Everything you ever wanted comes to you through people. Love, belonging, being heard, appreciation, validation, money, sex, teaching, learning, enjoyment… everything… Unless you have someone witness your life, nothing gives you pleasure…
OK… maybe on a desert island this is not 100% true… unless we consider that you for yourself is also “people”… and unless you give it to you you won’t have it. That is witnessing, that is validation, etc.
In order to truly give it to yourself, you need to learn to bi-locate. To be at two places at once. Not physically, but mentally, experientially.
That capacity is also the cornerstone of being able to sell… The only way to make money, by the way.
When we are talking about getting what you want we are talking about both tangible and intangible wants. 1
I want respect… so yesterday I was pondering whether I give myself respect… what the heck is respect anyway? lol
But in all seriousness, if you don’t learn the art and science of how to get what you want through another, then you are going to experience a lot of lack. Oh, you already do? Then maybe I am talking to the right person!
OK… before I go on and give you the art and science… I’ll tell you why I am giving it away for free.
For some people this teaching is worth a billion bucks. For others a million. And for most… not even the price of the zeros and ones it is written on.
The difference is not in the information: it is in the recipient. In you.
Make sure you are the billion dollar recipient… OK?
One of the things that stand in your way to receiving the billion dollar information is your lack of humility. Your precious “I” that cares too much of what other people say about you, what other people think you know or don’t know.
Interestingly this over-emphasis on appearances, on what you want in lieu of what is, of what is true about you, of what would matter, or what would actually get you what you want, is encoded in the predatory genes everyone carries, some turned on, some turned off.
If you have too many predatory genes turned on, you cannot give a fig about other people, or values, or the need to do something… you are enamored with your precious “I” that tells you that you deserve everything… without having to work for it.
If you have too few predatory genes turned on, you don’t take care of yourself, you give away the store… you don’t think you deserve anything, and you behave accordingly.
Recently I have been able to ask Source to adjust predatory genes to serve individuals, like yourself, the best.
Thus far the adjusted number of predatory genes have been between 2 and 4, the predominant number is 3.
This has been tested and there is an overwhelming anecdotal evidence that the process works. Anecdotal… science has to catch up with it… and science may not catch up for decades… 🙁
You can ask me to intervene on your behalf with Source and adjust your predatory genes. For a limited time, I’ll also check if you have the addiction gene, and turn it off if it is turned on.
Experience has shown that with the addiction gene active, nothing makes a difference. NOTHING.
Get your Predatory Genes adjusted
I have two “talking coaching” clients.
Both are dealing with the issue: how to create a relationship with customers, potential customers, such that would make their lives beautiful, their money more plentiful, and be able to love themselves at the same time.
In some way, to you, you are people… And often your attitude towards yourself is the one that robs you from getting what you want… Really.
So whenever I say people in this article, I include you… you for yourself.
Because your life is only as big and as beautiful as the amount of permission you have from people in your life… and from yourself.
So if your life, in spite of all your intentions, is small or miserable, or constrained, look at your relationship with people (including yourself) and focus on those…
The art and science of getting what you want is about people and your relationship to them.
Listen to the voices in your head that are saying now: “I already know everything about relationships…” or “maybe this will work for others, but you don’t know my mother/wife/boss…”
Just tell those voices that you heard them… it will quiet them down.
Hell, I bet you missed it! This is step #1: your voices! They don’t seem to be people, but they do behave like people… so treat them as you would treat people. If you diss people… you probably diss your voices. Big mistake. You have to listen to them, hear them out, have compassion, and tell them you heard them. That is all your voices want: to be heard by you.
Let them know that you heard them… or else, like an insistent 3-year old, they will nag you all day, until you succumb.
Really, as long as the two of you live in a tug or war, you won’t get much done, you won’t be very happy… so it’s time. So it’s urgent.
The way I did that, the way I started creating an alliance between me and me, is through connecting to the person in the mirror.
Not seeing yourself in the mirror… that is the beginning of the tug of war. No. Seeing a PERSON in the mirror and connecting to the person in the mirror.
You can see if the person in the mirror is connecting to you… when for a moment they do… it is the scariest moment of your life. You want to run. You were seen for a moment… warts and all. OMG. Scary as hell!
You may not even know what you want to hide, but being seen is very uncomfortable, scary, and maybe even painful.
Don’t worry, you’ll have time to get used to it. Because you need to do this, day in and day out, until you are permanently connected. It will take long, don’t have delusions!
Some of you will NEVER connect. It’s too scary. You’ll make faces, you’ll stare, hold the other’s stare, but NOT CONNECT.
Now you know why your life will remain fake, and REMAIN the way it is.
If you hang in there, maybe you CAN connect… give it a chance.
Our fundamental relationship to others is based on fear. We weren’t born that way, but we learned to be afraid fast: it is not safe to be open to others, not safe to be seen. It comes at a cost: Betrayal, abuse, judgments, being laughed at…
We learned about life… and now we are closed… But now, that you are an adult, you can deal with betrayal, abuse, judgments and being laughed at… I am not saying you’ll like it, I am saying that you can deal with it. Of course your TLB needs to start growing…
If you neglect this step, creating a strong and neutral connection between you and you, you’ll never be able to connect to anyone… and chances are you’ll get what you want through deception, conning, the familiar soothing voice guru talk, manipulation, force, coercion, violence… and there is no chance for fulfillment in that.
Here is #3: Look at the picture of the elephants… ALIGN yourself with the other.
People who always think of themselves, think that if they became better, more attractive, more something, then others would want to do for them what they want… they would be liked more, more influential, more charismatic, whatever is the buzzword of the day.
And looking to the world and to others for guidance will do that to you. Tell you stupid things that are not true.
From the other’s perspective, how much you care about them, how much you care about what they say, about what is important to them, is what makes you attractive to them.
Caring, attention is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
I used to look at unattractive women who were loved, cherished by their husbands… while I was alone.
It made no sense to my self-centered way of thinking. I was prettier, smarter, blah blah blah.
And then I had an insight… First was the word “alignment” and then I combined it with the picture of footprint in the sand…
As long as you are about yourself, you will try to convince, force, manipulate the other… No fun for either, if you ask me.
Get interested in their path, where they are going, walk with them, and as you now walk together, you can choose any direction to go… you are now a unit.
It is art and and it is a science. You can do this well, or you can do this with an agenda… and then it won’t work.
Or you can do it with manipulation… thousands of gurus, teachers, marketeers, politicians do it that way. Oh, and religion… 2
How do THEY do it?
I probably could read a book or two and then re-teach it. I don’t recommend the route of manipulation. It results in wretchedness… Even though it produces results if you know how to use it…
The Cognitive Biases are what the “seller” connects to… And once your machine is primed, it is a piece of cake to dupe you into action.
- You can read the famous Cialdini book, Persuasion, or the next level: Presuasion.
- You can do Frank Kern’s Mass Control, I’ll sell you my copy, I don’t need it, i don’t want it. I paid about 2 grands for it.
But if you want results and a great life, learn to connect to people, appreciate what they want, align with them, you can take them anywhere, preferably some place that is good for BOTH OF YOU to go.
- In the upcoming Money course, I’ll spend, probably, more time on your attitude towards people, than your attitude about money.
I am testing if my ideas can be received by people like you, in small workshops that I give away for free… because I am data gathering.
- You can learn a lot from religion on how to connect to someone’s innermost fears and desires… and use those to establish alignment. The footprints story is a great example…