What got me out of that direction down to desperation, ultimately, a Carlos Castaneda 1 quote:
The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same
But, not so obviously, what Carlos Castaneda may be suggesting is that you practice positive thinking, which is a thoughtless practice... makes you really one-track minded.
So what can I do?
First, I need to get, again, that there is never anything wrong in reality. So if I notice something that makes me miserable, feel bad, etc. I have some words coupled with what is happening.
The words come as an interpretation of what is happening, and 70% of the time it is wrong... wrong, as in not accurate.
Every interpretation is, at best, a close shot.
And if that is so, I have a lot of leeway to look at what's happening, without an already always interpretation, so I can see what else could be happening.
The thing I was driving myself into despair was about the not enough response to my articles, and to my offers.
- People don't like me.
- I am too strong.
- My offer is too strong.
- I want a commitment too fast.
- I have to change.
- I have to earn a living some other way...
...all struggling to dominate my day. All inside: there is something wrong with me... and I have to fix it.
I decide to look where it is invisible to me... outside of where I have looked before.
I decide to investigate why it is that people want what I promise, the end result, and yet they are unwilling to put themselves into the seats and do the work that is required.
I explore this question and look deep into it in my podcast audio on this post.
PS: epistemic curiosity is a hunger for knowledge, not an craving for answers, cheap tricks, easy parlor games, etc. aka CHEAP CLOSURE NOW!