It’s time for a change… for me… and for you… All the pictures show the suckers’ game… not what I teach. What I teach doesn’t have pictures on the web… because it is new, and because it’s not a suckers’ game.
It’s time to become the master, not the slave, it is time to stop being the sucker in the room… 1
In yesterday’s money attitude workshop I worked with nine people on finding out what is their attitude, and looking what new attitude they can create, grow, and make natural would make their money issues disappear.
In this post I am going to publicly examine my own attitude that leads to a whole less money than one would think the amount work I invest should make.
As usual, I did the exercise I make attendees do, before I got on the call.
By the way, every time I do this exercise, I see something that without doing the exercise I would not see. There were a few years in my life when I needed to turn my life around, and I did this exercise at least once a week, sometimes twice.
The exercise trains you to look, instead of remember. It takes you out of Plato’s Cave, and allows you, for the moment, to see reality. See yourself. See your attitude. See why what doesn’t work doesn’t work. It allows you to see that you are always the cause. That no circumstance, no handicap, no other people, not the economy, it is always you and your attitude. Your attitude towards yourself, towards other people, and towards the issue.
When you can see it it is transformational. It is like the fish seeing that it’s swimming in water.
What you see when you do this exercise is a little piece of the pie of everything that could be known, from the part of the pie that isn’t included in what you knew you knew, and what you knew you didn’t know. So it is always a surprise. 2
If it isn’t… then you remained in the cave… That is how you know.
Now, I won’t share the money issue I shared in the workshop, because, of course, no matter what issue I would share, the attitude would be the same.
What?! Yes. What gets revealed in this exercise is the how in the How you do anything is how you do everything statement that I learned from T. Harv Eker, the statement that became the turning point in his life, and took him, used diligently, from a total hapless loser to a multi-millionaire who now teaches about money. The interesting number I’d like to share with you about Harv and his teaching is this: his teaching’s truth value is 7%.
Why so low? And that is what is interesting: you don’t have to know why what you do works, just like you don’t have to know how a digital television works, you just have to use it. Really.
So, because I need a turnaround for myself, I scheduled all these online workshops, to force myself to do my own work on my own attitude.
After my experience yesterday, I am probably going to do it 4-5 times between now and the next session in two week.
Why? The more you can see of what you didn’t know that you didn’t know, the more power you’ll have to actually make life work, to make money work, to make more money… or have time to enjoy your money, etc.
What I saw about myself yesterday is this: I like to put myself between you and the knowledge. That, to a large extent, my teaching is all about me teaching it to you.
That’s an attitude… I am crucial, I am needed, I am giving it to you.
What I invented is to say to myself: Get over yourself… Which is my soul correction worded slightly differently. My soul correction is Forget Thyself…
Now, what’s “wrong” with my current attitude? What’s wrong is that I am, in essence, doing “it” for you. I don’t really allow you to discover it for yourself. And nothing quite becomes usable for you, unless you discovered it for yourself.
Now, I have been like this for 70 years. I have had teachers, coaches, who did things the way I do them. And I learn best when i am taught this way. But 99% of humanity is not like me: they learn differently.
So, for me to become a teacher students love, I need to learn to teach people to find out for themselves what at present I show them, tell them, discover for them.
The challenge, that being a true empath, I have is that I see the invisible, and without me telling them what I see, it is hard to see for themselves.
So I need to invent a cross between giving them that information and letting them work out the conclusions…
Bummer, eh? I have to learn to do things in a new way. I have to learn to “withhold my brilliance and my contribution” so they can be the brilliant ones.
I remember my mother telling me to learn from what she says so I don’t have to make the same mistakes she made. I remember feeling that I want to learn from my mistakes, and insisted making the mistakes. Many. Maybe too many. I got banged up. I was poor, and I was rich, and I was a sucker, and I was on top of the world, and I was homeless, and I was respected, and then reviled… 3
I wanted that experience, I didn’t want to learn second hand.
And maybe you are like me in this regard. You want to figure it out for yourself.
And I need to become the kind of teacher who lets you.
Isn’t it interesting that I chose to do for a living what is hardest for me?
Well, she was a very popular teacher, because that saying created a context for people for all the friction that transformed bad, wrong, mistakes, painful, into incredibly useful.
Some of my students go through, experience a lot of friction. They don’t know, but they will go furthest up on the vibrational scale, if they can stay with it.
Others avoid the experience of friction… and they will stay the same.
In these workshops it is clear who is who, in this regard.
In one of Tai’s 67 steps step he talks about teaching pigs to fly. Step 33 4
I re-listened to that step, and when I apply “Get over yourself!” I can hear that you can make people do what they need to do, if you build enough incentive for them to go through whatever is in the way.
Not everyone, but the ones who are willing.
OK, I am almost done:
What can you learn from this article?
Marker feelings are what are called emotions in common parlance. When you feel sad, angry, etc, those are emotions… you feel them.
