Hopelessness is a wind… a real nasty wind to walk into. And “Why bother… it’ll never change” is the real enemy to personal growth.
I have made a deal with Source about a decade ago, to do Source’s work. Source doesn’t have a thumb… I do..
I had been courting Source, for decades, but I was rejected.
I am a nudnik. Persistent, annoying, a gadfly… I rarely give up. The only thing I have EVER given up on was becoming a Landmark Education Forum Leader. It still hurts. I am the person who you kick out but he comes back through the window. You fire her and she says: you can’t fire me from MY job.
You have to kill me to stop me…
OK, disgusted yet?
The other side of disgusted is being thoroughly impressed…
You can’t be, can’t bother to be disgusted… got you! You cannot be impressed either.
Language is very funny, and our grasp on it is minimal…
When I measure people’s accurate vocabulary, their grasp is at best tenuous: unless you know all the synonyms and all the antonyms (opposite) of a word, what it does to the listener, you don’t really know the word.
But to know all that you need to go deep… and be persistent. And look beyond the obvious…
What prevents people from doing that?
Hopelessness. The “why bother, nothing is going to change…”
I am like a gadfly…
“A gadfly is a person who interferes with the status quo of a society or community by posing novel, potentially upsetting questions, usually directed at authorities. The term is originally associated with the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates, in his defense when on trial for his life.”
“He (Socrates) is also like a gadfly because he is likely to get swatted away because of his “bite” or words of wisdom. His job was to sting the “sleeping horse” of the Athenian conscious into wakefulness. … When Socrates refers to himself as a gadfly during his trial, he means that he is like an examiner of things.”
I have never read much about Socrates. He never wrote anything.
“Socrates never wrote anything. All of what we know about Socrates is from what other people wrote about him. Our main source of what we know about Socrates is from the writings of his student, Plato. Some of Plato’s dialogues, such as the Crito and the Phaedo, are loosely based on fact.”
The main difference between Socrates and myself is that I write. That is my main medium for learning. I am selfish. I teach so I can go deeper and learn… go wider and learn.
I teach to learn.
Hopelessness is the wind I walk into.
Your TLB shows most clearly in your reaction to the dominant wind you walk into…
- Keep walking, if the TLB is higher,
- be swept away by the wind, if the TLB is low, especially if it is a 1.
Giving up. Giving in to hopelessness…
Hopelessness is a state of mind. The kind of mind that looks at the shadows and considers it reality.
The shadow of flames dancing on the wall of your cave is not fire, not flames, only the shadows.
Hopelessness as much as hopefulness are states of mind that don’t look at reality, only at the shadows.
Unreality. It’s like reading tea leaves… fortune telling.
Neither the hopeful nor the hopeless is willing to take actions in the face of the illusion.
- The hopeless says: why bother?
- The hopeful says: I don’t need to bother… it is going to happen.
And then there is the gadfly and different versions of it: “The whatever it takes” attitude.
What else does the gadfly say? It says: “if it is to be, it is up to me”
Last night was hard for me.
I am not sure what Source really is… But ever since I was accepted to do the work I am doing FOR Source, Source is there to guide me.
Being guided by Source is not an uplifting experience. You would expect that it is, but you would be a starry eyed moron if you did. I wasn’t, I am not, and yet, last night’s guidance was beyond cruel.
I was in bed, reading, with the headphones on my ear playing the Big Bundle, my secret weapon to cleanse every organ in my body so I can give another decades to this work I have been doing.
I turned off the light at some point, even though I wasn’t tired. I wanted to spend some time looking over the past month… and do a “powerful debriefing” with myself: what did I do? what did I intend to get? what did I actually get?
And that is when the surprise happened. For the past month, every time I night when I did this powerful debriefing, I saw improvement in my health, in my brain function, in my heart function.
NOT last night.
The numbers spoke, and they told a tale of imminent death. WTF?
I went through hopelessness… Not pretty. Not pleasant. Not anything I would like to revisit again.
But there you have it: death sentence. Imminent.
The muscletests of when and why I would die were evasive… another WTF?
It took some effort to fall asleep…
I woke up this morning, rested, and with a choice. Am I going to be hopeless or hopeful?
