Delusion of choice, bread of shame, perpetration-withhold

Dynamics in the invisible reality

I am like a dog with a bone… and this bone, even though I have talked about it, is going to get some chewing done on… because it is coming up and is in my face.

OK, what am I talking about?

We have been talking about reality… a lot, but mostly we have been talking about the visible part of reality, what the Martian can see.

Now, that is just great, but what about the invisible part of reality, the more than 90% of reality?

Really good and tricky question. The invisible part is, by the way, the “don’t know that you don’t know” part of reality.

But, luckily, we do know some stuff from that invisible part due to some incredibly observant people who can connect the dots… visible, invisible, principles that are true in either area.

The entire work of Landmark Education is about that… the invisible principles, the invisible dynamic, that are also true in the visible. It is due to Werner Erhard’s work… whether the principles came from his brain, or he found them… I really don’t know.

And many of those distinctions in the invisible reality have been taken a lot further by me in 37 years.

If I needed to look for One Thing I have a talent for, I would say it’s distinguishing invisible principles.

A perfect match for someone mildly autistic, who can see stuff other people miss.

But, like most everything we deal with, things that we dig out of the invisible, seem to have a life of their own, and they appear to be shape shifters… look and feel different, depending on the environment.

One of these principles I thought I have dealt with, licked it, annihilated it, just raised its ugly head, and I wasn’t prepared for it.

The principle is called Bread of Shame, coupled with another called perpetration-withhold.

It is a Kabbalistic principle… meaning from the Kabbalah.

Make no mistake — nothing is free in this world. Nothing. We either pay now or we pay later with some form of chaos in our life. Nothing is free.

Bread of Shame is a fundamental Kabbalistic concept and it is a fact and law of this universe. Bread of Shame means we receive nothing in this physical dimensions known as planet earth without earning it. Why?

Because we, the souls of humanity, told the Creator we want to earn and become the very cause and creators of the fulfillment we receive. You see, there is something far more profound and infinitely greater than having endless paradise. What is that?

It’s creating and becoming the cause of the paradise that we are experiencing — instead of having it handed to us for free.

You can see that the New Age/Law of Attraction/Manifestation teachings trick people into wanting something for nothing, that they don’t have to earn what they want. But this is not true, in fact it is harmful. It activates bread of shame.

The higher your desire number, especially when it’s coupled with a low ambition number (the ambition number shows how much of what you want you are willing to cause, willing to work for) the more you are prone to Bread of Shame coupled with the perpetration/withhold dynamic.

So how does this come about?

Someone wants to give, because they have a lot to give.

The high desire person likes to receive… they are reaching for it.

But Bread of Shame activates the Perpetration-withhold… ¹ and it creates anger/hate blaming it on the giver. Because the recipient receives too much unearned.

Now, Kabbalah says that the recipient needs to manage their receiving, but they don’t… they won’t.

In my experience, the giver needs to be responsible for the pain their giving causes, the hate they cause, and offer the recipient ways to reciprocate, to earn what they are receiving.

In my zeal to give all I’ve got, I have been forgetting to do that.

This past Wednesday, the day or reckoning for me, I realized that I never communicated how to earn all that you get and didn’t earn.

The Playground is one program I severely underprice, it should be about two thousand dollars for the year, roughly ten times more than it is.

And most of my coaching is severely underpriced… so I need to either limit the time I give, or ask for a compensation commensurate, corresponding in size or degree; in proportion, to my investment, and is not necessarily money.

So what can be a good compensation from you for what you get.

The world teaches you to say thank you. Your thank you is worthless. They are just words. I can hear that you either received no value, or don’t want to acknowledge that you have.

• I have one student who, for months, was listening to and chopping up my Sunday Rants, a private conversation I have every Sunday. What she cut out are segments that can be listened to as independent podcasts. She did it for no compensation, other than what she could say she got out of doing it.

Today she is able to get what she is getting in the Playground, and she is able to be genuinely grateful not only for the program, but for the partner call and her partner. Her vibration is 200 now, while it was in the dumps before our “exchange” of energies. No bread of shame there… no perpetration-withhold.

