"A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct," wrote science fiction author Frank Herbert.
Sometimes you need to go through extreme hardship to learn what you need to learn.
In the normal course of events, as soon as I have something, I announce it on these pages, and that's that... the beginning is not taken delicate care of... and I don't worry about the balances.
Let the chips fall where the chips fall, has been my slogan, and it has caused me considerable amount of suffering, physical, financial, mostly.
I have spent the last week under siege, being attacked 18-19 hours a day. Most of the time I was semi-conscious only, and mostly on conscious of the pain, contemplating my mortality, hoping to get an hour's of clarity to leave life with the result I have sought and found: the key to the thousand years of peace.
Last night I gave up trying to hold it together and surrendered to whatever I have been connecting to it, and said the magic words: "I need help"
Almost instantly I feel into a four-hour sleep, and woke up painless and some clarity.
The painlessness lasted an hour, give or take, the clarity hasn't left. The attacks are back, but I have learned from the attackers a thing or two, so I am not as despondent as I was before, though I am still not sure that I will survive the attacks.
But I will make sure that I'll leave my legacy, somehow, before I go.
Don't ask what's happening, WHO, HOW AND WHAT, I won't tell you... When I shared it with a friend he was thinking of having me locked up in the loony bin... no, thank you.