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Want to change your future? You’ll need to change your past… Your future will automatically change with it
The full title of the Playground course is: Playground: it’s never too late to have a happy childhood.
Why is that significant? And what the heck does that even mean?
The past is the past, and you cannot change it, they say. but if you look in history books, you’ll see that the past does change… depending on the point of view of the historian…
Reality is collective hunch at best…
…but the visible, perceivable, three-dimensional reality looks different depending on the vantage point… depending on the context… depending on what criteria you examine it by.
In the Playground we re-write your history. We rewrite who you are, historically, who you are for yourself, who you are for others…
We rewrite history not in a fancy, inventive, ‘you create your life’ kind of way… we actually go back to root incidents, and look at them. We look at them through different filters. We look at them through using different invisible dynamics of reality as filters to look through.
‘If I don’t manage to fly, someone else will. The spirit wants only that there be flying. As for who happens to do it, in that he has only a passing interest.’ ~ Rainer Maria Rilke.
If you don’t manage to look differently…
…the past won’t change. And your future will say as dim and dismal as it looks now. You will end up getting to where you are heading.
For most people this is really bad news.
This systematic looking, looking through distinctions, looking differently, can, reliably, change the past… and with that change it changes the present moment… because it changes the future you are living into…
Who you are, your attitude, your actions depend on the future you live into. so when the future you see changes, your actions change with it.
- When you manage to change the past,
- your future changes with it.
- your present changes with it
- How you see yourself changes.
- Who lives the next moment changes.
Sounds magical. it also feels magical. but it isn’t magic.
What actually happened, reality cannot be changed… but before you jump into conclusion. the first module of the Playground is to distinguish reality from what you added. what isn’t part of reality. what never happened. all the interpretations. all the meanings. Count all the drama YOU have added…
And what happened doesn’t change. But the interpretations and meanings are not part of what happened… and yet they still carry 99% of the ‘what happened’ for you…
So the secret is distinguishing… Tell them apart… See what isn’t part… Always.
And what gives you your being, mood, attitude, your actions in the present moment is the future you are walking into. The wind of the future you are leaning into.
By changing the past, you whole life, including your future can be changed.
- One of the integral parts of the Playground program is the weekly one-on-one partner calls… Without that there would be no results.
- Add to that the 20 day learning challenge… without that you wouldn’t necessarily see how you are not even willing to learn anything to make your life work, to make your life better.
- And, of course, the feedback… after every partner call…
I listen to every partner call… and give a little or a lot of feedback, depending whether the participants asked for coaching or not.
90% of the work of the program gets done in the partner calls.
Why do I write, almost exclusively, articles that seem to be only for the participants of the Playground program?
It’s a good question… and at the same time it is a dumb question. What participants deal with can shed light to what a non-participant is dealing with, because my job is to shed light to the invisible. To name what hasn’t been named. To reveal the dynamic.
And even just knowing that there is a dynamic there can save some lives. but more importantly, it encourages curious people to opt to look deeper, and take their power back from the machine…
That is why I am writing these articles.
The Playground partner calls give away a lot of the ‘how’ in the how you do anything is how you do everything.
I just listened to a partner call, two men, two continents, two different lives, two different soul corrections, two different vibrations.
The conversation reminds me of the book ‘What do you say AFTER you say hello?‘ Transactional Analysis book.
Depending on the percentage of the ‘it is all about me’ score in your Starting Point Measurements, you likely listen to the other person’s example, the other person’s life, for the similarities or the sameness, and have no interest in their differences… you don’t even notice it.
Your vibration is a number.
It tells me, among other things, how much of reality you see. What limits your view are
- 1. The height from which you look. Seeing things from a skyscraper, for example a traffic jam, is a whole different experience, than being stuck in it on the street level… Same traffic jam, just viewed from a different vantage point.
- 2. Your astuteness: your astuteness is a function of how many distinctions you can tell apart.I measure it in your vocabulary, accurate vocabulary. But really, to be exact, what i am really measuring is how many things you can recognize accurately. How many things you tell apart from similar things. For most people this is about 1%…
- 3. Your about-me score.As I have said in another article, the size of that is like a carton cutout, that occupies the center of your field of vision, and you see, if you even look, reality only over its edges. You can only see yourself, and you project it on others.
So, every person has those three aspects that influence their ‘how’ and ‘what’
Another aspect is their soul correction.
Each soul correction has a main linchpin.
Life happens to us all. What we do with what is happening to us, on the other hand, is up to us.
Most children have early experiences where they find out that life is not fair. that not all of us get the same things. that what works for another doesn’t work for them.
What we decide from our experience, our conclusion, our ‘therefore’ will be consistent with our soul correction.
I have a minuscule size ‘about-me’. Therefore I can see fully what is going on for the participants. while when they listen to each other, depending on their vibration number, and especially their about-me score, they will see or misidentify what is going on for the other.
So I have to sit on my hands… I desperately want to ‘tell them’ what they didn’t see, what they could change, etc…
Helping people to see what they are not ready to see is like cutting the cocoon open. Cutting the cocoon to help the not-ready butterfly ‘applicant’. Helping them to save them from having to break the cocoon. Saving them from the pain it implies.
So I don’t….
Even in this article I am trying to not say anything that cuts someone’s cocoon open: what makes a butterfly fly comes from the effort they needed to break the cocoon open.
Sheer torture for the ’emperor’… or in this case, the teacher/coach.
What else can I see from the partner calls?
Life is full of rackets. Racket is one of the invisible dynamics we examine in each incident we attempt to change.
A racket is an invisible dynamic to cover up that what is on the surface is not what is going on deeper inside.
