I want to share a phenomenon, that, hopefully, will get clearer as I am sharing it... At the moment I can only see its visible aspect... I am almost certain it has an invisible aspect as well.
I read about three hours a day. Something that isn't connected to my work: fiction.
But recently I have taken on a 20-day challenge: listen to 20 episodes of a Hungarian psychologist, Dr. Peter Popper, in his Mesterkurzus (master course) series, an hour long each.
Excellent, fascinating, the dude is both a psychologist, an university professor, a clinician, AND a religion expert... whatever that means.
The truth value of the episodes varies between 10% and 50%. I listen to the episodes at 1.5x speed: he talks slowly. He is old... he died soon after the episodes I have watched at age 77.
OK, so far the background. Now the issue: He brings up things I'd like to incorporate in my teaching, and instead: I can't write... I cannot make myself repeat what he said... so for the first time, for example, yesterday I didn't write an article.
I am starting to see that I have NEVER been able to just repeat what a book or a person said: I always had to digest it, I had to connect it to what I already had in long term storage: stuff that, in the limited perspective of the human mind, was reality, true, and useful.
OK, this is working... I am starting to see something, that connects here: when I look at a person when they hear something new, they can look up, or they can continue looking forward.
When they keep on looking forward: (very rare, that is what I do) they are looking inward, to where the long term memory storage AND the "equipment" to evaluate the new for inclusion resides.
Because I don't use the mind (I do use it about 7% of the day) I don't look up... I pretty much have nothing in the mind... whatever I find is in people's minds is anyways crap... connecting to nothing.
One other thing about that: the two hemispheres of the brain. Muscle test says that the theory of left brain and right brain are half-truths: the functions are not hemisphere located, it is a how thing, not a where or what thing...
My mode of hearing and digesting is right hemisphere way to hear and digest.
The mind is a linear slow step by step machine, like an adding machine: all left brain. Memorizing is left brain. Adding, multiplying, etc. are left brain.
Narrow cone of vision, inflexible, containing myriads of incongruencies: the mind cannot check for consistency and congruency.
Music creation, poetry, higher mathematics, truth, beauty and goodness are right brain... all come from and is processed in the so-called right brain.
Anything that you can repeat is coming from the mind, the left brain. No creativity there... no coherence... nothing beautiful or even wholesome.
99% of what you hear or what you read came from someone's left brain... And you are trying to hear it with the mind as well.
The entire humanity is trapped in the left brain, where none of what is worth living for, none of what makes life beautiful comes from.
But humans, genetically, crave to experience their godlike aspect, crave to experience the sublime, the non-linear, the inspiring, the wordless.
But because all of life, or 99% of life is pedestrian, non-magical, non-inspiring for them, because from the left brain you cannot access the vertical aspects of existence, they will use their minds to manufacture stuff, that isn't real, by using the mind to visualize, imagine, and believe it to be true.
Or alternatively use chemical stuff to experience something of the beyond. It is an authentic need, by the way.
Everyone craves it.
But in a society where you cannot even taste your food, cannot feel love or warmth, cannot get inspired, because the whole society is hellbent on keeping you using only the left brain: having access to the right brain only happens as a happy accident.
I am looking at the famous book I first read in 1977, Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, what isn't clear, hasn't been clear is suddenly very clear: the children reared in vitro, in tubes, only use their left brain. Their hunger for transcendental is denied, so they are fed "soma", a drug.
John who was born naturally, is right brain centered... and there cannot be anything for him in a left brain world, where people cannot hear him, and he cannot hear them either.
So what happens in my courses?
Very interesting to look at.
I thought of asking this question of Source... does my teaching effect the brain-dominance, if people use their left brain less, and their right brain more... a tad vague... So let me rephrase that so the answer I get will be useful.
How many percentage of their brain does a person use in the right brain way? Why is this important? I want to know if my teaching, if the partner calls, if the workshops make a difference in connecting people to the transcendental, to their godlike self...
And also if the people who have a real difficulty, emotionally and intellectually, to follow me to the rabbit hole: if their issue is that they cannot do with purely left brain methods... with the mind.
I found that the left-brain-activity score and the about-me score is the same. I am yet to be able to see why. I can see that the more you see the world from and through your self, the less inspiration, creativity, access to the transcendental, the less connection to the divine is available to you.
I can also see that the students who take their courses seriously, have been able to change their about-me score by a lot, and have gained access to joy, self-expression, a sense of well-being as a person, even if their health is not quite there.
I can see it, I can feel it, and it is not a coherent whole yet.
But I am starting to see that the question people ultimately ask me: how do I reduce the "about-me" score comes from a fixit mentality, as if having a high about-me score were wrong.
Having a high about-me score is not wrong... it is only a way to approach life that won't allow you to see reality, and the beauty in life.
How do you change it?
My hunch says that you cannot directly influence that number. You can do the work of distinguishing reality through the methodology I teach in the Playground. And there will be a moment, when you'll be able to see that there is no suffering, there is nothing wrong, that there is nothing lacking in reality.
In that moment you involuntarily chuckle. It will tickle your funny-bone.
But pretending that it's funny won't do it...
If it takes you longer than for others... so be it... the longer you can hang in there the more likely you'll get there.
I have had students who moved sideways, or quit, often hurling curses at me. They could not see that hanging in there, doing the work will get them there.
I have asked Source (muscle tested) if there are any of my people who cannot change... I didn't get any straight "no" people, although many tested halfway.
Which means: these are the people who, when the going gets tough, when what they need to see is not pretty, who will not want to own who they have been, will want to quit... one way or another.
Each person has a dark side, and some dark side stuff is easier to accept and embrace than others.
Surprisingly the hardest are, at least this is how at this point seems to be, the "I am not special, I am like other people". But insisting on being special robs you of living life fully and honestly... so the other side is joy...
The second hardest is accepting that you go to hatred at the drop of a hat... Hatred doesn't feel good, neither hating yourself nor hating another. So admitting to it is hard, but actually easier than admitting that you are not special.
On this side of this breakthrough, on this side of this transformation, your life is invested in looking and being considered special... no joy.
On the other side of this transformation: the world is your oyster. You have nothing to hide, nothing to pretend. You have access to the divine dimensions of life, beauty, truth, goodness. And get your energy from there.
You may even, gasp, have the experience of being at home... really at home. In your body, in your life.
I remember when that happened for me. It happened right after i was able to see that I wasn't a kind person, that I was treating people unkindly... This is my soul correction, the visible part.
Once I could see it, own it, grieve it, I could connect to Source... whatever that is, and life hasn't been the same.
I stopped being a seeker, and became a "finder"... I found home.