True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less. Wrote Rick Warren in The Purpose-Driven Life, where it appears as part of Day 19, “Cultivating Community.” 1
When you have “thinking of yourself” block or filter what you are looking at, you end up in a small box that is all about you.
There is no joy there.
I just finished my Sunday call… unfortunately I forgot to turn on the recorder… it was all about this principle, about how different people have a different amount of time spent thinking of themselves, and how the amount of misery they experience differs, very consistently, accordingly.
Different soul corrections place different amount of emphasis on “it is all about you”, so each of us gets a different start in life… some are more about it than others.
My soul correction, Forget Thyself, is the one that is almost entirely about that soul correction: think of yourself less and think of others, or other things more.
My original misery, 32 years ago, vibration 35, was all due to that: it was all about me. And it was hell.
I haven’t been able to get a grasp of what I did that worked to lift me out of that hell… but I am going to spend time to dig deep, and maybe document my life by the milestones of how much of it was about me or not about me.
I don’t know how long it will take, but it will be done. Promise.
When I look at my students through this principle, through this distinction, I can tell the connection between their vibration, their accomplishments and the number that represents the percentage of time they think of yourself instead of what is in front of them.
My most accomplished student looks at the world through what he wants, what he needs, what it says about him 10% of the time. When he came to me the number was 60%.
After I read and re-read the book How to win friends and influence people, I have decided to look at a dog and model my behavior after him.
A dog is not about himself at any one time. The reason dogs are humans’ best friend is because the dog is not judgmental, the dog isn’t comparing himself to you, the dog is not in it to get something: it is, by nature, happy to see you.
The filter of “it is about me” makes joy at seeing another impossible.
Now, let me go a little deeper… under the hood, if you are willing to come with me.
I wrote an article about lying the other day, and one of my students has been working on that ever since, and he is doing a good job… albeit not pleasant.
One of the things I had to overcome over the years is my tendency to embellish. Embellish my role in stories, embellish my accomplishments.
Why? Because I was thinking less of myself, instead of thinking of myself less.
I hoped that people would love me, like me, trust me, respect me.
But, of course, the opposite was happening… the more they resisted liking me the more I was self-righteous in my indignation…
I never thought my lying had anything to do with anything… they were innocent lies.
But, you see, no lie is innocent. When you lie you are all about what you can get, which means you are not there for anyone… because you can’t.
And if everything you ever wanted is coming to you from other people, then not being there for them is a sure way to get nothing or not much in life.
People know if you are about yourself or not.
But what about shysters? What about marketeers? What about politicians?
Those “operators” are masterful in making you be about yourself, and not care if they are about themselves… Because greed has now reigns supreme in you.
When you are possessed by greed, you can’t listen well, because you are possessed.
When you are possessed by greed, you only think of yourself… And you are eminently dupable… stupid… delusional in your actions and choices.
All training marketeers, politicians, gurus need is to learn how to push your greed button, and they have it made.
I tested Tai Lopez back in 2014 when he recorded the 67 steps and today.
In 2014 his “I am thinking of myself” score was 30%. Today, 2017, the score is 70%. This number is typical for marketeers… they say you can do X, even though you can’t… or they can’t tell.
One of my favorite principles is “If you don’t have it in your head, you have to have it in your heel”
If what the marketeer says can be done, the X, requires knowledge before it can be done, then unless you do a lot of work (the heel) you won’t get the same result.
I have been watching this, and it is very consistent. They don’t tell you want you need to have in your head… and they don’t teach you want would substitute for the knowledge, what you would have to do to catch up… the heel.
So the best a guru, a marketer, a teach can expect from their program is 1% result.
Because you don’t have it in your head, you have to have it in your heel… but life is not as simple as walking back to the barn and fetch an item you forgot, life, business, is a lot more complicated than that. Tai’s example in his 67 step shows his limited interpretation of the step.
I have decided to add a layer of difficulty to doing the 67 steps: The student needs to hear the principle in the step, and start their post to me with the principle. Verbatim.
A principle is only a principle if it has stood the test of time. If it is true across the board.
When you look at your life, at your thinking, at your attitude, at your behavior through principles you want to adopt, your life can change, and it can change fast.
When I got lucky, and MY COACH told me that I was a liar and a gossip, I could use it to become a truth teller and someone who doesn’t talk about other people maliciously.
Was it worth it?
I don’t think there was anything that has given me more that those two.
And dropping comparing… another proven cause of misery, competing, arguing, wanting to be right… Thinking of myself less…
I took myself out of my conversation. Out of my business. Out of my life… And replaced the concern for myself with concern for principles of growth and fairness.
I am moved my what I have accomplished. It is a celebration of principles… and I am weeping.
This is what I want for you too. To become someone whose life brings tears into your eyes.
- Here is another quote, maybe easier to digest: C.S. Lewis wrote: Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call ‘humble’ nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.
If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realise that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed