Full self-realization is hard… Even half is hard… even being on the path is hard. Partially because we don’t know how to do it. And partially because you prefer to be comfortable…
This article maps it all out… so you can choose. Choose to go for it or not… And, please don’t expect stuff you have read, hear, everywhere… If it worked, a lot more people would be fully self-realized.
What prevents you from full self-realization 1 and what could be your pivoting point?
Self-realization is rare. You’ll be surprised why… read on…
We don’t even agree about what it is… do we?
But I had an insight this past week: self-realization is when the two selves meet and start to work as a team, synergistically.
And that is rare.
The biggest trouble is that you cannot do it, the two selves cannot grow towards each other without expert guidance, mentors, for example.
If you look at the pictures of these caves where the icicle type of formation, and the column formation want to meet… Of course I am looking at it through my own human eyes, and yet they are a good illustration of what is happening.
You grow the self upwards, and you grow the delusional self downward, and hope that the two will meet while you are still alive.
As long as they are separate, they will still pull in different directions. The delusional self… the “precious I” will pull for self-protection, self-aggrandization, getting without work, entitlement, and separation.
The real self likes to work, likes to earn, likes to grow, likes to learn.
You see that the two meeting is almost impossible. And yet, some people manage…
Let’s examine what holds the two apart, what is the force that works against self-realization, and what does a mentor, a coach need to do to neutralize those forces.
Now, before I continue, just please know, that I can see 40% of the full picture… but what I see I see it… and that is good.
OK, what is the biggest enemy?
Margoczi talks about 8. FEELING TRAPS: 8.1 The desire trap, 8.2 The tension trap, 8.3 The fear trap, 8.4 The game trap, 8.5 The pain trap
Whether these five cover all the possible traps or not, I don’t know. Truth be told, I have gotten stuck on the desire trap… but now that I see that they prevent you becoming one with yourself, I am going to re-study them.
So in this article I will only talk about the desire trap, because that is what I already see well enough.
Here is what is a desire trap in a nutshell: you use your mind and its picture creating ability to imagine a future. They you decorate, embellish that future. They you experience the joy, the pleasure, the exhilaration that that future causes you… NOW. And then you don’t have to do anything other than close your eyes and you can have it. Not the reality of it, but the real feeling of it.
Reality is trickier: you actually have to do things with your hands, with your legs, with your brain. Imagining, in reality, will not make anything happen.
But because the delusional self already have the result it wants, it has no energy, no tension, no pain… so it won’t invest into bringing the illusion into reality… It got stuck there. In the mind where the desire is already fulfilled.
The two measures that spell out whether you are in a desire trap or not are the desire number and the ambition number.
The desire number is the delusional self’s and the ambition number belongs to the real self. The real self that knows that only work will produce value for themselves, and is aching to do the work as well.
So, this was the amount of knowledge I had a week ago.
And then, in a conversation, I started to see something that expanded what I can see to 40%: you, everyone, is equipped with the rudimentary ability to fulfill their destiny.
But for most people it remains rudimentary, because it needs to be cultivated.
For example Arnold Schwarzenegger: he had the muscle and bone structure to become Mr. whatever a body builder can become. He had the ability to derive pleasure from going beyond the pain point.
But had he listened to some commercial that said he should be an actor, or a politician, because that is the real accomplishment, and that is where the money is, he would have, likely, moved all his energy there, and never become Mr. Universe…
But he was lucky, someone told him that he could invest that energy into body building, and he listened.
I have a client who likes to look at things upside down. Walk backwards.
Building on that “liking” he will be able to build a life that is fully self-realizing.
My job is to find what is unusual about you.
I used to tell people: whatever is wrong with you is your strength… but of course you need to treat it that way.
My job is difficult: I need to tease out of you what is weird, unusual, counter-intuitive about you, and then help you to build a life on it so your two selves start working together, in synergy.
The “rule” teachers say you should live by is to build on your strengths. But I have seen enough people not seeing themselves, not knowing themselves, to see that you need someone else to look at you long enough so they can start to see what is your strength.
MY strength, believe it or not, has been dyslexia.
Without dyslexia I would have never become who I am today.
Some clients are slow… that is their saving grace.
It takes considerable work for me to dig out what will be your pivot, your turning point.
It has to be bad… counter intuitive, eh?
