Your tendency is to remember the story. Not what happened but your story. And to tell the story in a predictable manner... always the same way, always showing you in the same role, the same exact way.
A story is a narrative of reality. It talks from one particular vantage point, and therefore it is distorted. Always. Inherently so.
Your tendency is to remember the story in a way that agrees with your soul correction.
Soul correction, it could be said, is this slant of reality that lets you get away with murder, lies, laziness, blaming, simply said: being less than giving your best.
My story can be summed up with three elements: a hero succeeding in the face of incredible odds, and also complaining: "no matter what I do... I can't this or that". And the third: I don't know if I can trust myself.
Almost succeeding, but never doing things long enough, hard enough, to actually succeed. Why? Because it would kill the story.
Also, I need enemies. I need disease. I need bugs... to fight heroically and almost succeed.
There are ways to "trick" the black hole, first of those "tricks" is this awareness. The awareness of the story you to perpetuate.
I've noticed: I dropped almost all the weight I intended to drop, only for my weight to start rising again. I wrecked my brain all morning to figure out what it is I am doing that is reversing the weight loss process. It is very subtle.
The second way to "trick" the black hole is the success journal I advocated the other day.
Most people use journaling to strengthen the story. But you can deliberately change the pattern, and instead pay attention to the outliers, the actions that you did, steps that can lift you out of your story. Not big successes, tiny ones... The real "trick" is to tread lightly. If you read the Mind Parasites, you know what I am talking about. Tread lightly so you don't alert the black hole, aka Mind Parasites, to your escape.
And, for me, the third "trick" I have found is that teaming up with someone whose story is not mine, is a reliable way to get outside of my story and gather momentum to leave the gravitational field of the black hole.
Teaming up, working side by side. Trench mates. Fighting the good fight against the human condition, against the predictable outcome. Together.
What you need is a tangential force to take you out of the black hole that your life story is.
What do I mean by black hole? It is like a vortex that sucks everything and everyone in it, and there is, seemingly, no escape. We are in hurricane season... the hurricane is a vortex.
- You generate the vortex and you are also the victim of it.
- You assign role to people to help you perpetuate the vortex.
- When they escape, you are heartbroken, right Kate? and i could say the name of all the people who used to be students...
With students: When I don't get sucked into your vortex, you quit, of I let you go.
Without knowing what is your "game", escape is impossible, resistance is futile.
Your story is like the Earth's mass for you: it's taken an awful lot of history for humanity to come up with enough science to invent something that can go fast enough to escape the Earth's gravitational pull.
This whole article was triggered by Miko's comment on his new budding habit of writing down his successes before he goes to bed at night.
That new habit with awareness of the nature of the black hole and what habits strengthen it can be enough for him to beat his story... His challenge is to tell the truth instead of making airs.
I recently upset one of my students who thought that he was doing great and I was in the "bag"... in his black hole.
We all live a double life: one persona fails us by perpetuating the story, the other persona wants to escape the predictable.
The two personas know about each other, so it is not like you are a split personality. It's more like a see-saw...
For most people the balance of power has been decided, and the part of them that wants to grow and live a good life is near weightless... A lightweight.
Our work together is to strengthen the part of you that wants to grow, wants to evolve, and starve the heavyweight, sucking your life into the black hole part of you of ammunition and nourishment.
No one has ever completely escaped the black hole, but many people managed to live almost their whole life outside of it, where life is.
The starting point measurements says mighty little about the story.
Your Bach flower profile does tell the whole story.
There are 40 different dynamics in that system, and the combination shows your elements of your story. Your methods of staying inside your sob story.
I just did my own Bach profile... out of the 40 energies only one tested yes through muscle test: Gentian.
This essence encourages one to persevere, remain confident, and have the faith to continue despite apparent setbacks, doubts, or perception of failure. Gentian essence helps those discouraged and disheartened individuals shift perspective to see life's silver linings. This flower essence helps the soul to acquire great inner fortitude and unwavering trust in the outcome of life events.
One self is trying to escape the self doubt induced stupor, while the other is wallowing in self-pity, digging itself deeper.
I am unique in that I only have one of those energies active.
When I measure people, they are all over the place... some even has as many as 28 of the 40 energies test yes.
It shows one of two things: either they are an empath or a sensitive assuming that everything they feel is their own... or alternatively have a personality to making things foggy, so they can disappear and remain unaccountable in the fog of their own making.
Is it useful to get your Bach profile?
I really think so.
I used it as a growth device. I tackled each character flaw... I used to have Holly prominently in my profile. Holly is hard-hearted... no compassion for another's suffering. It was hard, but I have overcome it.
Now, can you do this without help? I doubt it.
Every negative character trait you have has a self-justification, and you'll insist that you need it. Or that you can't help it.
In my experience, compassionate support can be really the difference between being stuck in old patterns and taking flight and starting to enjoy life.
But it all begins with the awareness.
You can't catch what you can't see. Can you? Go see the whole article with all the Bach Energies here
This does not include analyzing your profile. Analyzing your profile, getting your whole story is the hardest thing I have ever tried. I only do it for people who are in my coaching programs, because I simply can't do it with muscle testing alone.
And even for coaching clients... it's very difficult. Why? Because you are hellbent on duping me too... And I am a human. Dupable.
I am slowly getting better at it, but really slowly.
But once I start seeing the edges of your story, I start devising practices for you to turn your oceanliner around... trimtabbing.
PS: I am in a phase where I am getting breakthrough insights. My Gentian persona, the one that lacks self-confidence, makes me stop in front of the bathroom mirror several times a day, and make me moan: "I really hope I won't turn out to be a crazy person..."
If it weren't happening to me, it would be really funny. Everyone thinks I am a crazy person... and maybe I am. But my stuff works... Go figure...
PS: Here is a TED talk by entrepreneur Tim Ferriss that made me weep...