... if you are willing to look and see what is so about you and your life.
The truth. Naked. Ugly. Often shameful.
Here is a correspondence I had with a client today:
She said: "I'm interested in changing my context since it's part of what keeps me stuck."
"... answering the questions: what am I doing? Why am I doing it?
Unless you have done the work of identifying what you have been doing, and why you have been doing it, no way you can shift the context. You cannot catch what you can't see. And you cannot change what you can't catch."
To the degree you are able and willing to do that, to the same degree you can change your life. 1
In all my programs, in all my articles, with all my energy remedies I am working towards that: to enable you to see what you can't see.
In my call yesterday with a client I asked questions that were designed to make the client see something that was destroying our coach/client relationship.
I did not succeed. He didn't see it, not even at the end of the call.
Which really confirms my suspicion that we are, as a whole, schizophrenic. And maybe even multiple personality disordered. Or dissociate...
We "blatantly" ignore, or not see what is in front of us. We marry a person who we could know they will leave us, abuse us, beat us, but for some inner reason, we don't see it.
Then when the tragedy hits, and a therapist asks: did you see that... we look and now we see it.
And you are not lying either: one personality is blind to it. It doesn't fit in, so you don't see it.
The moocher doesn't see that she is mooching. The ungrateful person doesn't see that he is ungrateful. The excuse finder, explainer, justifier doesn't see that they are justifying.
Maddening for a coach, and deadly for you.
I have done plenty of stuff in my life I wasn't proud of at the time. I suppressed even seeing them... until I integrated.
Then they because: oh, A is A... f... it.
I have been watching all kinds of movies where educated, self-possessed women get pregnant. It never made much sense to me, but with this new angle to look from, my hunch is that these women's self-image doesn't agree with having sex. So the one who is having sex doesn't know about the other, and vice versa. 2
And some people have a taker persona and a "I pay for everything I get, or work for it..." persona... and they never suspect that the taker persona has taken over and is going to get them kicked out.
I used to think that it's pretending, but I now see that it is in fact a mental disease. Where you really have two standards that don't work together, and you had to split yourself in two.
In the beginning it may get worse.
When I first revealed the fact to my client, after some argument, and justification, and explanation, he seemingly took the facts... but today he regressed to a 3-year old who needs to explain everything...
It seems that different second persona was born, created at different ages, and more than one thing got stuck there.
One result of the integration, if succeeds, is that you'll be able to become an adult.
An adult sees the world differently. Sees his capacities, sees his abilities, and can make the best in a world that needs you to be capable.
A grown person who is stuck in a young state, cannot access their adult capacities, and easily slip into despair, helplessness, needy, or wimpy states.
My Gentian persona, going into despair at the drop of a hat, was a way you could see that I wasn't an adult through and through. I am now an adult 98%.
My client in this article: 10%.
I am adding this measure to the Starting Point Measurements. Why? Because it will help pinpointing where you need work.
- vice versa: with the main items in the preceding statement the other way around.
- These are the questions I measure in your Starting Point Measurements
1. your vibration (1-1000):
2. your overall intelligence, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, body, relationship, etc.:
3. the number of spiritual capacities you have:
4. your soul correction (your machine): https://www.yourvibration.com/sc
5. do you have attachments?
6. the level of your health (1-100):
7. the level of your cell hydration (1-100):
8. your relationship to feedback and instruction:
9. The level of discomfort you are willing to allow w/o trying to fix it. This is your TLB score...
10. The size of your vocabulary: the number of words you can use accurately:
11. To what degree you think of yourself:
12. # of fixed mindset:
15. Degree of inauthenticity overall:
16. Level of integrity 1-100:
17. how enslaved are you to memes? (what percentage of your life is run by memes?)
18. do you have a bridge between your precious "I" and your actual I? your level of delusion
19. To what degree you have access to your adult capacities %