You probably don’t know yourself as well as you think you do

You think you know. You think you know who you are, what is important to you, what you want, and what and who is running your life.

This is your approach towards life. Through what you know…

And your life is… eh, meh, at best just boring, not full of enjoyment. You don’t like yourself and you don’t like your life.

What if the only thing that is wrong with your life is your approach to things, approaching things through what you know… And this approach is the only reason you are not happy?

But the greatest mystery is water for the fish, air for the bird, and himself for a man.

One of the reasons you fumble and stumble and wonder, and seek, and are clueless, because you have a glitch in your world view.

It is not nature, it is nurture… you have been tirelessly and painstakingly trained to be a bumbling idiot.

Offended yet?

There are two ways to approach anything:

  • the first is what you prefer, and it’s your downfall… Definition. It’s hard, and it is like trying to fly to Hungary from New York with a flight plan that is your definition style… you’ll probably never get there.

Because no matter how many ways you tell the pilot where the tiny Central European country is… unless you also tell the pilot where it isn’t… he will never find it.

  • And this leads to the second approach: distinguishing.

Hungary is the tiny dot on the map of Europe that is enclosed by the countries Austria, Slovakia, the former Soviet Union, Romania, and the former Yugoslavia. It won’t matter that I don’t know the little countries, names that were born since I left Hungary in 1982…

The same approach in all of life, the what it isn’t approach is what intelligent people use to distinguish anything.

Here is a great marketing article about it… on how to sell your stuff.

Not you, not what they teach you. Neither in school, nor in business.

And the result: you don’t know who you are, you don’t know what you want, you don’t know what would make you happy.

They, your tormentors, even invented positive thinking, and law of attraction, and other happy horsesh!t to keep you wondering, and never finding.

They say: don’t think negative. And to boot, they say ‘lift your face to the light, and the darkness will disappear…’

The results are disastrous both on the level of the individual and the level of country, planet, race.

They say: don’t talk about what you don’t want… only pay attention to what you want… and stupid you obeys, because they must know what they are talking about… And they do… they want you to keep you from becoming you, becoming a person, who knows what they want.

Why? Happy people don’t go to church, happy people don’t shop till they drop.

They are happy being happy.

Many people want to find a meaning, a purpose for their lives. And they can’t: their approach is the shotgun approach: they talk about what they want.

A life is best defined by what you don’t want. What you are willing to stand up against. What you hate, despise.


Even my once home, Landmark Education, is on the side of keeping you stupid.

One of my biggest complaints against Landmark has been that their technology, invent a possibility for yourself and for your life is based on the shotgun method…

The reason your clarity in life is on the level of foggy is that you want to define things by saying what they are… by the yes.

I am not saying I am smarter than Landmark Education, I am saying that I didn’t even realize that this is what they were doing until just today.

I never did it their way… Why? Well, I am from Hungary, I am dyslexic, and anything normal is hard for me.

So when I started to dig into this ‘possibility’ business, I considered it a language learning issue: what the heck does that word even mean!

It really started early… there was this expression, ‘your thrown way of being’ that I pondered forever… in my first seminar.

That was the crucial point where Landmark and me, where ‘normal’ and me, said good bye to each other.

I spent all my time looking to find all the boundaries of a word, all the ways it didn’t mean ‘that’… and with that I started to grow, I started to learn me and reality.

You and I, when we consider learning, we never think that way. We learn additively… Even though the best way to learn is substractively. All your questions are designed to get closer to what something is… by finding out more ‘yes’ statements about it. Iteratively….

You’ll never get to accuracy and clarity that way.

Hungary is that little piece of land with 10 million inhabitants on the map. It is bordered by those five countries…

A circle is a piece of territory that is bounded by a line that each of the points on it are at equal distance from another point…

This methodology, you can call it inversion if you want, is NOT what science uses, at least not the sciences you read about.

You read about all the yes’s, and the truth value of what you read is all under 7%. This shotgun method gives you a low level of clarity, a level where you are a bumbling idiot.

