life, god, your parents, your childhood, your ex husband, your upbringing wrong for your lack of results.
One thing at a time. The list is finite.
I will say no to “whitened” tea today three times. Or alternatively, I’ll say no to being the same weight I was when I came to this country… Both are OK. Both will eliminate the frustration.
Because who cares how much I weigh at 70. I sure don’t… lol.
I am already light on my feet… how do I know? My feet shrunk more than an inch in length… very obvious.
PS: I teach all this and more in the course: From Upset to Communication.
You cannot be in the course, because it is already going, and it is a workshop format: I can only have seven people in a workshop or someone will fall through the cracks.
But you can get access to the recordings. For a limited time I’ll give a 50% discount… that is I’ll let you have it for $100.
Don’t dilly dally… limited time is limited time. Send me an email, and I’ll send you the link to pay…
You need this more than I need your money… guaranteed.
Because what is possible for you? The end of a life of frustration? What is it worth?
Had I known what I know now, and someone would have offered to teach me, I would have given them all the money I gave, for example, to Peak Potentials. And all the money I gave Pam Ragland, and the Kabbalah Centre, and to the Healing Codes people.
And I would have been able to have what I have now ten-fifteen years ago.
Oh well, let’s not cry over spilled milk. lol.
But for you? Unless, of course, you prefer to live a life of frustration.