They were created with words, most often words that flashed so fast that you could catch them. What remains is the marker feeling, the emotion they created… And the mind, the meaning making machine, starts to look for a likely reason why you suddenly feel the way you feel.
And then starts to churn that… to death… lol.
I know it because I am human too. And I know it because I have observed countless clients do it…
Those undetected words and the marker feelings take you out of life, and put you into Plato’s Cave.
In the work I do, in the work I propose, we learn to recognize all the moves of the machine you live in.
You are not the machine. You live in the machine. You are you. The machine is the machine. But at present, you think you are the machine.
And that is why you don’t really feel like a person, that is why you don’t really honor yourself as a person, that is why you want to change how you feel.
Once you discover and start to learn the machine, minutely, life starts to change.
I the workshops I give, it is all about the machine. Because, truthfully, that is the only thing you need to do: learn the machine so you can let the machine be the machine and be left with you.
And you are OK. You are enough. You, without the machine, are even intelligent, kind, ambitions, diligent, curious, and fun.
But when you think you are the machine… you are none of that. And especially you are no fun. Even if you are funny. Your funny is the machine… 🙁
PS: What people, including T. Harv Eker, call belief are the voices, the memes, that your machine picks out of the broadcast of same. Not beliefs…
In fact, you have no beliefs. You listen and are instructed by the words you hear. You listen and get marker feelings.
If you think you have beliefs, you want to change them. How is it working for you? Does this concept make you the sucker in the room? My guess is that most of you will see that yes, that idea that you have beliefs that someone can change for you, that you can change for yourself, that a course, an energy practitioner, an hypnotist can help you change, has relegated you to a permanent sucker status… your credit card is always on the ready to spend more to get nothing.
There are no such things as beliefs. It is as antiquated a notion as the notion that it is the heart that is doing the thinking… Read Aristotle… Read science history… Very educational…
But if it is not beliefs, then they are not yours either. They are the machine… But you are not the machine… So you can start living like not the machine… and become who you want to become… even though you live in that particular machine.
You cannot change the machine, you cannot escape the machine. But if you are trying to… the machine will bang you up… Guaranteed.
- This expression “the sucker in the room” is form the 67 steps program… here is what the summary has to say about that step:
The nature of life is competitive, this isn’t necessarily negative… it’s just how it is.
You are the only person that truly has your best interest in mind. You must remember this as now you’re aware of cognitive bias and can use them to your advantage you must remember that at the same time others are trying to make your fall victim to cognitive biases, whether this be to help them or for their financial gain.
“if I don’t love me who will?”
“if you don’t know who the sucker in the room is you are the sucker.”
Charlie Munger, the billionaire, coined the lolapolooza effect – this is the combination of multiple biases combining into a force too strong for the majority of us to resist, regardless of how strong our willpower may be.
An auction is the perfect example of the lolapolooza effect, as it incorporates the following biases:
- Scarcity bias (there’s only one item and a limited amount of time to bid/buy it)
- Social proof bias (there’s other people there interested in purchasing and bidding on the same items as you)
- Authority bias (the auctioneer is physically positioned higher than you and is seen as an authority)
- Reward bias (the ‘feel good’ moment and dopamine release upon ‘winning’ regardless of whether this comes as a result of paying above market value)
Want to get the summaries? I sell them to you for $7… So you can see what you are missing if you are not in my 67 step coaching program.
- There is something I don’t know
that I am supposed to know.
I don’t know what it is I don’t know
and yet am supposed to know,
and I feel I look stupid
if I seem both not to know it
and not know what it is I don’t know.
Therefore, I pretend I know it.
This is nerve-racking
since I don’t know what I must pretend to know.
Therefore I pretend to know everything.
I feel you know what I’m supposed to know
but you can’t tell me what it is
because you don’t know
that I don’t know what it is.
You may know what I don’t know,
but not that I don’t know it,
and I can’t tell you.
So you will
- I like for myself The “School of Hard Knocks” an old-fashioned idiom referring to the unofficial and accidental course of study available via life’s tough experiences. The wisdom one gains through this alternate approach to education may be equal or even superior to the knowledge that comes from a formal university or training program.
- here is the summary of that step, from the 67 step summaries I offer at $7…
STEP 33 – TEACHING PIGS TO FLY & PUSHING ON STRINGS
The application of knowledge is key, not the acquisition.
It’s easy to learn things, it’s much harder (and less common) to go out and actually apply them.
A pig is someone that doesn’t know and doesn’t want to know.
An innocently innocent person is someone that doesn’t know but wants to know (thirst for knowledge).
Just like you cannot teach a real pig to fly, you cannot push on a string (strings can only be pulled!).
You can’t teach someone that isn’t ready to learn so don’t bother… sometimes you need to wait and let them come to you.
“There’s a fine line between impatient and too patient…”
Refer once again to the serenity prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
A proverbial pig can be seduced via reward (on your terms) or via pain & discomfort.