If you call something that it is not, you take away the power from the individual… and set them up to pay through the nose, and still remain the same.
Some people are masterful with frames, and their wealth is a testament to that… Tony Robbins is one of these guys.
I have been listening to this investment banker, Oren Klaff, who wrote a book (Pitch Anything) and is now speaking to crowds successfully. 1
His job is do or die… raise the money or die… every day.
Or as a public speaker, raise the enthusiasm of the crowd… or die.
What’s his secret?
Frames. Controlling the frames inside which people listen to him.
Frames can be changed, because they are not fixed, they are just words!
Frames, if you want to be equal to life, if you want to be part of evolution, if you want to have a chance for more, better, or different, have to be changed.
But, alas, most people, unless they are enlightened about frames, are stuck with one fixed frame and one fixed attitude, and they live life out of that one fixed frame…
That fixed frame is not good news: it talks about them as not enough, not good enough, not smart enough, not valued enough, not loved enough, not significant enough, not mattering enough… and life becomes about that, or prove that they are enough… while the frame says: they are not.
The first frame we call “your case” is created at the first time your cage was rocked…
We distinguish it in the Playground. It gives a gloomy mood to all of life: everything that happens from that point on is inside that frame, proving that you were right: you are not something enough.
It also does one other than: it makes all of life about you. You have no ability, no desire, no inclination, no curiosity to move your feet to the right or to the left, to look at life from another angle, to know how else life could occur from that different angle.
I have been experimenting with methods, spiritual practices, that sneak in that other angle, so the fixed frame can be optional, not the only option.
Unless you can own that case as a frame you made up yourself, you won’t be able to swap it out for other frames that are more conducive to happiness, producing results in any area of life.
I attract a disproportionate number of people whose case is that they are slighted, they don’t get their due, and are angry or resigned about that.
Why? Because inside that case, they are dependent on someone giving it to them… and they see me as very giving… a godsend…
As long as that frame is what they see life through, I will be a horrible disappointment for them: Everything I offer depends on their willingness to apply themselves… to make it work for themselves, to co-create with me, with the energies, with the new knowledge.
What if your frame is a different flavor of victimhood?
Victimhood is, in broad strokes, if you look at the world through the frame: something was done to me. It can be anything…
Sometimes you construct a frame on top of the original one, victim, and the second frame is an answer to the question: how do I fix this? How do I win in life?
Werner Erhard had a profound statement once: every human, when you peel off the layers, like the layers of an onion, has a core, that is a desire, a need to be significant, to matter, to make a difference by being alive.
When that need feels blocked, the only paths for the person to take are either the criminal path, or the “forever teenager” path… let’s have fun. Cheap, meaningless, self-devaluating fun. 2
Sometimes the forever teenager is the kind of fun, where it shouts out: look how smart I am… but there is no depth, no self-worth, it is still the same thing: let’s have fun.
One must not forget, that the root of both behaviors is a frame… not reality. The frame says: something was done to you… something bad, and the only way you saw to compensate for it is what you chose… no effort, because teenagers don’t do effort.
So what can you do, now that you know that you have a fixed frame (or a stack of frames) that impede your growth, impede your success and happiness?
Let me start in small, and then widen the picture from there?
In every conversation, in every interaction people already have a “frame”, a context, a way to view what is coming. It comes with being human… maybe even with being alive. I used to have cats. Going to the vet had a “frame”, “I am going to be hurt…” for the cat. For me: “the cat is going to give me a hard time…” or “how much is it going to cost?” or “will the cat pee on me again?”
For the vet… I have no idea… maybe “here is another hysterical female with their favorite monster…” lol.
Lots of frames… most are hidden, maybe hidden from the person who has them too. 3
OK… back to topic: You can only have one frame or frame-set (context) at any one time. It is either yours or it comes from society.
Most people know nothing of their frame, most people know nothing about anything… and you are probably “most people” in that.
OK, what I just wrote is not exactly true. The truth is: the frame looks like the truth… and it doesn’t look like a frame.
Without the ability to observe the frame and what it does to your reality, without the ability to create a new frame, the ability to hold onto a frame, and the ability to convey your frame in a way that others “buy” it… you are probably living a life of quiet desperation.
