Does life behave like a kayak or an automobile?

As I was answering a coaching student’s post on my Reclaim your life program, I had an insight.

The model you use to change your life, to make decision, to live your life is the model of the automobile.

Narrow streets, you make right angle turns, the motive power in the engine obeys your steering.

Life doesn’t work like an automobile. Life is a lot more like kayaking.

The way you adjust your direction is with tiny shifts of your paddle… no big moves are effective.

If you try to make big moves, and I am guessing you are, then you are living an unbearable life that actually doesn’t change, or may even change to worse resulting from your “steering”.

Wild turns, quick decision, anything quick makes your life turn into sh*t. Guaranteed.

Slow, consistent, persistent, and steady is the key to a life that responds well to your gentle nudges in the right direction.

There are no “experiences” in that life, instead it’s humming along.

Boring, you say? Consider saying: “I am boring.” Consider saying: “My life is empty of substance and I want to fill it with drama”.

If those two sentences don’t “arrest” you, and make you consider filling yourself and your life with the substance, then you are really on the wrong website because that is the ONLY thing we talk here about: how to live a life filled with substance. So please do yourself a favor and go away. Now. Gone? Good. Now I can speak to the people who want what I have to offer.

Consider that how do anything is how you do everything.

Why? Because the root/seed level of everything is your world view.

The model you use for your life is your world view.

The world view “life is like an automobile” is giving you the empty and jerky ride you are experiencing.

It makes you look at every article, every book, every advice, every insight as a quick flip of your steering wheel… only to find yourself with a life that remained the same… or got worse.

I remember when I first discovered that life is a design job… and my basic training was being a designer.

You design mini, tiny steps taken over time to shape your life.

Another way to look at this is looking at life, yourself, as a block of misshaped marble… that will need lots of tiny shaving and chipping away to become a David of Michelangelo.

And because of your life model you are impatient with yourself, with your loved ones, with your employees, even with your pets.

They are supposed to do things your way because you said so.

But people and changing is like that kayak trip in that two-seater kayak… very hard to direct, and thus hard to stay in love with the other during and after that trip.

Your world view: life is an automobile, other people are like an automobile… is killing you, killing your peace, well-being, and ultimately make you end up with a life you don’t love, you don’t like, and with people you miss when they are not there, but resent and be irritated by when they are there.

And when you look around, everyone is like you.

  • Scientists… when they come up with a bombastic but near-sighted discovery.
  • Nutritionists that DECLARE what is good for you and what is not,
  • politicians,
  • your mother,
  • your best friend,
  • the supermarkets,
  • everyone.
It is not only that you take very information that comes to you as a call for a wild turn, they are even worded as a wild turn.

And you teach it to your young… and tell everyone who is willing to listen. 1

In my health consulting practice, you need to see the world as kayaking. Slow, steady, occasionally adjusted, eventually taking you to exactly where you wanted to go.

  • The water… 90% of buyers abandon the water… because it takes more than a day to get it done.
  • The diet… 90% of buyers of my consulting abandon the diet… because it is more than one step, because it ask them to change their habitual ways of being.
  • The 67 steps… 90% of the participants make wild statements, hope for one wild move… and the system of about 100 principles never makes a difference for them.

The fixing mentality and the wild turns mentality are one and the same.

This was just a slightly different angle to look at the same unproductive behavior, a behavior that kills life. Your life.

The design skill needed to take your life to where you’d rather have it go, comes handy in designing the tiny steps that will do that.

I call them spiritual practices. Why spiritual? Because they are so small, they can be called invisible.

And many of them, actually the majority of them, are designed to change the root/seed level, so they are invisible and are directed at the invisible.

The root/seed level is never visible… not to the naked eye.

I have a unique talent AND 35 years of practice, AND my fine tuned empath skills to help you make the invisible visible.

You can’t change what you can’t see. But once you see it, it is a design job to create practices to gently, gradually, lovingly change the root level. Your world view.

Oh, and that job is never done.

Here is a third way of looking at you and your life: the invisible writing on the wall… thousands of writings. The “backdrop” of your life.

And 10-20 of those writings need to be changed if you want to live a life that is worth living…

Here is one of those writings on everyone’s wall: I want you to love me for myself.

I had that part of my backdrop for about 40 years…

But given that you don’t know who you are, that you actually don’t have a Self, that is asking too much of the world. Not even mentioning that “the other” are also the same, no Self, no love between their two selves, only judgment, and they are all about themselves…

How much do you think they can see you for who you are… and then love you for who you are? None, I say.

So I managed to remove that sentence from my wall. I managed to say: I get paid/appreciated for the value they see I provide them.

Not the value I create… the value they can see.

Today’s humanity may know the price of everything (most not even that) but the value of nothing.

So they won’t even appreciate you for the value you provide because they cannot see it.

I have suggested to a few of my students to become value recognizers. You can’t recognize something you can’t see… so ultimately I asked them to see value where they haven’t seen value before.

The result: one person made some headway and then dropped it…

So do you think you’ll ever be loved for who you are? Or even for the value you intend to provide? No chance.

Some of you, in your vocation, provide value. But if I asked: what is the value, you’ll talk about yourself… It’s the wrong place…

So, you see, that removing those invisible writings from the wall, your backdrop, the backdrop of your life is mandatory. And it’s slow, and it is gently chipping away at the rock.

So you can become that beautiful person who is underneath it all. Invisible.

That is the real meaning: you are a spiritual being… not functional, not showing, invisible. 2

You need to dig that out from under all that crap.

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  1. Ever wonder when you stopped paying any attention to your inborn guidance? Your senses?

    this video shook me to my core

    These six year olds already eat by their minds, by the Tree of Knowledge. Their feelings are supressed, they are looking in their minds to know what they want.

  2. Judging from the number of “hits” my site gets for “butterfly language”, many people consider being a spiritual being a butterfly state. Leaving the earthbound existence of the worm, the caterpillar. But true to form, they hope that it takes nothing more than an abrakadabra, tada! quick move… If that’s you, go back to the beginning of this article… or just leave and keep dreaming about flying. Or talking about flying. Just please know: talking about flying isn’t… Your gurus talk about flying, but they have never flown. They just lie… to you. They themselves know they are flying and they hate themselves for it.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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