Do you matter? Does your life matter? What is the most important skill to learn so your life will matter?

act as if your life matters so that it does

Mattering is a feeling. Nothing matters and everything matters. But if you don't feel you matter, if you don't feel your life matters, then you'll live consistent with that...

Some mornings it is hard to write an article.

Ultimately, when I examine the possible causes, I find that I am scattered. My attention flitters, and it is looking for more reasons to flitter (flitting from one thing to another. Move quickly in an apparently random or purposeless manner).

I am sure you recognize yourself.

It happens to me once maybe every two-three months...

I tell you what it feels like: it feels like I have so much to say. To so many people... It masquerades as a rich life, but the truth is it is surface, and it produces no dent in the world: it makes absolutely no difference.

If this is where you spend most of your life, I guarantee you that your life doesn't amount to much.

And because the core desire of any human is to matter, to have their lives matter, living life in a way that makes you not matter is a horrible price to pay for fleeing pleasures, like browsing, like watching tons of videos, or being on social media.

It begins with a thought of "I did that" or "I discovered that" or "I found out, I realized..." some exciting thing.

For me, this morning, it began in a conversation I had yesterday with a student of mine, where I mistakenly suggested that he starts to do a 10-15 minute sit eyes closed to re-orient himself to look at what people want, what people need.

It was a mistake, as my results show, distraction. I hope he'll read this article, and get back to me... fast, before he gets hooked on being distracted... again.

Like I got hooked for half a day.

I have a lot of experiments going on at any one time, but in the normal course of events, they don't get messy, they are plates that are quietly spinning and get a minute, two or ten energy injection every day.

  • Like the invisible mites project that is on the verge of a breakthrough. Two years... but the breakthrough is imminent.
  • Like restoring myself to a higher level of health than I have had in my twenty's.
  • Like the communication course I am working on.
  • Like the puzzle of my living conditions where my landlord is unwilling to fix the roof... and what it is I can do about it.
  • Like some people ask for a payment link of my Sunday Rant... and then do nothing... hm.
  • Like refocusing my activities so I return to being effective.
  • Like my sites getting attacked every 2-3 weeks...

And on and on and on.

And some desire traps of my own... a stone grinding machine... that makes hemp butter... But I don't need it. Or an Amazon Echo Show... I don't need it... but I want it.

The art is to be able to take care of the necessary, the elements that will result in a life worth living, and have room, tolerance, and limits on the desire traps that will prevent you/me from living a life worth living, if they get out of hand.

In Daniel Amen's book, Change your brain, change your life, the two brain issues that plague my students are the ADD type inability to focus their attention, and the type where they get stuck in one mode and can't shift out of it.

The art is to not go too deep, and not stay too close to the surface.

The art is to be able to shift in and out of "plates" so all of life can be attended to.

I say it's an art, because it needs to be graceful, and it needs to be learned.

Without spending larger chunks of time absorbed in what you are doing, you'll never get anything worthwhile done.
Without being able to shift out and move to another topic, you'll suffer two consequences:

  • you'll never see if what you are doing is actually going in the right direction for you
  • you'll never get all your plates spinning... so you can have a life that works on all four cylinders.

Before you start a new plate, look if it is worth the time and the effort.

For example I started a Facebook group on the Keto diet... I now have 140 or so members, and am starting to see that I can derive no benefit for my WHOLE LIFE from running it.

The question is always: is it (in life) where you want to move your WHOLE LIFE?

Many opportunities, money, social, information, business... are not moving your WHOLE LIFE, and therefore they are distractions: they use up energy that could be used to move your WHOLE LIFE towards the good life.

I experiment a lot, but I don't undertake experiments past the point where I see that they don't align with my whole life purpose.

It takes practice to say a calm and firm "no" to a pet experiment.

There are no failed experiments, only experiments that don't align and therefore are stopped, or experiments that are run too long... where you went unconscious.

The most missing capacity is this ability to shift, consciously, purposefully, and alternatively look if you are on the right track, or change topics.

I used to have a list: "what to do when there is nothing to do." Today the list is:

  • I have duolingo, (I am also considering contributing to the Hungarian language section... [/note]
  • I have walking/stair climbing,
  • I have the 67 steps,
  • I have attending to my websites,
  • I have staying in touch with the tiny circle of people I want to stay in touch with.
  • Looking out the window and resting my eyes on the trees, the sky, the birds.
  • Reading the book I am reading while resting
  • Watching a Netflix series I am currently watching: recreation
  • This in addition to writing articles, and attending to my clients and students and associated tasks.

Well thought through activities. They are plates... or balls... by the way. They are keeping me sharp, and they keep helping me move my life forward. Keeping them spinning and injecting energy in their spinning is what moves my life forward.

An unexamined life is a life that is not moving to where you want to move your life to. Your WHOLE LIFE.

It's a scale. 1-100...

Without being able to spin multiple plates, your life will NEVER move, and you will never experience that you matter, that your life matters.

And that is not a good life... so don't get stuck there.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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