What is the opposite of entitled?

what do I deserve?Every generation is more entitled than the previous one. Why? Let me explain...

If appreciative is the opposite of entitled... does that mean that all those people who are not appreciative are entitled?

Entitled 1 is a worldview. It is a ground-of-being phenomenon, invisible, like the floor. An unexamined truth. To you. But for the other, it is quite obvious... 2

So how do you know that you are not appreciative? that you are entitled?

This is how:

  • Even when you thank someone, they frown...
  • You may even be diligent in thanking someone, you may even feel a stab of thankfulness, but those thanks are the waves on the waters, not the bottom of the sea... The bottom of your sea is entitlement.

Appreciative, interestingly, is not visible. Appreciation is not a doing thing...

Moreover, appreciative sits right on top of humble, because unless you are humble, you don't even notice that you are getting, that you got something.

And as we have seen in another article, another inquiry, humility has something to do with how much you think of yourself, how much you have yourself the alpha and the omega of things.

Alpha is the beginning of the Greek alphabet. And Omega is the end of the Greek alphabet.

If the whole story is told from your particular vantage point, all of life, then you are all about yourself, and obviously cannot be humble, and consequently cannot be appreciative.

I am talking about being appreciative, the floor, not the appreciation of something, which is a moment, a blip on the screen of entitlement: "There is nothing to appreciate...  Much is missing, much is not given."

Which is now showing us to what is there when the floor is entitlement, not appreciation.

The attention, your attention, is on what isn't. 3

One common thing to observe is how much you smile when no one is looking.

Because "not appreciative" is 97% of all the people you meet, it is not easy to see... but once you get this, as a distinction, you'll start to see it everywhere. I recommend that you observe people with compassion instead of judgment... because...

The next way you know you are entitled is that you are judgmental.

A judgment is stating something as the opposite of how it should be.

The difference between an assessment and a judgment is that the assessment states a fact without saying that it is wrong, or it is unnatural.

You can say: You are entitled... and have nothing in the unsaid. No blame, no hard feelings. Just the fact.

Try it. You'll find that it is harder than it sounds. The harder it is to have no feeling about it the surer you can be that you have a standard and an ideal about how people should be, and their being entitled violates it.

Having standards and ideals is a foolproof sign that you are entitled yourself.

It's not that you feel entitled... It is that you ARE entitled.

You have that the world should be, that people should be, that work should be, that the weather should be, that government should be in a certain way. The right way. The way they are supposed to be.

But life, reality, don't agree. Things, people, work, the weather, the government should be the way they are.

What? Yes... I meant what I said. Things should be the way they are.

Why? Because they are that way.

You may have a better idea, and often you do.

But one thing is certain about people who are entitled: you'll give it voice, but you won't act.

Why? Because that would be inconsistent with the worldview you have, that things are supposed to be that way... whatever way you say they are supposed to be. 4

You are very vocal, and maybe you are even an activist. Or you sulk. Resent. Feel violated... But you won't do.

You even find that you cannot do. You attempt and it isn't happening...

Because it is near impossible to act against, counter to your ground of being. Because the entitled beingness says: they should do it, it should do it, they should change, it should change.

Every ex student, ex client, ex friend, ex lover I have ever had was entitled. They tried to change me so that I start doing what I am supposed to do, and of course, I did whatever I did, and it wasn't it.

I wasn't it. I wasn't the right one.

Although many really wanted what I had, or what I had to give, I wasn't doing it right. I wasn't right.

So they left.

Most people flock to "shooting fish in a barrel" businesses or topics.

In that situation their entitled worldview, that people want what they have, is confirmed. Just sell it better, if they are not buying enough.

In my business I am talking to, I am relevant to a tiny segment of the population who can appreciate being well, being aware, becoming an expanding human being.

The rest, to the degree that they are entitled, can't... and won't. 5

The whole culture we live in is based on entitlement. The floor... To the degree that you are entitled, you see everything through that, whether you are getting what is your due, whether people are doing the right thing so you can get what is your due. 6

It is clearest when you ask people to explain what the famous line means in the American Constitution: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness."

Every person will tell you their personal interpretation.

97% will come from entitlement and blame. Not from "I have the opportunity to work my ass off", or "rights don't mean facts... they are a permission to work towards what I want, by deserving what I want."

No.

The biggest plus on the Tai Lopez program is bringing this into awareness... "You have to deserve what you want." And once you deserve it, you also have to earn it.

