Do you get the promised value when you buy something?

I had an interesting insight this morning.

Putting a price tag on any product, service, or coaching is going to be a lie. My strategy sessions. My 67 step coaching. My health consultations. My Water Energizer. My Heaven on Earth

Really, almost any product.

For one main reason:

The buyer creates the value for themselves! Nothing has value without someone saying so, without someone valuing it. So that means, that 2 , fully and totally word phenomenon.

Your relationship to your word as your power tool is the difference between living a life you love and live it powerfully… and a so-so, humdrum life where you are floating on the big ocean in a boat without a rudder.

What gives direction to life, to your actions, and how you feel about yourself and your life is the rudder… the words that you speak as an act of creating yourself and your life. We call that conscious speaking declaration.

Everyone I know thinks that positive thinking is about any thought or any speaking… but it’s an uneducated, unconscious, can’t see their ass from a hole in the ground person’s view, and a misunderstanding of the principle.

Not every word is a rudder, and not every word changes reality, the reality of who you are and how you see the word.

As long as your integrity, your relationship with your word is low, no word changes anything, including promises.

But once you raise your integrity to 10%, you get into the zone where you can declare… Declare what lights you up, declare what is important to you, declare how that ship of you is going to go. The relationship between word and you becomes stronger at around 30%… The people I measure have a level of integrity between 1% and 10%, people who have been doing well as my students have as high as 30% integrity.

Landmark Education’s technology is to hide why they ask you to do certain things… The purpose of the guest game and other promises is to strengthen your integrity, and debriefing is to strengthen your responsibility.

Not surprisingly participants hate it… If I were at 1% level, I would too. But I am not, and never was.

Not surprisingly I got immense value out of my participation in Landmark. The correct wording is “I created immense value out of my participation in Landmark…” As I said, the value is made by you, it cannot be received.

And even if you, by some miracle, you see value when you buy, it diminishes unless you keep on creating it by your participation.

One of my 30% integrity people sent me a thank you note today after I thanked her for her unsolicited donation:

Thank you so much and you are welcome for my somewhat small donation. You are worth every penny to me .  The time you spend with us, the research and all the thinking and catching you do and articles you write, if put in to money no one would afford it. You and your work are really priceless.

Wouldn’t you want to get value like she does? Start strengthening your relationship to your word, and you can be like her.[/note]

1. the value is in the eye of the buyer…
2. the value literally changes with what the buyer can and will do with it.

The client needs to become ready to use the coaching and generate big value with it. 3

I attended an online-marketing conference in 2004 in Washington DC. I ran into this dude, Tellman Knudson, and we started to chat. I was sitting on a goldmine that was invisible for me… except that as a chair, a goldmine is not comfortable.

He told me, in about an hour “session” what it is I should do to mine the gold.

It was all wasted on me. It increased my sense of worthlessness… I had no “access” to the value in that coaching. 4

About a year later, this time on the West Coast, I ran into famed marketer, Alex Mandossian, who spent two hours with me, because HE got excited about the goldmine I was sitting on.

I remember watching what he did on his computer to show me… but it was all the work of a magician: I didn’t see what he did with his hand… It was also useless to me.

In between I spent another 30 grand on useless to me coaching, Rich Shefren, and many others… not a cent return on my investment.

Five years later I did a course with Henry Gold, still around. He comped me in, because we had a delightful lunch in Las Vegas… hey, sometimes all it takes is to be entertaining to get a course for free.

It started to make sense by then. I started to see what I didn’t know… what I could learn to do…

Six years thus far!

I sweet-talked another student into teaming up with me. The setup worked. I volunteered to be the one who teaches a class to do what I could not do, what I didn’t understand, but I saw that without that any goldmine is just an uncomfortable sitting place.

It worked…

I created an eight module course. Unfortunately people got tired or discouraged and never did the last two modules. I haven’t even created the video for module eight… and it is still on my “to learn” list.

I priced my course such that it was a no-brainer for anyone who wanted to learn the content, and in addition, I gave hands-on consulting, for free, because I needed the practice, I needed to learn what I was teaching.

It worked for me. I have observed my students and they all became marketers. With the six modules of the training.

OK… so what am I talking about?

I have always dreamed of teaching… teaching those who can use what I teach. Who will use what I teach.

But there was this disconnect. People who could, or could have used it… they were buying the thousand, two thousand dollar coaching packages from other coaches. Programs that are above the level where they can actualize the value. 5

And me and my Listbuilding Mechanics Course that cost a pittance, were left with the ones who were like I was: could not fully use my coaching, unless I spent time with them, one-0n-one. Goldmine… no shovel. lol.

Almost two years ago I started to use Tai Lopez’s 67 steps as my coaching material… It’s like a book club. Everyone reads the same book, and then get to converse about it.

