You are unaware of your effect on your world. The world sees your dragon tail effect… only you don’t. You are a lot like a 3-year old who covers their eyes and thinks they can’t be seen… 1
I remember when I first heard this warning back in 2003…
I was in the Partnership Exploration Course in Los Angeles, and Angela, the course leader asked the hundred or so most advanced participants in the entire Landmark Education, us, to take responsibility for our “tail”…
She asked us to imagine ourself a fire breathing dragon.
A fire breathing dragon has a long swishy muscular tail that causes more death and destruction than the front. And that is because the dragon is not aware of its tail. Just like your dog isn’t aware of its tail… it is only aware of its front.
And YOU are not aware of your tail…
When they asked us to imagine ourselves and take responsibility of our tail and its swishing… the damage it can cause… or the good it can cause… I had a “Road to Damascus” moment: 2 I suddenly understood a lot about my life.
I always considered myself a good person, and yet I had destruction, tears, in my wake… Wake, as the wake of a boat in the water…
Getting conscious of the front (intention) and back (unconscious effect on the back end) is not a fun thing to do.
You want to be the person who you intend to be, the good, the nice, the helpful, the whatever nice words you have yourself to wrap in, like a Christmas present, a gift to the world.
But your real self is the unconscious damage you cause in your wake, the unconscious damage your tail is causing.
Other people can see it, even if they have no idea what they are seeing.
Here is the beginning of the article that prompted me to write about this… Like everyone, or most everyone, you have been focusing on the front end, the words, the mannerisms, the lies, and maybe seeing a little bit of the effect of the tail… European nations’ contempt to America and Americans… if you travel, or if you have friends, clients who are from Europe, you have been getting a feel, that they see you as the representative of that bullying, belligerent, irresponsible, intellectually lazy, self-obsessed, etc. nation whose figurehead is Mr. Trump.
The Real Crisis of the Trump Era
In the end, 2018 was not the year of U.S. foreign policy apocalypse. Normally, this would not be a cause for celebration. But given the anxiety about President Donald Trump and what his administration might do—pull out of NATO, start a war with Iran or North Korea—it was something to be grateful for. In fact, Trump’s first two years in office have been marked by a surprising degree of stability. The president has proved himself to be what many critics have long accused him of being: belligerent, bullying, impatient, irresponsible, intellectually lazy, short-tempered, and self-obsessed. Remarkably, however, those shortcomings have not yet translated into obvious disaster.
But the surface-level calm of the last two years should not distract from a building crisis of U.S. foreign policy, of which Trump is both a symptom and a cause. The president has outlined a deeply misguided foreign policy vision that is distrustful of U.S. allies, scornful of international institutions, and indifferent, if not downright hostile, to the liberal international order that the United States has sustained for nearly eight decades. The real tragedy, however, is not that the president has brought this flawed vision to the fore; it is that his is merely one mangled interpretation of what is rapidly emerging as a new consensus on the left and the right: that the United States should accept a more modest role in world affairs.
One can and should hope that the forces that have constrained Trump so far will continue to limit the damage of his remaining years in office, but the push for a U.S. retreat from the world did not begin with the president and will not end with his exit. The crisis of the United States’ post–Cold War foreign policy has been a long time in the making, and it will last beyond Trump.
Although the worst has not come to pass, the president’s foreign policy has been curious and in some ways
This article isn’t about Trump, by the way. This article is about you.
It wants to wake you up, shake you up, and suggest that you start looking at what you are creating, unconsciously.
I can see glimpses of it in how your children behave, how your spouse feels not cared for, how you don’t notice that you have barged in to your client uninvited, how you are showering people with your brilliance causing alienation, or how your gifts are received.
You have no idea what happens over there… you are so enamored with the self-image, the intention, the front.
The Starting Point Measurement number that indicates the level of your destruction with the tail is your about-me number.
Trump’s is 90%. What is yours? 3
If you want experience it directly, imagine that you are standing behind a cardboard cutout of yourself. Now go closer, go closer, until you get that cardboard cover as much of the world as the number in your Starting Point Measurements suggest.