No airy fairy sounding "I am a deserving person", or I am as good as the other, so why don't I have it. Blaming the rich, blaming the famous.

The idea that they need to work for it doesn't occur to the entitled, or it occurs as sound waves that are meaningless. Noise.

And what is terrifying is that we are talking about 97% of everyone. And the number is growing. You train your children to be entitled.

You cannot change other people, but you can change yourself.

That pesky number in your Starting Point Measurements, #11 gives your attitude away. The higher the number the less appreciative you are. The less you are willing to work. The less effort you are willing to invest to get what you want. 7

I have seen people's numbers change. Or swing back and forth.

Entitlement, the number, can creep back up unless you keep it checked. One of my students went from 60% to 90% and now doesn't talk to me... He is on his way out... Because now it is not worth it, because now I am not the right person, because now working for what he wants sounds like an ugly thing. He should just have what he wants, because it is his due. He deserves it...

Only when I look at people through this filter (entitlement) that I can understand their attitude, their behavior.

My biggest accomplishment is that I have managed to bring compassion to my view of people. The judgment is gone. The assessment is still there... but because of this compassion, because of my ability to feel compassion for them for what is missing, for what is off, this ability to see that life is actually horrible for them, allows me to have no judgment.

It also allows me to grieve a little less for not being appreciated. Seeing that you can't appreciate.

It still hurts... but it hurts without me having to blame you, without saying "you should appreciate me".

This, compassion, is the secret of that famous Holocaust survivor who isn't blaming the Nazis... Not publicly and not in her heart.

This is the secret of people who grew up abused and don't blame their parents or the abuser. Or the system. Or the color of their skin. Or whatever they could blame... They don't.

Being able to move out from behind your own eyeballs... And see the big picture. 8

In the big picture there are no should, no "supposed to", no right, and no wrong.

Just "is that way because it is that way"... the starting point of effective action. YOUR action. For what you want.

Prefer blaming? I get it. In essence you prefer to be miserable and right. Be my guest. Do it with my blessing.

 

Footnotes

  1. en·ti·tle·ment entitlement; plural noun: entitlements

    the fact of having a right to something.
    "full entitlement to fees and maintenance should be offered"
    synonyms: right, prerogative, claim; More
    permission, dispensation, privilege
    "their entitlement to benefits"
    the amount to which a person has a right.
    "annual leave entitlement"
    synonyms: right, prerogative, claim; More
    permission, dispensation, privilege
    "their entitlement to benefits"
    the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
    "no wonder your kids have a sense of entitlement"

  2. This is why the saying "an unexamined life is not worth living" is true... If you have no idea what makes you miserable, you can't do anything about it.
  3. By nature, my attention is on what is off... which is a version of that. That is the Virgo in my nature. We are all a combination of our soul correction and our Sun sign in the Zodiac. Very interesting to observe and track
  4. Gandhi was onto something when he said "Be the change you want in the world". What he didn't know, what he didn't say is that if you are entitled, you want the world to change, and give absolutely no consideration of yourself changing. Even if you see that you are not perfect.
  5. Entitlement, like everything else is not a black and white phenomenon, it is anywhere between zero and 100!
  6. The moment this "due" word pops us, you can be sure that entitlement is happening. In my family it was mainly my little brother who was the entitled one, always saying "I deserve" and "It is my due"... Only talks to someone when he wants something... I have made it clear that he has nothing due, so he hasn't spoken to me for two years, and doesn't intend to.

  7. The starting point measurements.
    1. your vibration (1-1000):
    2. your overall intelligence, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, body, relationship, etc.:
    3. the number of spiritual capacities you have:
    4. your soul correction (your machine): https://www.yourvibration.com/sc
    5. do you have attachments?
    6. the level of your health (1-100):
    7. the level of your cell hydration (1-100):
    8. your relationship to feedback and instruction:
    9. The level of discomfort you are willing to allow w/o trying to fix it. This is your TLB score...
    10. The size of your vocabulary: the number of words you can use accurately:
    11. To what degree you think of yourself:
    12. # of fixed mindset:
    13. Ambition:
    14. Desire:
    15. The degree of inauthenticity overall:
    16. Level of integrity 1-100:
    17. Recommendations:

    Get your measurements... it is very enlightening

  8. There are several capacities that need to be activated concurrently, the big picture capacity, the being able to move your vantage point capacity, the capacity of humility, and probably more I can't think of right now. If, in your starting point measurements, you have only one spiritual capacity active, you can be sure you are entitled... Sorry.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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