This morning, in my answer to a student who already has a fledgling business in skin care, I started to see what I have been missing all these years:

Before you can be coached to achieve stuff, you have to become worth a damn.

Tai’s 67 steps, in spite of its shortcomings, is the schooling you missed in the matters of life.

If you do that program the way it is meant to be done: you allow the steps to take you around and show you life and principles in all areas of life… if you look at your life, your knowledge, your memes differently… if you get into the habit of reading, and read a lot… it does prepare you to be coached.

To use being worth a damn for something that actually makes money, gives satisfaction and fulfillment, allows for relationships that work, and enjoy and maintain good health and vigor.

It is not business coaching. It is not health coaching. It is not relationship coaching. It is prep school… lol.

Imagine that you want to become a medical doctor.

Prep school for you is getting knowledgeable in biology, chemistry. And get volunteer/work experience in dealing with patients, work in a lab… etc. 6

Between you and me, to create a business, to be a marketer, to be able to sell what you create, you need a lot of capacities opened, lots of knowledge, lots of skills, and 360 degree view of the field.

20 capacities are needed to be activated to become a medical doctor. 10, to become a marketer, for example.

But you think that it is easy because people don’t learn marketing in school… no entry exam, no grades… just life and a lot of learning and failing in the field.

And you don’t even know what you don’t know. A lot of it is mindset… and a lot if it is individual skills…

OK, I am getting quite long-winded here…

Here is what I saw:

You should consider the 67 step coaching (combined with the 53 invisibles!) as the premed… preparing you to be trainable.

It will take you a lot of work. I promise.

Your choice is this: to be a dilettante, perpetually seeking, betting on instant riches and big red buttons… or become a reliable, count-on-able competent human who can and will succeed. That success is what we call “self-actualization”.

It took me, it has taken me 13 years. That including doing the 67 steps, diligently, for the past almost two years (I started it in February two years ago… and it’s December now.) 7

I have noticed that when marketing coaches speak, now I can connect the dots. I can take actions on some of the ideas or the instructions.

I have become more coachable.

What is coaching in that coachable sentence?

I’ve watched this Korean series on Netflix where the main character spent most of his life playing baduk, the game of go, a board game, as strategic as chess. Also played competitively.

He started in kindergarten age. His more than ten “coaches” helped him develop muscle memory, with a hands on approach.

Anything worth learning is like baduk (the go game), you need to become the right person, and you need to learn the right moves for the right reason.

50% mindset, 50% muscle memory. 8

And then you can be coached to be a consistent winner.

He, in the Korean movie, had to quit at this stage… because you need to be able to give your life to that… or it won’t work.

  • I have never met a violin virtuoso who played the violin as a sideline.
  • I have never met a brilliant marketer who did marketing on the side.

For many people what prevents them from amounting to much is their insistence to do everything other people do.

But you can be worth a damn and not amount to much. You can have a job, and have satisfaction. You can be healthy. You can have a family.

But to make a name for yourself… that is a 10 times bigger job…

You need to know what you aspire for. Ahead of time.

I always knew that I wanted to stand out. I always knew that I wasn’t going to be satisfied to be just one of many.

I chose my path early… this part.

So I quit everything where I could not be number one or number two, the way famed General Electric CEO Jack Welch, who sold off all divisions that didn’t have the potential to be number one or number two, and heavily invested into the ones that he kept.

I allowed many “talents” to atrophy for the sake of talents I can hone to become number one or number two with.

Of course, context is decisive, so I made creating context my number one area of expertise. 9

Context, the creation of context, is a lot like playing the violin. You can be so-so in it, or you can become a Paganini.

You don’t need to become a Paganini to be successful in life… but you need to become good.

I now have one student who got his feet wet in creating context.

And another one, following in his footsteps.

All of Tai’s steps are context creation, by the way. You just cannot see it. Why? Because context is invisible. And so are principles.

But everything looks different when the context changes.

Magical. Without the magic wand.

OK… your turn… if you think you’d like to start this process, these are the steps:

  1. get your Starting Point Measurements
  2. pay a buck to have a strategy session with me so we can see if you are suitable to become a client/student.

We’ll see where it goes…

PS: I coached in a lot of courses in Landmark Education.

My favorites were the 17 week long course, where I could take the participants through a whole journey.

I started each 17 week relationship with two questions: do you want to do the 150 dollar, the 1,500 dollar, or the hundred thousand dollar course?

This is as close as I could ever get to activate the relationship between the self and the word… to enable the participant to create value.

The second question was: what will take you out of this course? People, surprisingly, know. And they tell you.  Me, armed with this knowledge, could bring them back from quitting.

You know what you want… but you also know what will take you out… so you can’t have it. Tell me so I can fight against it with you.


  1. The issue is value or valuation. If we didn’t have different values, if we valued everything the same, the world would be a lot easier place to navigate.

