The tyranny of the pursuit of happiness

More books are sold on happiness than maybe even on dieting… especially because 98% diet books’ hidden attraction is happiness.

Weird, eh?

I have read my share of the books on happiness, of all kinds of psychologies, philosophies, and just inane silliness in articles, TED talks, youtube videos…

In my humble opinion no one is willing to shout out that the emperor is naked. that our desire for happiness is what causes this sea of unhappiness we are all swimming in.

Every book silently and sinisterly assumes that this worldwide scrambling for happiness is valid, fulfillable, and comes from a healthy place… a desire that is in sync with life.

It isn’t.

Life won’t change because you want it to… and for nobody’s sake. The leopard doesn’t change its spots, the scorpion is not stinging because it wants to kill you.

Life is life, and it has its nature… and you: you are a guest in this life who isn’t given the run of this house…

Of course everyone is filling your head with garbage, with techniques that lead to more unhappiness, more dissatisfaction, and less life.

So let’s look what are the invisible rules of life that will lead or not lead to a life of contentment, joy, and a semblance of quiet joy, a life worth living.

Here is what I plan to accomplish:

  • 1. What is the basic untruth… the bottom tip of the iceberg
  • 2. the evolution of the cult of unhappiness…
  • 3. conclusion: unlearning plus learning how life works, distinguishing and learning to see

1. The basic untruth

This is the cornerstone and also the linchpin of human existence: language. It is ultimately the curse of language and how we use it that is at the root of all evil.

It is language where the moment you consider that

  • things should be different than they are, that
  • how they are is wrong, and that
  • they need fixing and
  • they are fixable.

You did that all in language.

You can see that without language the whole idea of happiness is a non-issue.

  • If things are the way they are, and
  • they are the way they should be,
  • you don’t need to wish them changed,
  • you don’t need to consider them wrong the way they are, and
  • you can simply put your attention to doing the best you can with how things are.

There are more happy people in prisons and jails (per capita) than in the general population. These are the people who make the best of what they have. They earn degrees, professions, and thinking, because they have time and energy to learn, while if they were on the outside, they would consider their environment to give them what they want, instead of them getting what they want.

I had a marked moment in my life when I first realized that no one is coming to my rescue… and everything I wanted was up to me. I started to say: if it is to be it is up to me…

And that was when actually becoming happy became a real possibility, when I stopped blaming my circumstances, when I stopped hoping for what I cannot do myself, and started to come down to Earth… and slowly but surely work for what I wanted.

So the basic untruth is that things should be different than they are… and that looked at this “wrong, must be fixed” filter, they will either change magically, or someone will come and change it for you.

Ultimately, I could finish the article right here… because this is really all that needs to be realized. That by removing the core untruth, the whole construct falls apart…

But a lot of people will not be able to see, or will not be willing to accept that ultimately they are the cause of their own misery.

That their own attitude towards reality makes them feel powerless, and renders them powerless.

So I’ll go and talk about the body of the iceberg… hoping that more people will recognize themselves.

2. The evolution of the cult of unhappiness…

Myths, just like religion… are created by words, words that create an emotional response: a marker feeling and its interpretation: an emotion.

The most important thing to understand is this: reality is reality. And words, originally, were designed, words were meant to match reality closely… to express in words what is. To give us power… but then something happened.

Someone decided that words that express a judgment are an effective way to enslave others. That words can be an effective vehicle for evil…

…and what I say evil is “desire to receive for the self alone… aka at another person’s expense. Getting what belongs to another, in effect killing, stealing, robbing other people of their self-esteem, self-regard, of their power.

This marks the birth of the Tree of Knowledge, the Tree of Good and Evil… where someone has the right to call something good or evil, or right or wrong… a personal opinion made public… and often the law.

You came to this party when it was already running, and no one has ever told you the rules. You have been asked to live life that comes without a rule-book, and you are making it up, the best you can, as you go along.

But you want rules to guide you, so you are finding them where you can… a hodge podge of rules. 97% of those rules are really rules on how to be unhappy, unsuccessful, and unhealthy… and only 3% of those rules are actually effective and helpful for life.

But you don’t know how to discern, what questions to ask to discern if what you are looking at is a good rule or a bad rule.

One good question to ask would be to ask if the rule is serving the narrow self-interest of a person or a group. And ask that about every rule you recognize as a rule.

