I talk to people a lot… in my head. I have long conversations with them

I am an introvert.

I don't know what that means... but I know that I talk to people a lot... in my head. I have long conversations with them.

So when I find out that they don't know about it: I am surprised.

It is nearly impossible to have an authentic conversation with someone after I already had the same conversation WITH THEM in my head.

So many things never get said.

My coaching program is designed to have regular conversations, so none of them happens in my head. That no notes are needed... If I have anything to say, I just send a note.

Some students are not used to this... and try to have one conversation a week... how silly. They could have gotten it out, or get guidance, or have their questions answered.

I talk about handholding. But handholding isn't limited to learning. Handholding is, for me, what I miss most about not having anyone close to me.

So closest to handholding is having conversations in my head, and missing people dearly.

I am not sure what missing someone is... It's a lot like a hole that needs to be filled...

Hugging myself helps... a lot more than filling it with food, or work.

I finished the Korean series, Misaeng.

The main character, the Baduk player, pulled on my heart strings, and on everyone's heart strings in the series.

What was it about him? The way he was able to keep his self in check. The way he was the opposite of nearly everyone around him: pushing their precious "I" to the forefront. Front and center.

He, the character, didn't. So he was vulnerable and invincible at the same time. He was humble, absorbing knowledge, skills at a rate almost not natural, shining... but have no ego.

His desire to belong, to allow others to shine... endearing.

If I did his starting point measurements... why don't I? Yeah, let's see it.

1. your vibration (1-1000): 300
2. your overall intelligence, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, body, relationship, etc.: 95
3. the number of spiritual capacities you have: 20
4. your soul correction (your machine): don't know his birthdate https://www.yourvibration.com/sc
5. do you have attachments? no
6. the level of your health (1-100): 10%
7. the level of your cell hydration (1-100): 10%
8. your relationship to feedback and instruction: gratitude and eagerness to comply and grow
9. The level of discomfort you are willing to allow w/o trying to fix it. This is your TLB score... 30
10. The size of your vocabulary: the number of words you can use accurately: 1000
11. To what degree you think of yourself: 3%
12. # of fixed mindset: 20%
13. Ambition: 90%
14. Desire: 20%
15. Degree of inauthenticity overall: 20%
16. Level of integrity 1-100: 20%
17. how enslaved are you to memes? (what percentage of your life is run by memes?) 50%
18. do you have a bridge between your precious "I" and your actual I? your level of delusion: 7%
19. To what degree you have access to your adult capacities % 90% (that 90% is amazing!)

The word "you" in these starting point measurements stand for his, Jang Geu-rae's measurements.

A person with these measurements can succeed at anything, and is liked by everyone.

So what about you? What are your starting point measurements?

One of the things that stuck out today in today's coaching posts is the tendency to jump ahead.

To pick and choose what to practice and what not to. Arrogance. Cluelessness... they always go together.

I am not different.

In my case, I didn't know any better. I didn't have a handholding coach who forced me to put my feet, one after the other, so I don't miss the basics.

What makes you skip steps is your precious "I"... the delusional self. We all have it. The bigger the gap between reality and delusion, the more skipping steps, the more difficult it is to bridge the gap.

I am reading a book, non-fiction, by a one-time coach of mine. I had a few coaching sessions with him. I didn't need any coaching... I needed handholding. I could not use his advice: it was years ahead of its time.

$500 an hour... nothing to show for it. And it was probably horrible for him too.

Last night, as I was reading his book, I got a glimpse of what was missing: staying in touch. Frequent personal communication.

I never really learned how to do that, and I am on my 22nd year of being an online entrepreneur.

It's true, I write at least one article a day, and for many it is me talking to them. They are guided by my articles.

But for most, my articles don't do it... because it is on a much too high level.

Their concerns are closer to the vest... and I need to address it... or better said: I need to learn how to address it.

I am humbly going back to the first step. And appropriately I am scared. Of the unknown, of what is awaiting me there.

This kind of fear is the best fear... It is a lot like opening a gift package under the Christmas tree...

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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