    Around the time of the second world war and the holocaust, an German boy puzzled with the same questions. Fatherland, Jews, peace… he had these heavy duty questions, and he saw that each valued differently.

    His original name was Robert Schirokauer,  Hartman was added later. He came to the United States and developed theories and even a measuring tool of people’s values… I took his test, this is how I know about him.

    What I found out in that test, Value profile, was shocking: I didn’t value people, didn’t value them higher than stuff… in fact I treated people as tools, and not more.

    Since then, this was 20 years ago, I have grown, and most growth came from this newfound awareness of how I value things.

    I also found that most people are unaware of what they value, and are surprised at their own actions, or inaction.

    They don’t know that how they value things effect their lives more than anything else, and what else they don’t know is that the value is entirely up to them, that value can be grown by activating value.

    I was born with an appreciation (appreciation is the verb saying you value. The root of the word is precious=valuable) for education. I instinctively knew, then tested, that my participation increases the value. I am what people call the eager beaver student. This is probably why I actually learned the material they taught in school, because of knowing that my participation is what actually creates the value.

    I am still the same way… although the type of participation has changed… it is no longer school…

    Anything that doesn’t allow for participation, in fact, I can’t learn. Participation is the enzyme, or catalysts that activates the value.

    Recently I have tested this theory of mine with a student who wasn’t doing well at the time. I decided to give him opportunities to activate the value, advise him how to do it, and see what comes out of it.

    I had done it before, but wasn’t documenting it… so this was going to be proof positive… or not.

    I encouraged the student to teach what he learns. I also suggested that he takes on a study partner or two. And them asked him to present the material to two different classes I teach.

    Like Cinderella, he responded and now he is my pride and joy. He is smart, has good questions, and is getting a whole lot out of his studies.

    Yet… he still struggles with the idea of value. He is looking for value, tries to see it, doesn’t yet understand that value is created. That there is no value in reality. Value is a function of languaging 1giving it a name, aka words

  2. Cooking recipes come to mind. Unless you know cooking without recipes, unless you develop a feel for what works together, every recipe will be a disaster for you.

    Here is an example.

    My egg-coffee

    I am violently sensitive to and addicted to the A1 milk protein that is like morphine, addictive. So I can’t put it in my coffee. So I have developed a coffee recipe that uses egg yolk and ghee to make the coffee creamy. But if you don’t add sweetener: I use stevia, it will be horrid. And if I don’t add salt, enough salt, it will be still horrid. When the right amount of each is added: it is delightful. And good for you.

    Update: after a while this egg thing became disgusting and unpalatable to me… so I stopped it.

    Nowadays I have one cup of coffee a day with A2 milk butter. There is only one A2 milk butter on the market in my town, and only in one store… President, a French butter. It’s good for me. I put the coffee and the butter in my VITAMIX and make it foamy and completely emulsified. Butter floating on the top of coffee is thoroughly disgusting to me.

  3. But I did every course, every coaching program of his, thereafter, with the exact same result… Except, now, 13 years later, I am starting to implement…
  4. People, like in the Peter Principle, always want to go to the level where they are incompetent… it’s like the Dark Side guides them there. This is the biggest reason those programs produce only 1-2% results… this is why Frank Kern decided to leave the lucrative field of teaching. It is demoralizing to teach and produce little or no success for your clients and students.
  5. Here is what I found on Google this morning:
    • Decide on medicine. …
    • Complete undergraduate science requirements.
    • Get volunteer/work experience in health-related fields.
    • Consider a broad pre-med course selection.
    • Develop staff/faculty advisors.
    • Prepare for the MCAT.
    • Take the MCAT exam.
    • It’s now three years… this is a reprint of an article from 2017, with additions of new stuff
    • When I say muscle memory, I should also say “long term memory”.

      I have since learned that unless you have a lot of knowledge in your long term memory, you are trying to use your RAM, random access memory, that is small… and you’ll drop most of the information and never amount to much.

      I have learned that rote memorization served a purpose: to develop your memory… your long term memory. The more knowledge you remember, the more you can add to it, the more new stuff will make sense and become a part of the network of knowledge you need to become anything other than a physical worker, an office worker, a cog in the machine. Or even an accountant… even if your desire is to become more, developing your memory and a network of knowledge is mandatory to learn anything new, especially much, as much as it takes to start a business, or to change a career.

      If you are someone who has coasted in life because you are brilliant, you probably didn’t have to develop your memory.

      You read books and you don’t remember. You listen to audios, and you don’t remember. Your first job will be to memorize… so you can have long term memory to hang stuff on, so it can stick.

      You’ll hate it, all brilliant people do. But if you want more than what you can have, you must.

      I’ll find some good memory developing classes… other people have discovered the connection long before I did.

    • Read the footnotes: your ability to invent context depends on your integrity number, the relationship between you and your word.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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