In another blogpost on another blog I wrote about my last two years vs. my last four months "history".
What I didn't say in THAT blogpost on my recession blog, because it is ALL spiritual, is what happened in the last two weeks. It's amazing, and it is probably the most important lesson one can learn about causing one's life. (You may also want to refer back to my Live abundantly article
OK, here you go, here it goes.
Two years ago I bought a new laptop computer and gave my old one to my Kabbalah teacher, Naomi. It was a good computer, given from the heart.
A year ago I bought another laptop, but this time I held onto my now old one. But about six weeks ago Naomi told me that the old laptop was losing its monitor... it was slowly going blind. "OK," I said, "I'll give you my other laptop."
I regretted saying that, the moment I said it. I need it, I want it... but then I watched myself not even touching it... it just sits there. "OK, I'll clean it."
Two weeks ago Naomi mentioned the computer again. "Don't worry" I said "I just need to find time to clean it up for you. You know removing my stuff, restoring it to a new condition. OK?"
But cleaning a computer up takes two days, and I have been working 14-16 hours every day. I didn't want to spend two days with that. So on the 20th of last month I had the thought that if I could get the money, I would rather not spend two days cleaning up that computer, I would just buy Naomi a new one. So I said, out loud :-). "Light, could I please have the money instead of having to clean that computer up? Please?"
Ten minutes later the phone rang and an unexpected order for 380 dollars was placed. 100% profit. OK, I said, half the price of a new computer... Light, can I please have the other half?
On the 24th I shared what had happened with Naomi. She said, "maybe what you have is enough for a new computer." I looked up on Tigerdirect, and she was right. I found a good and cute laptop for less than $400.
Naomi and I finished our session and I went back to Tigerdirect. Now I was really confronted. I have always wanted a cute little computer like that, with Windows XP (that I like). "I want one for me." nagged at me. "Maybe I give her my old computer..." I was sitting in front of the computer for what seemed an eternity, then I picked up the phone, and placed the order. With shipping it came to 396 dollars.
So, this is what I did.
That night I didn't get tired, so I went to sleep rather late. Next morning I woke up, and I wasn't tired. (I had been tired every morning, for many years...)
I had a great day... even though I got a nasty email from a customer. But I managed to restrict my urge to be nasty back, and she wrote back a nice note of appreciation. Wow.
I watched my face in the mirror, and I was getting prettier every day.
My thoughts about myself were something like "Hey, I am something. I am an amazing human being."
In the last two days I've written 12 articles. I felt and behaved unstoppable. It's early to say, but I say it will continue.
And when your behavior and your mindset is inspired, the other goodies, like money, fame and fortune will follow. You don't have to worry about them.
OK, so this is what actually happened. Big deal, you could say, but you would be wrong. It is a big deal.
Why? Because I have distinguished an important spiritual law.
This is how it works: You create an action that requires you to restrict your egoistic inclination. You do it from the correct mindset: you do it to create light for yourself.
You don't turn it into an ego trip, you don't brag about it. This is important. It would stop the process cold right here.
You listen to the stirrings of the soul, the whisperings. If you can hear it, it says something nice about you. You express and feel gratitude for that. You listen for suggestions for an inspired action. When you hear one, you act on it, and express and feel gratitude.
All the while you are staying conscious that you do none of the actions for do-gooding purposes (very important), you are doing it to earn light. Spiritual Greed, or Enlightened Greed, as the Rav calls it. Do-gooding comes from Satan, comes from Ego.
You continue this way: listen for suggestions for inspired action, act, and express gratitude.
Don't worry, the Light will help you along the way. Now you are working together.
There is no mountain that you can't scale that way. There is no rock that you can't push to the top of the mountain this way without it every rolling back to the bottom again.* In spite of all the temptation, every step of the way.
So this was the teaching. But the benefits did not stop there.
Another major fall out being able to answer my forever unanswerable question that I'd asked since 1966 when I first went to Architecture School. You see, I only want to do something that I can be really good at, who would want to be mediocre. Not me, thank you. So the question I asked: "Am I talented?"
Unfortunately, until today, I could not answer that question for myself. What everybody else said didn't matter.
But after this revelation about how it works with the Light, I now have an answer to that question.
You see, architects are taught (in Hungary) in a one-on-one tutoring environment.
You see your teacher three times a week, for five months. That is the length of a normal project.
You put something on paper at home, and bring it in. The teacher puts transparent sketching paper on top of it, and starts working with what you had done. And talks, talks, talks.
You take his sketch home, and put it on paper adding your thoughts and ideas to it. You bring it back two days later. And it goes like that until the plan is done. Then you get a grade. And if your grade is good, and mine were all A's, then you wonder if you did it or he did it, and if you are talented or your teacher is.
But just like in the above story with the computer: the Light (teacher) did not take the first step, I did. And the first step takes the most courage, because you can be all wrong. Then the Light (teacher) adds to it what he adds to it, and you take it home, and you have a choice to be courageous again or not. To act on the Light's suggestion or not. To be slavish or to add your own brilliance and risk being wrong.
So I got that I was very talented, and it was a pleasure for the Light to work with me.
And I can keep it this way. And if/when, for whatever reason I drop the ball, now I know how to start the process again. The ball never rolls back again to the bottom of the hill. Because now I am not clueless like most of humanity.
And if you've read this far, you are not either... If anything is not clear, please don't hesitate using the comment form to ask for clarification. Please.
* I am referring to the myth of Sisyphus in Greek Mythology.