Why is this discrepancy?
Consider that what makes you unhappy is your Soul. The Soul that is at cross-purposes with the part of you that is the bodymind, the part of you that guides your behavior, thoughts, and attitudes.
It's been so maybe forever.
The Soul is the aspect of you that wants to become like God, that wants to become a Creator.
The bodymind only cares about receiving: receiving fun, pleasure, power over others, and being safe, being right, looking good. Some disciplines call it the ego... I won't... Calling it ego hasn't proved to be effective, because we have a limited perspective, a cookie cutter concept of ego, and that will limit what you'll see... so I'll call what defines you, what guides your actions, what gives you your attitudes the bodymind.
Yesterday, in a conversation with a student, I had a lightbulb moment: I realized that a "normal" person has no clue as to what ways they are deviating from the path of becoming like God, the path on which happiness lives, in what ways the bodymind keeps them stuck in misery. 1
I am totally "normal" in that I had to learn all the ways the bodymind drives me astray.
I remember when I was first confronted with that exact fact myself.
A coach told me that I lie by omission. (What?!) That I was a gossip. (What?!) It was the hardest thing: I needed to get a glimpse of what I could not see... like seeing the back of my head. It's easy with a mirror, but I still needed to be willing.
It took me years to see that she, the coach, was right. In spite all the justifications I had, I found that I did lie by omission and that -- in fact -- I was a gossip. I gossiped to make myself better than the person I badmouthed. And it took me more years to stop the behavior.
The second "lack" of godliness I was forced to confront was my totally "justified" unkindness. Justified because I was an abused child, blah blah blah. Justified because people are stupid. Justified because I was right and they were wrong.
It was painful. But at the same time it was freeing.
Since then I have gone deeper, seen layers of ungodliness and told the truth about them, publicly. And my vibration has been rising, steadily, ever since.
I've never stopped. If you read my articles, if you come to my calls, you'll see that I mercilessly tell the truth about my shortcomings. As soon as I catch them. Sometimes it takes months before I can see them. What clues me in is that life becomes bad, tasteless, and joy goes out of existence.
Then I go on the offensive, and start hunting for what I can't see. I have some great methods... I can teach you some.
That is what's unique about me, that I tell the truth about myself. That is what most people run from: if you tell the truth about you to someone who has a vested interest to maintain the status quo, they will run. But, what they don't realize, is that:
This is the work of the Soul, and therefore this is the work of a human that wants to become happy, fulfilled. Not just pretend to be that way.
Watch people's pictures: they smile, they laugh, they practice it in front of the mirror. It doesn't come from within...
A happy person is just happy. Joy has no smile, joy is an inner state, not a demonstration of something. The more people smile, the more their inner turbulence, their pretense is revealed. They have to smile, lest you'll see that their vibration is low, that they are a fake, that they, themselves don't have what they pretend to teach you.
Continued in part 2