Many of you need to tiptoe or do other contortions with your body to see anything other than the cardboard at the edges.
This is your relationship to the world. You say you care, you say you love, you say you serve, but that is all in your imagination.
In reality, you can’t see the person you say you care about… you only see yourself.
When your vibration drops around the holidays, when your imagine loving, caring your relatives, your family, fancying yourself a part… what really is happening is that you enlarge your about-me portion of the view, and make it all about yourself.
That is what makes the vibration drop.
The famous Desire Trap creates the drop of the vibration the exact same way.
Creating a big hairy audacious goal… ditto.
Every action you take, when your about-me number is high, is misdirected, and causes damage, to yourself and others. The tail in effect. It slaps the other person… and you don’t know it.
I am still a little stuck on the conversation I had a few days ago with the LinkedIn marketing specialist, that didn’t go well.
I mulled it over with friends and clients a few times. It was a “great” example of high about-me score, the unaware of your tail’s activity.
Almost everything I do, almost everything I sell is outside of the “it makes sense” dominion of other people… and feels, therefore, threatening.
We all say we want to learn, but we all lie. We don’t. Learning anything new is a threat.
In that state of fear we do, with our tails, terrible things.
Since that conversation I have been unwilling to learn anything, unwilling to do anything to increase my business. I am licking my wounds made by the tail action of that LinkedIn expert.
I am not known to go into that scared place easily, but I do, occasionally, give people a chance to drive me there.
What precedes it, always, is me deciding that I can help someone. Or that I like someone. All front end delusions.
Fancying myself only my front is now clearly an unconscious, irresponsible act. Owning all my power is my job, and owning how scary it is is part of it.
If you have been in my trainings long enough to know things others don’t, to be ways others can’t imagine, to have powers that others would like to have… I recommend that you start owning your power, and own that unless you know how to prepare people for it, unless you know how to make people ask for your assistance, you are feared instead of what you want to be: revered, respected, grateful to.
Given that this has just become clear to one of my students, that his best intentions to help are not well-received, I am willing to start training you in the art and science of preparing people’s “listening” so they can hear you largely without fear, without feeling attacked, without feeling that you are overpowering them, without feeling that you are suggesting that they are worthless, insignificant, and in need of your wisdom…
Send me an email. Put “communication-training” in the subject line. If I get enough applicants, I will do a training course on that. A course that will cost money, not a freebie.
It may also include how to reduce the size of your about-me score… Because without that you may not be able to use the training.
The people who don’t want what you have to offer can be your children, your spouse, your parents, your in-laws, or clients… The method is to train you on the strait and narrow of communication, so they can hear you, so they can want what you have to offer, without manipulation, lying, or other shenanigans.
- Awareness is what you can see. Your awareness level is another Starting Point Measurement…
By Joanna Goddard in https://cupofjo.com/2012/11/why-do-kids-cover-their-eyes-when-hiding/
You know how children often cover their eyes when they want to hide? Well, Cambridge researchers wanted to discover why, and here’s an amazing quote from their findings…
“In both studies so far, when the children thought they were invisible by virtue of their eyes being covered, they nonetheless agreed that their head and their body were visible. They seemed to be making a distinction between their ‘self’ that was hidden, and their body, which was still visible. Taken together with the fact that it was the concealment of the eyes that seemed to be the crucial factor for feeling hidden, the researchers wondered if their invisibility beliefs were based around the idea that there must be eye contact between two people—a meeting of gazes—for them to see each other (or at least, to see their ‘selves’).”
- Road to Damascus refers to a sudden turning point in one’s life. It’s in reference to the conversion to Christianity of the apostle Paul while literally on the road to Damascus from Jerusalem. Prior to that moment, he had been called Saul, and was a Pharisee who persecuted followers of Jesus.
What is a Damascene moment?Thus the phrase ‘a Damascene conversion’ is used to describe a person’s complete change of life or vocation as a result of a revelatory experience which overturns his or her previous belief or commitment. The interviewer or reporter has adapted that phrase into a ‘Damascene moment‘
- Get your about-me number,
measure #11 with all the other numbers of your Starting Point Measurements