People will always judge you and what you are doing. It’s part of the machine to judge.

People will always judge you and what you are doing. It's part of their machine.

There is nothing you can do about that. Judging is the only way humans have access to "what's happening". It is the right circle (the meaning and story circle)... and it is NEVER empty... You can call it meaning, you can call it story, you can call it judgment, you can call it commentary, you can call it whatever you want to: it never goes away.

Mother Teresa may be right... but doing it anyway, giving your best anyway, may be a really uphill struggle, unless... unless you set the context. She did... masterfully, and she made people "write big numbers" as a result.

When you create context, in essence what you are doing is changing the words... changing the vantage point, changing the meaning according to what you want it to be... and thus you are changing what and how they are going to judge. You are setting yourself and what you are doing differently than their mind automatically would... had you said nothing.

Want power? Learn how to set a context...

So in essence setting the context is grabbing the reins of others' opinion so their opinion allows for more of what you want. More permission, more goodwill, maybe even support. god forbid... lol... hysterical laughter.

Remember, you only have as much room to live/to be as much room the people in your life allow you to have. Elbow room...

When they judge you by an unknown criteria, they will treat you differently, than when they judge you by what you suggest they judge you by.

Because if you don't even know how they judge you, you have zero power to change their stance... against you.

There is huge reluctance to this in everyone I have ever met.

Why? Civilization, memes say: "love me for me! I don't want to work on being loved, being accepted, being supported."

Really? Stupid as the stupid does... you probably have NO ROOM to be yourself.

Why? Because people don't know who you are without you telling them. People don't know what you are up to, without you telling them.

But even then, if that is all you do, you are still screwed.

So in addition to telling the who and the what, you also need to tell them what's in it for them.

That is what anybody is every interested in, anyway.

People don't love you for you, they love you for what's in it for them. People don't support you for you, they support you for what's in it for them.

So you have to get good at telling someone what they can get out of loving you or supporting you. Or letting you be. Or allowing you take a rest. Or drinking energized water. Or reading my articles. Or eating the way your body wants you to eat... All the ways you rub people the wrong way, all the ways people feel threatened, slighted, or irritated by what you do or don't do.

The following part separates the men from the boys... male and female included.

The "boys" are sissies, and won't do it.

You can increase your TLB score by doing this diligently, and always.

You need to tell them what's in it for them to let you be you.

To address the WIIFM. What is in it for me. 1

OF course being able to know what's in it for another person in anything, you need to be able to see the world from their angle.

You have that capacity either activated or not... but if you need it, because you commit to find that out, it will get activated. Guaranteed.

Trying to see... trying again and again and again and again.

Doing the 5-question exercise: their answers will guide you.

Don't want to do the 5-question exercise? Come back when you stop being a sissy boy and you are ready to become a man.

I hate to break it to you, because it sounds soooo rude! Right?

Hey, the truth will set you free if you can be with it stinging when you first hear it.

Every coaching I still remember, every coaching I ever got that made a huge shift in how I saw life and myself, first hurt like hell. Like hell.

But I breathed through it. Maybe I said a lot of f-f-f, but I didn't say: it's not true. I didn't say: it's rude. I didn't say: why didn't you say it nicely. I said thank you. And went and changed my behavior. I changed my attitude.

Was it hard? Hell yeah. Wicked hard. Some of those attitudes took me years to change. But changing them I did. And I am better for it.

Your relationship to feedback is not set in stone. In fact nothing is... maybe your eye color, but not much more.

You came to this site to become all you can become... Not more, not less.

Now get to work. Or get off my site.

Footnotes

  1. WIIFM is the stuff that shows how or why what you have to sell or say matters to those who you are trying to sell or say it too. It's the value proposition, the thing that makes them realize that what you're offering is worth their money or their time

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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