Like yourself, I also prefer to look at the pretty, the beautiful, the harmonious, the happy... but if you want to tell the truth, there is not much of that, at least where humans are involved.
Of course I can't avoid it... no matter where I go, no matter where I look, some horrid inner turmoil of some person, wholly unrelated to what I am doing, is taking over my body. Ugh.
And then there are the people to whom I have to connect. You are not pretty inside.
The book, Stanislaw Lem's is the chronicles of a 25th, maybe 27th Century man, I. Tichy... who visits planets, who time travels, and chronicles.
Desire for the Self alone... disregarding the whole... narrow cone of vision.
30 odd years ago he kidnapped a woman, killed her by accident and killed the man who tried to rescue her.
The man was trying to get a wife for his son, who was feeling lonesome.
OK, this is obviously a crime and you can see that it's evil. Why? You don't know. So you spout the party line, the memes, the rules, the whole enchilada that you have never actually internalized. 2
You don't know what is good, and you don't know what is evil. You know the words, you can tell me what you heard other people say, but you don't know. Or your insides were different... not so twisted.
Humans, every single human, is on this same level of consciousness... with some small variations.
The Kabbalistic distinction: desire for the self alone is probably the second most difficult concept in Kabbalah. The first is "desire for the sake of sharing"... you need a lot more spiritual capacities turned on for that than what most people have.
As much as science touts that empathy is innate, built in, blah blah blah, knowing what someone else feels as a result of your actions and caring are two different things. This is why thousands of memes (rules) tell you what to do... because left to your own devices, you keep stepping on toes, causing bleeding, etc.
Rules and rules and rules.
To keep you at bay. Because, unfortunately, your natural inclination is to be evil.
Your high desire number is desiring what you want for yourself...
Your "to what degree you think of yourself" is desiring the world to obey you, and treat you with whatever you are unwilling to provide.
The gap between your real self and your delusional/imaginary/inflated self shows to what degree your actions will be in accordance with reality...
And your integrity number, the number that shows to what degree you are in harmony with your higher self, is puny. As low as 3%. Since I started doing these Starting Point Measurements I've seen three profiles with 20% integrity. And 20% is not even high... Three people out of 180... that is how many Starting Point Measurements I have done.
Now, if evil, desire for the self alone, were just bad for everyone except yourself, I would have written this article.
But when you look at your life, at your level of satisfaction with your health, your money, your relationships, your work, what isn't working, what makes you worried, or feel empty, alienated, and tired is YOUR desire for the self alone.
That gap between who you are and what you see as right for you, and your actions, attitudes, inclinations, that is what makes you so not harmonious inside.
Of course there are distinct elements, the voices, the marker feelings, the memes, and the unwillingness to accept as the premise for your life, that A is A... (what else would it be?!).
Wherever you are today, some of you know that it's the wrong place, and it is up to you to get out of there.
A large percentage will know that it's the wrong place, but you'll also know that you are unwilling to do anything other than some weak pretense steps to get out of there.
And most of you will tell me that I am negative... and I should think positive... blah blah blah.
I am not negative. I am not positive. I am looking at reality... A is A. The current level of humanity is the level of semi-conscious evil.
Why do I say it is semi-conscious? Because on some level you know. Because no one needs to teach you decency, and other virtues... you, your deep self knows it, even if you are not yet equipped to be that way, to behave that way.
A peace of the DNA is expressed if the body deems it necessary... the process through which a segment of the DNA is expressed or suppressed is called epigenetic shift, and you cause the shift with your behavior. A behavior that is new to you and in conflict with other parts of the expressed DNA...
In the book Seveneves (by Neal Stephenson) one of the characters goes through an epigenetic shift when she runs really hard and really long and beyond her endurance level by far.
When she collapses, the person who will stand up from that fall, will be a new being now capable to go through a lot more trial, physical or otherwise, than the person who collapsed.
I, for example, have gone beyond my endurance level, given that I spent 33 years in deadline-occupation, part of that time as an architect, and part of that time as a magazine publisher.
I am (and was) more aware than most, and one time I counted 14 "second winds" in a row.
Long distance runners, super marathoners especially, have caused themselves several (or at least one) epigenetic shifts.
It takes effort and persistence to cause an epigenetic shift.
And, because of the economy-seeking nature of the physical organism, a capacity, that turned on by an epigenetic shift, will turn off it is not used regularly for too long.
I see this in my family. Both my brothers inherited, aka were born with 11 capacities in the "on" mode. Once they retired and started to live a mundane house-bound life, the capacities one by one turned off. My older brother has five capacities still "on", the younger has none...
What do those capacities do?
An awful lot of the how and the what of life comes from the capacities.
For example, just a few examples from my past day:
- 1. the ability to be precise and cut or tear on a line... the capacity of allowing nature to be the way nature is, instead of thinking that just because you want something to go a certain way it should.
- 2. the ability to go back to the big picture again and again, both in space and in time, so the sequence and the relevance of certain steps is justified and in the correct context... so you won't work on the wrong thing... oops.
- 3. the realization that unless something is said with your words and makes sense, you haven't even gotten enough of it to talk about it, let alone do it, implement it, bring it to bear.
- 4. the realization that doing things in homework style doesn't work, won't work, and the only loser is you.
- 5. making a commitment to slow down, take notes, and speak a new thing of a plan out loud until it makes sense.
There are 160 capacities, according to my muscle test.
The above examples are from my coaching practice...
You may need different capacities. But if you want your delusional (Self you fancy yourself to be) closer to who you really are, you need capacities, and quite a few. And you need to do work... Not like you have. Real sustained work that goes beyond your TLB 1 nature.