Remember the soup Nazi? Who ran his soup takeout shop like a prison camp? And people lined up and waited patiently to be given soup… that was so good, and so hard to come by, they were willing to earn it… I want to be like the soup Nazi.
Like everyone, my energy is finite. I can’t whip out extra at the drop of a hat… I am human.
For example after 16 days of steadily dropping cell hydration, I am having a hard time having enough energy to energize my water.
So I filled my Polar Pitchers with filtered water, and put them in the refrigerator. I run the Energizer Audio 24/7 there… from one of those brilliant mini speakers that are also an mp3 player.
My cell hydration is at 30%… still not enough for me to push the energy for 10-15 minutes…
I haven’t walked in a week… it is too cold here, or maybe I am just too complacent, but I definitely have more energy when I walk every day.
But this is what it is…
OK… so you get the picture: I am a human, and I have finite energy.
I divide my energy between serving clients and growing myself and my business.
Then comes along someone who things their shit doesn’t stink… That they are doing me a favor to talk to me.
Or someone who is utterly clueless, and even if my life depended on it, i would not be able to take them up to a level where they can be trained.
Let’s take the extreme example: they are willing to pay so much money that I would not need any other client… Would I take them on? Hell no. I am like the architect in The Fountainhead: I don’t work to have clients, I have clients so I can work.
Through the interactions with clients I get my own self-growth done 30-50%. Whether they do well or not.
This week I raised my voice to everyone. I may even generated anger… I didn’t feel angry… but anger works, it adds an umph to the communication.
And this week’s self-growth gain has been tremendous… even though I am weak .
Spending time and being paid for it with someone who you would not want to spend time with without being paid… is prostitution. Not the path to a life you love and live powerfully. At least not for me.
Often I attempt to make the other angry, so they quit. So they feel better about themselves. It makes it easier for me.
When I don’t do that, the person may pester me for years, wanting to convince me that their wanting to become a client is important.
I have spoken about the human needs that I learned from Margoczi: The actual needs that unless they are fulfilled all kinds of pain is the result. 1
I am most concerned, in my work, with the need to meet your own expectations, and the need to meet others’ expectations.
Margoczi touches on it: we have a precious “I”, a made up imaginary person, who we protect, but who is not realistic. It doesn’t do what we imagine he does, he doesn’t look we imagine he does, he is not as good as we imagine he is… But when we are confronted either by comparison, or reality by not conforming to our expectations… we feel hurt.
The precious “I” feels devalued: we did not fulfill the need to meet other people’s expectations, the world’s expectations.
Every single person who approaches me, has a need to fulfill their own expectations and the expectations of others…
When I don’t want to work with them: all hell breaks through.
If I do this adroitly, then they can just hate me, and their precious “I” can live another day…
And they leave me alone… after they tell me that I am wrong, or stupid, or a fraud, or unpleasant, or whatever.
I am OK with that. I buy peace that way.
Because my precious “I” is pretty close to reality…
Bringing those closer so the gap is not the Niagara Falls… is one of the things we learn in the Playground and my coaching program. Because when the two selves are closer, your power to make things happen is intact… you have nothing to hide, no appearances to protect, no airs to put on.
You can do simply what you said you would do, and produce money, health, love and fulfillment.
That is my goal with you.
That is why I work with who I work with, do my simple and inexpensive courses… Because that is the beginning of heaven./
- Here is the table of contents for the book. If you look: there are many needs. The needs I am concerned here a
1. CONDITIONS OF EXISTENCE
2. HIERARCHY OF NEEDS
3. THE INFORMATION SYSTEMS OF OUR ORGANISM
3.1 Bases of neurological regulation
The maximum law in practice
The law of the difference threshold
3.2 External information system
3.3 Internal information system
4. CLASSIFICATION OF FEELINGS
4.1 Need-indicating feelings
4.2 Orienting feelings
The cooperation of need-indicating and orienting feelings
4.3 Strategic feelings
4.4 Tactical feelings
4.5 Technological feelings
4.6 System status signals
5. THE MEMORY
7. THE THINKING HUMAN BEING
7.1 The fragmented world
7.2 Ways of thinking
7.3 The database
7.4 The role of feelings
8. FEELING TRAPS
8.1 The desire trap
8.2 The tension trap
8.3 The fear trap
8.4 The game trap
8.5 The pain trap
9. ONCE MORE ABOUT NEEDS
9.1 Need for energy supply
9.2 Need for information
9.3 Need for safety
9.4 The need to reproduce
The indicating feelings of the need to reproduce and the related orienting feelings
The asymmetric nature of male-female relationships
9.5 The need for a group
9.6 The need to meet others’ expectations
9.7 The need to meet our own expectations
9.8 The need for self-realisation
10. THE VALUE
11. THE WAY TO HAPPINESS
11.1 The need-based control
The need for energy supply
The need for information
The need for safety
The need to reproduce
The need for a group
The need to meet others’ expectations
The need to meet our own expectations
The need for self-realisation
11.2 The control ensuring the accumulation of reserves
11.3 A summary of system optimisation
12. ON RELIGION
14. ON THE ARTS