This word, trust, has been coming up disproportionately too often, in conversations with my students. I consider that guidance, so let me start exploring trust: what it is, what it isn’t, and how to deal with lack of trust, or different forms of distrust.
I had a great opportunity to observe myself today. My website host shut down my site for a reason of their own. A year ago that was a daily occurrence, but this was a first since.
First I sent them an email asking them to restore the site. Waited 20 minutes, then got on instant chat. I was seething inside, and was formulating defiant answers to their “inevitable” demands, their “despotic” control, and I formulated threats in my mind.
I was watching this drama unfold in my mind, with great curiosity. I didn’t get involved, I was watching from the “Observer” position. I asked the angry mind to just hang in there, and see what will happen. Wait and see…
The issue resolved itself, at least temporarily, without me saying anything, good or bad.
So, you ask, how is this relevant in a “trust” article. I’ll tell you: the way we have trust is an incorrect use of the word: we have no idea what trust is, because it hasn’t been distinguished, and the media, parents, school, society is using it for everything and their opposite.
In the above story I was standing in a personal belief that confrontation is inevitable, that violence, abuse, with me ending up defeated, powerless, devastated, and beaten to a pulp is not only a probability: it is certain. No evidence to the contrary is ever proof to my prejudiced mind: fate is just delayed, or this was just an exception, a fluke, an accident, a flaw in the “system.”
Obviously you should not call that “trust” because it isn’t.
I assert that it isn’t. God is a belief, something that cannot be proven and cannot be disproved. If you believe that there is god, then no amount of proof to the contrary will convince you: you’ll be like me about violence: you are certain, in spite of overwhelming proof that you are mistaken. Doubt is the shadow side of belief, and they always come in pairs. Doubt is never associated with trust.
So, if trust is not the same as belief, then what is it?
I am no expert… but let’s consider that trust is a conditional offering in an agreement.
When you do a business transaction, you do it on the basis of trust. You hand over your money, and expect what you paid for to be delivered, in good condition. If it isn’t, you have means to get your money back: annul the deal, and you are good to go. You have an agreement that includes what the procedure is if the product you bought is disappointing, or isn’t delivered.
In lack of an agreement, there is no trust, there is only belief. Most of your relationships are based on beliefs and not agreements: your relationship with your children or your parents, your significant other… no agreement, just blind belief that the other person will give you what you think they should… except that they never promised, never agreed, and they probably won’t deliver: you live in permanent disappointment.
You feel betrayed, you feel used, you feel not taken care of. You never consider that the fault lies with you: you went into a relationship without an agreement… assuming what they were going to do. Same as with “god”… “god” is good, blah blah blah… a horrible life ensues.
Another way to define trust is “calculated risk.” And also “managed risk.” Both are open-eye phenomena.
You put wood in the fireplace on the basis of trust that the fireplace will give you heat once you light the fire. If the fireplace doesn’t, no ventilation, no oxygen, etc. You won’t give it any more wood. You find another way to make heat… calculated risk and managed risk… you only lost a few logs of wood.
Trust, thus, is an advance of sort. You keep your eyes open, you check if what you two agreed will go as agreed or not. You start small, you don’t bet your home on a risky proposition. You don’t fall for shiny objects. You don’t fall for push-button riches. You don’t fall for promises that can’t be kept. You don’t behave like a hypnotized child.
Trust is an “open eye” transaction. Belief is a “closed eye” transaction.
Trust is not available to you if you are not awake, if you are not aware, if you are unable to get outside of your greed, your wish, your fantasies, your prejudiced mind.
Trust is a senior distinction: your vibration needs to be at least 280 to be able to have trust. Under that vibrational level you’ll have beliefs. Blind beliefs. And bitter disappointments. The guy won’t marry you. The shiny object won’t make you rich. The webinar won’t raise your vibration to love or above… Can you hear how ridiculous belief is?
Most car accidents are cause by people with beliefs. They believe that they are safe… they don’t look, they don’t learn to drive, they are over-cautious, they are a risk to safety.
I have a “blind belief.” A blind belief in torture, injustice, and being beaten to a pulp. When I wasn’t able to dissociate my Self from it, I was miserable more often than not.
Today I have strong capacity to trust. Meaning: keep my eyes open, and test, test, test… except when it comes to situations when I can be abused, mistreated, robbed, betrayed, cheated, stiffed… Then the “belief machine” kicks in, and unless I can retreat to the Witness position, it gets the best of me.
My student said: “You, Sophie, trust that you connect, that your muscle-tests are accurate, that your energies work, that the activators work.” True: I check them and check them, and check them. As long as the tests are consistent, I am golden. But I won’t stop testing. Because I trust.
In this work to raise your vibration, results is where you find the proof. If your results are not happening, you are not connecting, not doing the right thing, misunderstanding something…
Your job is to keep your eyes open, and correct and correct and correct. But don’t believe… belief is for children.
You may want to look: do you have a trust issue or do you have a belief issue? Comment below…