The confusing thing about any body of authority: church, state, family, is that some of their rules are for workability, i.e. on the side of life, but yet 97% on average of all the rules serve the narrow interest of the church, the state, or the family, and therefore cannot and don’t care to serve your interest…

We are most interested in your interest to live a life it is enjoyable to live…

The United States constitution guarantees the “pursuit of happiness” to every citizen, but that expression is fully and wholly misunderstood and therefore easily violated by the powers that be… and have been before and after the birth of the United States, because no declaration will change people’s desire to receive for the self alone… the only evil there is.

Racism is desire to receive for the self alone, forcefully pushing down other people… hoping that when the other is disempowered, they can be exploited and used to increase profit to some.

It is done with words… words that create marker feelings… aka emotions, that disempower the listener.

I just hung up the phone with a brand new buyer of my products, an African American woman, whose Starting Point Measurements are the highest I have ever measured for a client.

I could sense that she stopped fully generating her life… and I was curious at what point.

She shared that when she was in graduate school for Public Administration, she was told by all the whites that as a Black person she was inferior, she was less deserving, and that she was not going to amount to anything.

And without intending, she stopped feeling intelligent, stopped managing her attention, stopped managing her time… and she slipped and with her her studies slipped as well.

This is the power of words, the words that create “marker feelings” that disempower the listener.

You could be repeating those words to yourself, by the way. Self-disempowerment…

I am finding that the little voices in my mind are shouting right now, saying “I can’t do it” or “You can’t do it” and also “Who cares what you say!” or “They are not going to get it”, or “You can’t write worth beans”

The art, the skill is to leave the voices alone and be advised by something that YOU said, not the voices.

In my case, what is guiding me is what I have set up for myself as a context for my work: Whatever I manage to discover and teach is going to become a part of All-Knowledge, and will not die with me. Whether it will be used by the current humanity, or the next, is not my concern.

Of course, my preference is that at least some people living today will pick up the “broadcast” and start living a life worth living… But preferences are not shoulds, and my happiness doesn’t depend on what you’ll do with what I distinguish: use it or chuck it.

It took me a long time to formulate my guidance in a way that I can be happy all the time. Happy with what I do. Happy with who I am. Happy and looking forward to each day.

Myth: Visualization

One of the tools of evil is visualization. There are entire courses, programs dedicated to teaching this evil unhappiness making tool.

There is visualization, of course, and there is visualization.

Nicola Tesla was a great scientist. He used his mental capacities to work out all the bugs in his machines, and take them to working. My hunch is that Grigory Grabovoy had a similar ability with airplane engines… but then he decided to use it in other areas of life, like health or wealth, where he had no knowledge, and not authority, for evil.

Which means that the use of visualization is to check reality, and not to create it, or attempt to create it.

Of course that would put thousands of Mind Power teachers out of business, so this teaching of visualization of what you want is growing, and has reached countries that used to be sane… but not any more.

In reality what you want only matters as far as what you want is on what you are willing to focus your activities to create. I call this “ambition” in my Starting Point Measurements.

Ambition is really the percentage of your activities where you gain pleasure from doing what you need to do to achieve what you would like to achieve. Not pleasurable? Dutiful? Not an ambition.

Myth: Unless… when I have X…

When you are of the persuasion that life is wrong the way it is, and for you to be happy, things have to be MORE, BETTER OR DIFFERENT, i.e. change, you set goals… And say: I cannot be happy unless I have X, or I will be happy when I have X.

And, of course you won’t be happy. Why? Because the more things change the more they remain the same.

The changed life carries over the essence of your current life… in this case your base persuasion, the “how” in how you do anything is how you do everything.

Wherever you go, whatever you do, unfortunately you take yourself with you.

My life is a perfect example for that: I moved from country to country, hoping for something better, only to find that I took myself and my misery with me.

Myth: Mind power: you can change the world

Of course, if you need reality to change for you to be happy, there are hoards of “nice” people who are willing to teach you how to change reality…

They invented Mind Power. They invented, like they invented that smoking returns women to their power in the 1920’s… Of course the real reason was to expand tobacco manufacturers’ profits… but just like with Mind Power, your desire for something you are not willing to do anything for will trap you in some scam, cult, or desire trap every time.

Mind Power is for people who are not willing to cause, work for, learn what they need to learn for what they want to get.