On the surface you may be a victim. But deep down you are the perpetrator… Every unpleasant feeling is a signal for the invisible parts of the racket.
Payoff is what perpetuates the racket machine. without some perceived benefit, no one would choose to be in a racket. No one would go through the pain and turmoil the racket brings.
Payoff sounds good, right? Like a salary… but in fact it is the biggest criminal in all. It is what corrupts people. What makes them sell out. It makes them do unimaginably evil things… betray their country, betray their family, betray their own best interest.
When it comes to rackets: the most frequent payoff is never having to show up in life. never having to measure up. never having to produce. never having to really know anything worth knowing.
So rackets are underneath procrastination. Underneath underachievement. Underneath never amounting to much in life. Not a lack of intelligence, a lack of talent, a lack of opportunity, not even lack of character, but the payoff from the rackets.
Not having to do what is yours to do. not having to be the one who causes. instead being the one who is an effect. No one can blame you… but…
But there is a cost!
The payoff, received under the table, undeserved and unearned will wreak havoc and mayhem… Unless you bring full consciousness to the racket, You’ll have the cost… and no benefit whatsoever.
Unless you value something more than you value something else…
In the Playground I measured what is the vibration of the ability to see value… and to my dismay it is 300 vibration. Under 300 vibration you may see individual values, but not value as a distinction. Same for any distinction, by the way. You will see examples of it, but not the distinction as a distinction.
So the goal in the Playground is to hit 300 vibration, where the distinctions, where the values can USE YOUR LIFE, instead of you having to look for them, analyze them, and try to use them.
The Cost of running a racket: the most expensive cost is affinity. more specifically self-love, self-affinity. and the ability to live from the ‘higher power’ or North Star of ‘If I am not for me, who is for me?‘
The saying that when you love yourself you love your life has been true for me. and I have seen instances where it is clearly true for you.
One student saw, that even though he does things he doesn’t like, he is not wrong. he just does things he doesn’t like.
And his enthusiasm, and joy was indescribable… he loved himself, suddenly, and thus he loved his life and the people in it.
But when you see yourself selling out. Selling out for some puny and disreputable payoff… you cannot respect yourself, you cannot love yourself… and thus you cannot love your life.
And the sadness, when people get in touch with that, is thick and heart wrenching.
Before you can choose to say no to the payoff… you have to go through that sadness, occasionally shame, or you won’t choose a racket-free life.
Arrgh, that puny payoff is the only thing most people have… Not results, not rewarding relationships, not health… no. They have the payoffs. And that is their life.
It’s a catch 22. in order to learn anything, in order to do anything useful for your life, you need to say no to the payoff… And You need to say no, or you won’t be allowed to learn anything. You won’t be allowed to do anything for yourself and your life.
Do You see the trap?
Not every soul correction, and not every person with a certain soul correction is caught, fully, in this catch 22 trap… two participants in the Playground are caught in this trap fully. and two are still stuck somewhat… My heart goes out for them. But the ball is in their court.
If you think I should do the Playground again… please email me and ask me.
I have been looking at that one and at least it seems to me it’s getting better. Still often I only notice it in hindsight, but the time frame is getting shorter and I start sometimes catching myself “in the act”. It’s very slow, but it seems to me like the predatory genes adjustment gave me a boost.
At the incident where my job application was rejected I caught myself – although I didn’t know how to respond correctly, I stopped my babbling, left the situation politely and debriefed myself right afterwards. There was a bit of an upset, but only for a few minutes. That’s nothing compared to my behavior in the past.
I applied at another equestrian center and did a lot better. I took a riding lesson, expressed sincere appreciation for the lesson and the facility and was able to find out where I can be of use. I’m now welcome to volunteer, watch lessons and pick their brain. I was able to be humble towards the instructor and really admired his expertise and the excellent lesson. He started with teaching very basic things and I didn’t even have to resist the urge of expressing that I “know that already”. I was able to listen intently and picked some new advice. Little successes, but they are really helpful.
your principal racket is probably given by your soul correction… look there… Building Bridges, if I remember accurately. It is hard to build bridges to anything or anyone if everything is always almost totally about you. From the vantage point of high about-me, everything looks like a personal attack, every incident looks like you have to prove yourself, justify yourself, defend yourself. That is always the tip of the racket iceberg.
I’m one of those fully caught in the trap. I have seen some of my rackets, but apparently not the main one. Especially the payoff is still hidden – if I could catch that, I think I’d be able to move forward. So I’ll keep looking.
But even being the “runt of the litter” I see much improvement in my life since I started the playground. There is still drama and I’m still running my rackets, but it’s a lot less! I have managed to catch myself and prevented some conflicts. I could probably say it saved my marriage! I had been making up things that my husband did that were simply not true – I was drama queen! Much more trust has been built between us now.
But there were still the occasional arguments where I ended up being defensive and angry. Not very often, but I would get caught in a “being right” racket.
I noticed a change in that since my predatory genes were adjusted. It was much more harmonious here after that, but last week we both just had a bad day and started arguing. I said something stupid that made my husband mad. I tried to apologise later, but he wouldn’t accept it. I sat with that and went through our protocol. Even before I did that I started seeing it from his point of view. I wanted to fight the sadness I felt because he was mad at me, but then decided to just give myself a few minutes to “wallow” in it – after that it went away. I was able to look at what he needed and when we talked again we solved the problem.
What would have been a days of anger, emotional turmoil and slight remarks a year ago was now just a few hours of thinking and feeling sad. I don’t feel like we compromised or just pulled ourselves together, but really found a solution (or at least agreed on a path to it).
So that’s one little success story, but I have some more. Even with the slight glimpse of the playground I’m a lot happier than I used to be. Thank you, Sophie!