What is the opposite of reaction; is it response? Is it pro-active? Prepare to be surprised...
Gurus and even psychologists give lip service to not being reactive.
They say it's the ego's way to take over your life. They suggest that you respond. They don't know what they are talking about, and you, the client, suffer as a result.
I had a day from hell yesterday, and I have a day from hell today. Great times to test out some stuff, don't you think? I bet you didn't, but of course, you think that you must do something about everything, answer everything anyone says, etc.
I had a year's worth of stuff erased on one of my servers (I moonlight as a webmaster) and the losses are around 60-70K. If I just wanted to restore one site, it would cost me, personally, about 300 hours of work, and to my assistant, another 300.
You can see, that this situation is a great one to test reacting, response, and what would work.
Let's look at this issue scientifically, meaning, let's actually look long enough so that we can see something. I know you are not in the habit of doing that, so you will have to practice that with me, and instead of skipping down to my conclusion, lol... just hang with me, ok?
Your life is the way it is, because of reaction,
i.e. because of the reactive nature of humans. Yours, your parents', your peers', your teachers', your governments', your ancestors' reactive nature.
Reactive nature simply means: trying to do the right thing that is triggered by something... The something can be good or bad. You are born not because your parents carefully planned that you, I mean YOU should be born, but because one or both of them were reacting to their urges... a total inability to just have the urges, they acted on them.
You were brought up through a series of reactions: you are a victim of the Parental Disapproval Syndrome, Societal Disapproval Syndrome... and you reacted to that disapproval by trying to become someone they approve of... at the expense of your Real Self.
And, of course, you never did anything that was an action, you have only been reacting, even if there are exceptions, though I doubt you have many, really.
Reacting is a result of the mind thinking that it knows.
That thinking is always false: the mind actually never knows anything correctly: it is a computer, and it behaves as if what happened yesterday has any relevance to what happened today. It doesn't.
It pretends that everything there is to know is already known and IT, the mind, knows it. It has no doubt. So it tells you what to do, how to fix what's wrong, how to make what's good even better.
You are jerked around by your mind, and you are just a puppet, a hand, a mouth, a pair of legs... slave to a computer you call your mind.
No one ever told you, or taught you to just sit, and do nothing, until the thing that you need to do becomes clear to you because you have all the facts. To wait until you are clear. Or until the thing that you need to do is clear, because it will add more clear facts to what you already have, or check the facts, or put the facts in an easier to see format.
No, no one told you it's OK to wait
...and they look at it with unkind eyes... after all misery loves company.
So, how do I do it? How do I NOT get into the "I know what to do, I know how to fix it, I will just do it now!" mode...
For your information, I needed to learn it too... I am a normal human being, just like you. I have just done more work on myself than you have, and have come further as a result. I am sharing what it is that I do... My activators, (the audios that I recorded while entering the Avatar State, a really high energy connection that generates an energy donut as big as the Universe) will make your work easier: you will have energetic guidance, (and if you are smart enough, your activator coaching, my personal guidance) will take you to a place that is as high as you can get, a place from where you see more to base your decisions on.
No matter when you check on me, I am looking from my consciousness, which is the Witness, the Observer. The Witness is not in the body, not in the mind, but it can witness both. And, of course, witness what is going on outside of the body. In simple terms, what's happening.
The cone of vision of the Witness is at least 180 degrees, though I often notice that it knows what's happening behind me... so probably 360 degrees in all directions.
You have a Witness, an Observer, but you don't identify yourself with it.
The key is the identification. It has two steps: dis-identification, and then identification.
At present you identify yourself with your mind, your emotions, your body, your personality, and in those positions (identification means simply that you are standing in that position! that you are looking from there!) you only see a tiny segment of reality, and even that is skewed according to the position where you are standing.
Just like the generals of a war don't sit in a tank, on the battle field, but sit someplace where they can see all the fields of battle at the same time, when you stand in the Witness position, you can see the whole, all the battles you fight, the future you are committed to, even others' intentions, how you are heard, what your body is doing, your emotions, your mind, your ego, your subconscious even.
The Witness is never in a hurry.
It never suggests that you do anything until it has all the facts. And sometimes all the facts suggest doing nothing.
When you ruminate about stuff, you are not in Witness. When you try to change what you feel, or you suffer about it, you are not in Witness.
You know you are in Witness because the world seems to slow down.
It is easier to be in Witness when you take yourself out of the hubbub of life, and in the beginning it may be necessary, even for just a few moments.
I used to use my bathroom breaks to center myself in Witness, so when I returned to chaos, it was around me not in me. I was like the eye of the storm: nothing was moving in me... only around me.
From the outside you look lazy. You look like you are a dreamer. You look like you are playing games. You look like a good for nothing bum.
I am serious. But when you act, it will be the right action. Not acting is often the best action. No matter what the mind says.
Not acting is not procrastination.
Procrastination is having all the information but being afraid to take a step, postponing it.
Not acting is not doing what the mind finds soooo important, sooo urgent to do that it pushes aside everything else as unimportant, and makes you do unimportant, irrelevant, stupid stuff...
Especially when you look at following your heart. Your real calling. Your real passion.
But in the urgency the mind promotes, you can never get in touch with what's important to you, what is it that you should use your life for.
That is how to be non-reactive... Counter-intuitive, isn't it? There are two activators that directly address this: the Priorities activator, and the Commitment and Consistency.
You can get either at https://www.yourvibration.com/avatar-state-audios
PS: Although I like the Serenity Prayer, the part where it says: the courage to change the things you can... is not precise... there are a lot of things you can change, but they are not worth your time. Especially when the changing is a reaction... and it almost always is. So be careful. The Serenity activator helps you chill, instead of go around changing stuff... Remember, the solution is always the next, bigger problem. Always. No matter what scale you look at it. It's almost easier to see on a global scale, or about diseases... the medication kills more people than the disease.