The latest call I listened to was a workshop style call for the upcoming course, back in 2013, Called the Pebble In Your Shoe.
I started to see something I could not even fathom six years ago: that we, the current humanity, deny having anything good on ourselves... expect the fake goodness we may pretend.
Mind you, not everybody.
On humanity' scale the number of people who are willing to recognize, honor, and act on their higher self is 1%.
This seems to be the trend: the Light is losing all ground to the Darkness.
Why that is?
I have a hunch.
This morning, in my Sunday Rant I shared with my partner on the call, that what is there, fueling desire to receive for the self alone is a sense that you don't have enough. You don't have enough of you, or time, of money, or energy, of love to give... you don't even have enough for yourself.
Back in 2003 when I was first exposed to the thoughts of Kabbalah, I was asked to donate money with the intention to circulate the money.
I literally didn't have enough, but I was willing to experiment.
I signed a regular donation agreements, and the miracles started to happen.
I made my donation, all of it, back, in some unexpected way within a month or two of starting it... even before I gave it all.
But more importantly, I got that when you live and advised by scarcity thinking, you start to shrink, pull back from life, and start only thinking about yourself, of what you need, of what's wrong with you, the world, and with other people.
I slowly started to get the idea, the distinction of what is desire to receive for the self alone, and how one can desire to receive for the sake of sharing.
The chief teacher called the process "spiritual greed", the giving with the intention to circulate the good energy, that will pay you back is spades, and everyone else while it's at it.
It, this principle of giving more than it's comfortable with the intention to circulate, not with the intention of feeling good about myself, has completely changed my life.
At the time I did massage part time. I didn't just give a good massage, I gave love, appreciation, personhood to every person who came to me.
The secret was giving without expecting any returns. Giving of myself, giving love, appreciation, care, attention, undivided attention... I never had a stray thought in my head while I was giving a massage.
That is where I learned and practiced to control my attention, gently.
I never judged, never cringed, never made anyone feel less than wanted... and I had clients with missing limbs, with severe skin ailments, with morbid obesity, maybe even bad smell.
I am not a motherly person, but I was the mother they never had... accepting them fully who they were, and who they weren't.
I never did the work for money... and I got paid. I did the work like Roark in The Fountainhead: I had clients so I can work.
Express the soul's desire to make the world a beautiful place.
You know, it is all in a day's work... An hour is 60 minutes, whether you spend it in your head, whether you spend it brightening another person's life.
I choose brightening.
It seems that I am part of a small minority on the planet.
I am sharing the call that drove up these thoughts with you... enjoy.
here is the video version