I have shared before the invisible dynamic of the pendulum.
It also has another name: the frame through which you look at life, yourself, everything.
Mine used to be, exclusively: am I smart or am I stupid?
You always have a frame… the only thing you can do is expand it, widen it, so more of life can be seen through it.
It is worth it/it is not worth it is another example for a frame. It is probably the frame a stingy person looks through to decide to do something or not.
So after I woke up, I sat down to write. And a comment came in… a stingy person recognized herself in the article I wrote yesterday.
It made me look at what happened last night, and allowed me to think that Source does its work through putting me in the position where I have to look at certain things I haven’t looked at before. Or haven’t taught before. Or need to look at and teach it…
My numbers are back to where they were during the day yesterday. big big WTF? 1
This was a lesson. A teaching situation.
Hell, that is also a frame: but a lot more useful than hopeful and hopeless. Or smart/stupid… or worth it/not worth it.
Or stingy/generous.
You cannot teach what you don’t know. I had to go through this to teach it.
So what am I teaching in this article?
You have a fixed frame given by your soul correction. The work of the soul correction is to first recognize the frame… for being a frame. Not the truth. Not divinely ordained.
To recognized that all the obstacles are placed in front of you to go through them.
The easy to conquer a frame is to widen it… and widen the wider one… endless. Jacob’s ladder… Every new level you reach will have a newer level above it.
It is up to you what you do with what is given to you.
If and when you get stuck in a frame, accept it. You cannot destroy a frame. You cannot eliminate a frame. You can only enlarge a frame. And that is your job.
Looking at soul correction and the frame is probably the next level of learning for me… at the moment I have no clue…
So this Saturday, at our monthly hub meeting of the advanced Playground group, we’ll add to our script, the questions we need to ask to eliminate unreality from our lives, the unreality that keeps us stuck in seeking and not finding, in unhappiness, unfulfillment, and misery.
Next week is the monthly meeting of the beginners’ Playground… I expect Source to take me through the wringer… ugh… to tell me what is next for that group.
Your frame is obvious to others… but takes time and self-observation, especially when you give up, or when the going gets tough.
What do you think your stuck overall frame for life and for yourself is? The frame you need to widen…
- As I was looking to show “frame” I found this picture on a photography site.
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It has two frames. The front frame is delapidated, a room in ruins, shabby, “hopeless”. Inside the window frame the view of a beautiful, bucolic view of a bay with sailing boats and a beautiful village.
.
It is possible that we ALWAYS see two frames… how it really is, and how we hope it could be.
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This idea needs more work… but worth exploring.
I am not sure, Trish, that this is so… please look more.
Yes, Kawa. It is a process I invented… and have been using for some 30 years. We’ll do that in the next Playground session this Saturday.
Aha ok. So that is how you widen the ditch.. So you picked generosity as the second concern you saw you had outside of the ditch element.
Thank you Sophie.
What do you think your stuck overall frame for life and for yourself is? The frame you need to widen……
“I am not enough, what I give is not enough” as though there is always something missing – exhausting and energy depleting.
I have another sexual energy student, have had one more, and my younger brother is also this soul correction.
There is a remarkable similarity.
Good work, Kawa. What is next is widen that ditch… by picking another concern, and take everything through both concerns.
The current concern is being a winner… Mine was smart/stupid. I added generosity to it as the first outside of the ditch element to widen the ditch… Over the years I have created a big dance floor…
As I see from the point of my soul correction. I haven’t been looking at the front frame, the reality. That’s not in the view at all. What is there have been ONLY the beautiful view. The image I’ve created. So i don’t see the reality.
And the difference I can see between sexual energy and “the imagine AND you will have it people” is that I’ve BEEN pushing towards that image/frame.
I push hard, I do things, I take action but the actions are half-assed.
If you don’t have the tools/capacities your actions becomes half-ass. You don’t SEE that your actions are half-assed. You think you can get the results even without tools/capacities. You keep pushing and pushing until you see that you are a failure, a victim and you vanish. Disappear.
The frame as I see life through is “am I failure or am I a succes/winner?”.
I don’t know if this is for all sexual energy people but when I look at all my stories and life, I can see this…