They will use the magical, mystical, unproven, and dangerous path of mind power, to change reality, instead of doing what works in reality: adjust their actions to reality by embracing reality.

Here is a little tidbit from my history: I always felt that I wasn’t smart enough for what I wanted to achieve in life. Oftentimes not even smart enough to not do stupid things, or to understand a course, a book, or even a joke.

I remember the first mind-power invention I had: “I am brilliant and I am a contribution.”

And with that I went and interviewed for jobs I didn’t really want. Jobs I really wasn’t suited for, by temperament and by knowledge base.

That “I am brilliant” declaration bought me more unhappiness and misery than embracing that I wasn’t the sharpest tool in the tool box.

Years later I stumbled upon the idea that if I embraced how I was, if I embraced that I wasn’t very smart, I could go wherever I wanted to go, and take it with me, just like I could carry my fear like an infant, and be able to do anything.

It worked like gangbusters: I started to produce real results in life… Since I have found out that you don’t need to be smarter than you are, to succeed.

Myth: Looking outside vs. looking inside

The last and maybe most important manifestation of the wrong teachings is when you look for guidance, when you look for making decisions.

All the mind-power, Tree of Knowledge, rules, and perception that reality is wrong the way it is, suggest that the truth is out there and it needs to be fixed there.

Mind is outside, by the way. The voices in your head are outside.

Outside of what? Outside of Self, outside of the natural you.

Even outside of you Self-interest.

Here is another astuteness issue, or lack of discernment, that is, by the way, handled quite brilliantly by the Avatar State Activator, Discern, distinguish, be astute: From misery to reality. 1

I mentioned a good question about other people’s speaking… here is an astute way to tell if your own good ideas are good for you or not.

Let’s say you come home from work or school, and you feel tired. You have previously scheduled commitments, let’s say, to practice your guitar.

The tiredness, the voices, say: you are tired, lie down, watch TV, watch youtube…

What question could you ask to ferret out if it is in your best interest, or you are being jerked around by the desire to receive for the self alone?

Ask the question: Will resting, watching youtube, TV, etc. leave my world a better place? Or will practicing my guitar?

Obviously, watching the passive entertainment devices will not change your world, whereas practicing your guitar, getting your fingers do what you want them to do, catching yourself getting better at it will make YOUR world a better place.

And that is what astute questions can do for you.

Astuteness, discerning is missing largely because you are hoping that the answers will come to you, without you having to work for them. They don’t, and they won’t.

Your astuteness and your ambition number are highly correlated… and with them moves the quality of your life experience.

Obviously I have been studying and teaching the distinctions of the human condition for decades.

I have 200 plus products that are designed to alter your relationship to reality, and with that, alter who you are, and your results in reality.

The best course I have is, of course, the Playground. But it is a long course, and not many people are willing to interact with me live… because I don’t mince my words when I give you feedback.

So it is not for everyone.

If it is not for you, I teach those distinctions I teach in the Playground, and more, in my 53 Invisibles Course.


no matter your age, no matter of your current vibration, education, or knowledge level, you can learn to accept reality and adjust your steps to what it is… instead of what unhappy, miserable people do, try to adjust reality to their desires.

It takes work: no magic wand can do it for you, but it is worth it, no matter what is your age.

I am 71 years old, and I don’t know what is my life expectancy. But even if i thought I have only another year to live, i would want that last year of my life spent with being in sync with Life, instead of fighting life. So I would start to learn what I need to learn.

PS: I have been reading Charles Chu on Medium, whose writing has an unusually high truth value, 30%… in a world where books by experts have a measly 7% truth value.

And in spite of our age difference, our topic largely overlaps…

Here is a link to a recent article of his: The Tyranny of the Perfect Life, worth reading.


  1. Discern, distinguish, be astute: From misery to reality

    This activator is to ferret out your blind-spots. You don’t know you have blind spots, that is why they are “blind.” But if life isn’t working out the way you want it, if you feel powerless and ineffective, if your actions produce no or minimal results, if your relationships are not as satisfying and nurturing as you wish, then I promise you have an abundance of blind spots, many in fact. Some soul-corrections have more than others. It is tough, and it will require your active participation. Much like learning to see… Frustrating, to say to least. You want to trust me, but your perception will prove me wrong… and yet. The results in your life are not forthcoming, so you want to hang in there… Maybe. And if I am right, then happiness, success, is just around the corner…

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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