In one famous Landmark seminar they were trying to teach you what possibility was… and they failed. I did that seminar three times, and coached people in it. Not one person was able to make heads or tails out of it. Even seminar leaders couldn’t ‘get it’… Because looking at what something isn’t is counter cultural…and seminar leaders are definitely not counter cultural, or Landmark wouldn’t pick them.

It did have an interesting and valid idea, but it flew in the face of the culture of looking for the yes.

It said, I say it in a language you can, hopefully, get: that if you know what you are looking at, by virtue of recognition, it isn’t a possibility.

  • You know what love is by virtue of recognition… but it isn’t love at all.
  • You know what freedom, liberty, justice is by virtue of recognition… but it is none of that.
  • And You know truth, reality by virtue of recognition… but it is not truth and it is not reality.

If you were a circus artist, a trapeze artist, you would be dead… because your accuracy is pitifully off.

You are trying to be smart by learning stuff that is irrelevant. Trivial pursuit stuff.

But in the matter of life, quality of life, in the matter of what you want, you are ignorant and you suffer.

You don’t know, and probably won’t know, even after reading this article, what could take you to clarity… because the ‘yes’ approach to life is so hammered into you, you can’t hear anything else.

Those of you who can… those of you I may be able to work with and take you someplace. I may be able to cause you to start finding instead of bumbling, and seeking.

In my coaching practice, I nudge people, like a mother would, without telling them exactly what to do.

Because once you think you know, you stop looking. You think you are there… but you may be even in another country… another continent.

So instead of looking for the boundaries, you are still looking at the content, which cannot be precise, and thus will lead you astray.

  • I see that is what you are doing when I ask you to do the ‘color exercise
  • I see that is what you are doing when I ask you to hear the voices and hear that they are not you. Hear the memes, and hear that you didn’t say that.
  • Hear your story and don’t hear that it never happened.
  • I see that is what you are doing when I ask you to become a value recognizer… you think you know what I am talking about.

I am working on a distinction ‘capture value’ and a whole new clarity is opening up for me. Because of the ‘inversion’ approach: I am looking for all the no’s to find the gold… not for some yellow metal.

Some old book, probably the bible talks about the strait and narrow.

Strait is not the same as straight… by the way, no matter what you have been thinking.

You get to the strait by stripping away all that is not the strait. Strait is the narrow pass between two landmasses… Everything that is land is not the strait.

You get enough points on the landmass to eliminate and you get to the strait.

You can define yourself, the strait that is you, by defining what you are not, what you don’t like, what you don’t want, what you abhor, disagree with.

Is it a fast process? No. But it will eliminate the pretense, the lies, the desire trap, the fear trap, and will leave you with you.

You define what you want to do with your life by defining the strait: what you don’t want to do. Who you don’t want to deal with. It will leave you with a strait and narrow path you’ll love.

Instead of the method you use that leave you high and dry… Never fully happy, never fully you.

Need a workshop to clarify the method?

Let’s do it… How about Wednesday or Thursday next week? Please let me know in a comment.

And here is the kind of stuff mainstream is filling your head with:

I just listened to this article. Truth value of the article below is 5%.

I could not make heads of tails out of the article… everything and its opposite… bringing no clarity. ugh.

They hook your curiosity, because who wouldn’t want to know themselves better… and give you confusion, unclarity, crap.

This is what your idle curiosity based reading normally does to you: leave you worse off than you were before.

In the Inner Authority course we practice the strait and narrow method of clarification, so you can have a reliable inner guidance system…

An inner guidance system that avoids the pitfalls of the culture, tradition, your beliefs, even the so-called science that isn’t… so 70-99% of all your decisions won’t be wrong, harmful, and misleading… so you can finally know what you want, and get it. Exactly.

Sign up to the Saturday session where all we are going to do is get in tough with the body, the senses, the feelings… It should be both fun, enjoyable, and enlightening: you don’t know, for the most part, what you feel… because you have already jumped to the interpretation… so your feelings cannot guide you.

Find out how much you know yourself
It’s a workshop. Maybe the first of many… on Saturday, April 9, 11 am EDT

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

3 thoughts on “You probably don’t know yourself as well as you think you do”

  1. Hello mam !
    I assume i understood this article only by 10%
    Thanks to you that i have a clue now that i dont understand things as they actually are .

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