Communicating the frame is what is called enrollment… and to do it well: it is the minimum requirement for winning in life
Why? People see the world through the frame they are either given or created themselves. Always, no exception. You cannot see the world different from your frame. Because the frame answers the questions: why? what does it mean? what for?
In enrollment, someone with a higher vision, or a different vision, speaking eloquently, replaces, temporarily your filter with their own created filter… All masters of persuasion have done that… for good and for bad.
All frames are created by words… All frames are on the words side of reality.
In the Playground, we work with frames. We look at frames that are given by the automatic words in the “meaning” side of things (the facts side never changes, and yet, with the words the whole thing, we call occurrence, changes!). We’ll look at those words as frames, and watch the whole picture, we call occurrence, change, magically, in front of our very eyes.
Of course for the whole picture to change, you need to start mastering frames, recognize frames, invent new frames, say things that change the frame.
If you are too invested in how the world “IS”, how you “ARE”, in the Tree of Knowledge version of reality, then you won’t be willing to play… You could, but you’ll consider it unsafe.
Then you’ll automatically disqualify yourself from the Playground… hope this time around no one will disqualify themselves. I’ll do what I can and more, but it is really up to the participants.
By the way, although it is invisible for the participant, it is very visible to me what is your frame with regards to the course.
Where do I look?
I look at how many times you have watched each session, so you can internalize the distinctions.
If your frame is “I am smart” “I understand” or “I don’t have time” or anything that prevents you from repeatedly watching the replays, then chances are that when the time comes, you will disqualify yourself… like you have disqualified yourself from tons of good stuff you wanted but were unwilling to invest time and energy and heart into them.
I also listen to some of the partnership calls. If what you say is trying to repeat the course with your own words, instead of looking at how your life can change given what we learned, then your frame says something like “I need to be smart and get the words right” instead of putting the new frames the course gives to look at your life through… which shows me that you cannot grasp the importance of frames… you are blind to them.
In the meantime, in private one-on-one conversations I establish practices with private clients, to change the stuck frames… If it works, I’ll make it available to all.
Not an easy thing to do… but I am seeing some success.
PS: Most programs sell you with a better frame you already have, but once you paid… you are back to where you were… and can’t use the program.
Most motivational speakers manage to temporarily change your frame… but three days later you are back to where you were… miserable.
My aim is to hand over all the power… My success, what I consider success, if you never need my help ever again… because you can do it for yourself.
If you want to read a book or two… what Oren Klaff calls frame, others call context. The two words mean the same… but there are more books on context than on frames. Meager pickings… :-(
- For a really long time my main choice went toward the illegal, off-color, not honest direction… and then when I learned to set my context I started to walk the path of strait and narrow… It wasn’t easy, it isn’t easy, but it has more rewards by far. I have no morality about your choice… I don’t look at the world through morality… right/wrong, good and evil. I am more pragmatic than that. I look at things: does it take you closer to becoming all you can be… or not. I am amoral… whatever that means.
- I was pondering one this morning for the first time… Tai was talking about the parent investing in their offspring time, energy, care, so when they are old and feeble, the offspring will take care of them.
Where is the love? I ask, and feel cheated, duped, manipulated, and angry.
This arrangement is not something I’d agree to, especially with the societal pretense that parents love their children… Hey, if this is the underlying frame, then they love them, like the witch loved Hansel and Gretchen… fattening them up for dinner!
Of course now that I am old and feeble, and need help, need support, I am a little more understanding, and maybe see where the reciprocal altruism may be a good thing, at least in general, but MY personal culture, my personal frame of what parent-child relationship should be, this unagreed to arrangement is a huge insult to…
Evolution, human evolution, is not supported by this arrangement… in fact 20-30 years of the offspring’s life is used up to take care of their ailing parents, instead of growing, investing that same time in their own personal evolution.
But, of course, who am I to say that I am right and everyone else is wrong?
But if you look, nature has measures to thin the herd by predators going for the slow, the weak, the old.
Only humans take on, voluntarily, their aging, their useless, their feeble, by applying the frame: you have to. It is decent. or however they force you, morally, to act against yourself and evolution.
Evolution’s engine is the Selfish Gene… the gene that wants more life through more new life (progeny) and through more resources (wealth), not through turning around and funneling the resources to the old.