Depending on your level of thinking, you can use this amazing empowering statement to make yourself stuck and miserable.
What would make you stuck? If your cone of vision is too narrow, if your ability to see the forest for the trees is weak, then you’ll get stuck.
If you live life like you are an island… and many of you do!, then you WILL GET STUCK.
I have quite a few examples, because this kind of inability to use your brain usefully is quite frequent.
The phenomenon “for you everything is the same as everything else, except that not always” is the story of your life… and you can’t even see it…
So, if you are a coaching client, and you tell me what you expect me to help you with… then you actually did use the “move” in the title… if it is to be, it is up to you to ask me and let me know what you expect me to do.
The “move” in the title doesn’t say: do what you cannot do, do what you cannot figure out, do what you have never seen done… and that this the only way. Does it?
But you cannot see that you made it mean that… can you?
Asking for what you need, what is inside the “job-description” or inside what another can do, is intelligent, and doing what you need to do to make things happen.
Example: It is 90 degrees in Syracuse, and my exercise class is from 1-2 pm. 90 degrees is 32 degrees Celsius.
I have an enlarged heart with a hole between the two chambers. Climbing the hill in 90 degrees can kill me. I muscle tested…
So I called for a ride. Today… for a ride tomorrow. So I don’t have to scramble tomorrow… to try to dig a well when I am already thirsty.
Hillel the Elder said: “If I am not for myself, who is? And when I am for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?”
Being for yourself sometimes means doing what you need to do, sometimes asking for what you need, and sometimes letting go.
Sometimes asking for guidance. Sometimes refusing to obey…
But being for yourself always involves using your brain to discern. To see clearly.
To know what is yours to do and what is not. To know what is in your best interest and what isn’t.
And, of course, it isn’t easy, even when you have good brain habits…
But it definitely isn’t going to be useful to just jump the gun… or do no thinking.
I have, mostly ex-clients, lol, who are too proud to ask for anything. Why wouldn’t they? If they acknowledged anyone in any way above them, that would damage their precious “I”…
These ex-clients are ex for this reason: you can’t get coaching without allowing someone to be above you.
It takes a big person to allow that, and a puny person to not…
So, often, the “if it is to be it is up to me” means: you need to consult someone who knows more than you do. Bummer, eh?
Your puny and sensitive “I” is weeping.
But it is a small price to pay for getting what you want.
Listen to the first 4 minutes of this talk… be prepared to cry… weep.