The first step of transformation, and awakening a missing capacity is transformation!, is to tell the truth about how it is now.
Transformation is so rare, because people are unwilling to tell the truth. Why? Because truth, any truth about you, will first be painful, and it will piss you off.
The truth about you is that you, the way you are, are unable to feel for another person. You mistake your loin's yearning, your heart's yearning for connection to a feeling for the other, but they are not the same.
At this point only a handful of people are able to feel, feel deeply for another person.
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Even mother's "love" is programmed by nature, it is a prerogative for the survival of the species, and not real love. Why? Because until September 4 of this year the gene for caring was non-existent, meaning: humans didn't have a gene for caring, compassion, or empathy.
Let's first look at empathy: I am an empath, and I should be an "authority" of how empathy was until a few weeks ago: it was a real pain in the behind.
And empathic person could identify the feeling of another, feel the feeling, like sadness, grief, etc. and then weep, or cry, not because of caring what the other person feels, but because the feeling that now they feel themselves, makes them react with crying or weeping.
The other person's feeling remains theirs, and there is no connection. Your behavior won't change, unless you make the mental leap of "if it feels this way to me, then this is what it must be like for the other..." so let us help, console, comfort, etc.
The actions came from the mind, not from the Self of the person: the mental leap was necessary.
Ask any mother if they can imagine what it must be like for their baby... they will look at you with blank eyes, or they will make the "pretense" leap and say "wonderful..." or some other lie like that.
If you really knew what it's like for people to be around you, if you really felt it, you would not walk about judging people, withholding your love, walking by when someone needs your help.
I know, I know. You have been emulating the "best", like Mother Teresa, who was an excellent politician (psychopath alert) and taught the whole planet how to pretend to care and show compassion. 1
But in fact what she was doing is growing the reach and power of the Catholic Church by converting people who were helped, gaining thousands and millions of babies to grow the flock of the Church.
She consorted with politicians, and duped you... like only a good old psychopath can: totally.
Please accept and make peace with the fact that you probably haven't seen anyone care or show compassion in your life... not really.
Now, you have the gene. It was the next evolutionary step, and LIFE decided to do an evolutionary jump to save the Planet.
Now that you have the capacity to care, to love, to have compassion, you need to activate it.
Why? You can't get access to love, only through caring and compassion. And you have been pretending that you want to love: was it all pretense, or was there a grain of truth in it? Maybe you accidentally connected with your Soul, and got "infected" by Higher Self?
Whatever your reason to want to be able to love, you need to go through caring and compassion. Bummer? Yeah.
Why am I saying it's a bummer?
This is what happened this morning: I was so busy with something for the past few weeks, that I ignored the signs of the fact that some mice moved into my apartment, and they were very comfortable.
Then I started to use my usual mouse-eliminating tools, no success, So I ordered some glue-pads: they always did the trick for me. And they did it this time, but by the time the glue-pads arrived, my resident mouse mother has given birth to a seemingly large litter of mice.
So far the glue-pads caught eight little mice. No success with the parents yet. Eight days, eight little mice, and a great education for me: I now can distinguish the SOS signals of mice, and the feelings of being trapped, wanting help. Don't worry, you probably won't have to go that deep into caring and empathy... I did.
When you feel a pest suffer from you wanting your apartment back, you have a conflict that you need to consider in earnest:
Are you willing to choose them, their happiness, their right to feed, live, multiply, or yours? This is one of the areas of life where it is a true "either them or you."
So I have been taking outside the glue-trap with the mouse on it, knowing that eventually they will get help and get on with their lives. Outside.
If they violate my space again, I'll catch them again. With compassion and a healthy dose of caring for myself.
Now, back to how to learn to care:
I am a movie buff, and I have watched, mindfully, probably a thousand movies, maybe more.
In all those movies I found only one instance of real caring. No surprises there, even pretending to care is not so easy, and you can't pretend to an empath.
But this one movie is no pretense, so I have watched it again and again, until it trained my innards, trained my psyche, trained my nervous system to go into that deep place where caring is.
You see, each individual has two layers of being, the periphery, and the deep unknown inside.
The parts of you that live on the inside are the parts of you that you call you. Your personality, your body, your mind, your ego, your subconscious even, are on the periphery.
On the inside is the Soul and your consciousness, your awareness, your observer, your attention. These are your divine parts, the parts that are a new addition to living beings, and can't be found in animals. Though I have some doubts about dolphins... hm.
Watch the movie over and over, and allow the deep parts of you to resonate. Leave your mind at the door, understanding will prevent you from going deep. Allow the sounds and the sights to stir you up.
It will be an effective tool to awaken caring and compassion.
And what is this movie? It is a Chinese movie, called The King of Masks. You can search for it online, or you can become a coaching student of mine and watch it on my site. You'll be able to get coaching: it is not easy to activate a capacity so against your grain as caring.
If you are a current all access subscriber, just log into the subscribers' area, https://www.yourvibration.com/subscribers. I made the movie downloadable so your internet connection doesn't trip you up.