• Another student is meticulous of paying for every muscletest, every advice, and occasionally she sends me gifts that are quite valuable. Her vibration is also 200.
• Another way to compensate for what you have gotten is supporting me in what is important to me.

Giving some time where you are not the recipient but the giver.

One example of this is the Talk to me calls on the last Wednesday of the month.

It’s been many months that none of the recipients of my care, coaching, attention showed up there. I have had many calls where one person showed up. I don’t mind talking to that person who did show up: every conversation is delightful to me, but it’s an echo thing: if you don’t give back to the person who gives you all they got, you are getting dangerously close to bread of shame… and perpetration-withhold.

So let me explain this Perpetration-withhold dynamic.

You feel, you consider something you did or do, as a perpetration. It could be thinking angry thoughts. It can be gossiping, blaming, railing against someone. Or it can be something more overt… like stealing, not keeping your promise, promising but not delivering, cheating, lying, etc.

Any action YOU consider harmful, even as you are doing it.

And god knows, I make people angry, so this probably happens to my students a lot.

Then you don’t come clean about it, you withhold the truth from me.

No big deal, right? But the inner dynamic dares to differ. You start to cover up your perpetration with anger. Not at yourself, no. At me. It may grow into hatred, blame. Now everything is my fault.

Cutting your nose in spite of your face… Your integrity falls through the floor. Your vibration falls through the floor. You are punishing me through getting really miserable.

And that is the dynamic.

So what can you learn from this?

Feeling angry is normal… withholding it is harmful. So just tell me: I am really angry at you… and we can clear the air.
And feeling you are getting too much, feeling the burden of bread of shame: just ask how you can compensate, even out the scales. We’ll start with your empty promises, I can almost guarantee it.

Certain soul corrections are more prone to this dynamic than others.

If you have the desire trap, as a major component of your soul correction, then you are definitely more prone to it than other people.

“Sexual energy”, the soul correction, is all about this dynamic.

My younger brother, for years, depended on my generosity for his income: I sent him money every week, and then caught myself, and “hired” him, to do some work for me. I didn’t need his work, and it took me more time to create assignments for him that it took for him to do, and they were of no real value to me.

Then I realized that he was watching soccer games while “working” and started to damage my site’s reputation in the search engines, etc. I fired him.

He is so angry at me, that we haven’t spoken for years, and probably will die without ever speaking again.

It is all soul correction of the “sexual energy”. Even as a child his motto was: “It is my due” whatever it was, candy, or anything. And he also snubs my older brother, before that he snubbed my father… He will accept (take) and not give.

There is a wonderful test you can do with yourself or with another: call them a zebra, and see how they take it, how they react.

Then call them what you feel their worst thing is… in the case of a “sexual energy” person, tell them that they are a taker. You won’t hear the end of it. They will be offended. Personally offended.

Call a “Finish what you start” person “all haughty talk, no production” and they will be offended.

Each soul correction has its code word… The real soul correction.

Unless you are in action to correct that one thing, which start with embracing it, owning it, and allow consciousness to see it 360 degrees, your vibration will never rise permanently.

For me what there was to get, being a soul correction “Forget Thyself” is that my attitude in teaching, talking, is, “I know and you don’t, and I’ll tell you”. Superiority colored with condescension.

You can only imagine how ineffective I was with coaching until consciousness managed to rein it in most of the time. It didn’t change my base nature, it changed my attitude, but it is still work.

Your soul correction will not go away. And with doing what would correct it, your life CANNOT change to the better.

1. Perpetration-withhold- Part of the mechanism is to make sure someone else is upset

   Feelings of:
   Guilt / Embarrassment
   Suppression
   Low Energy
   Being Tired
   Shame

   Being caught being inauthentic, being caught in a lie.

   One of the most difficult places to be in, you don’t want to deal with it.

   We create a smokescreen and lie to cover up lies

   We create upset to focus the attention on the upset and off the perpetration-withhold

   We blame someone else, and then create an upset.

   Once you see the design of the upsets you can take responsibility for your perpetration-withhold

   Distinguish your perpetration-withholds
   Complete them / clean them up / take responsibility

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar View all posts by Sophie Benshitta Maven