I know the above sentence doesn’t make real sense to you, but trust me, I’ll explain, and I’ll use examples, after all that’s how I have come to that conclusion: through my own experience.
It’s Tuesday, my errand day.
My driver came a 8:30 as usual, and on the way to the chiropractor I was talking and talking and talking. I like talking… lol.
She interrupted me a few times to admire me for the skillful and colorful use of the English language, and I enjoyed being appreciated for something I worked real hard to achieve. I have put real effort in developing my ability to use visual, kinesthetic and auditory pictures in my speaking.
The chiropractor shared how fortunate he is to have a lot of really interesting and spiritual patients: he was in seventh heaven. I wasn’t one of his interesting and spiritual patients, not for him. Then he said: “I really don’t know what I am doing…” referring to his chiropractic moves.
Pay attention: I am using incidents that illustrate my point of ownership from both sides of the coin. It will get clear in a minute… and you may want to come back to these incidents and read them again, after you finish the article.
Then, I expressed that in a world where I am on my own, I appreciate my relationship with people that I see every week in the grocery store, on Tuesdays. That having a bank that takes care of me would be like living in heaven, or as if I had a mother (mine never behaved towards me like one). I started to see that feeling and expressing gratitude filled me with warmth, while my driver was deflecting it. Hm.
OK: these were (some of) the incidents today… there were more but I think a laundry list would be boring.
Ownership, for most of us, is a piece of paper. If the paper says that you are the owner, then you hopefully start behaving like you are.
Some 26 years ago I learned this distinction. I took a course that taught: “life is a conversation” meaning that life only exist in the speaking of it, when you live it is not life, it is now and now and now. There is no life for the dog… because the dog can’t talk, and doesn’t think in concepts. Life is a concept we put to express that moment to moment to moment experience we have.
Now, I thought to myself, if life is a conversation, then maybe ownership is a conversation as well.
At the time I worked as an architect for hire through a temporary agency in New York City. I worked in the office owned by two young women.
I put my new idea to the test: I was testing if it is possible to be owner without the paper. Because if it is, then ownership is a conversation, and then I can own anything. I was a recent immigrant at the time, with the mindset that comes with it.
Suddenly, as owner, I started to notice everything: from people having personal calls, to people hanging out in the kitchen too much, to the litter on the carpet. I started to behave as an owner. I was scared, but it felt good.
At the end of the second day of my ownership experiment, I was called to the owners’ office. I knew I was going to get fired, after all I overstepped my boundaries. But instead they acknowledged me. Wow.
Later on when the stock market crash of 1987 hit, and this office lost most of their contracts, I was still the one who was called in when there was any work, and that is what saved me from certain homelessness in that coming year of no work anywhere for an architect.
A little more about ownership: the kind of ownership I am talking about is owning the conversation. Relating to what is being said (and thought, and acted upon) as fully and totally yours, fully and totally up to you.
Don’t be mistaken: you can’t own anything physical ever. Holding something is not real ownership: most things that you know you own actually own you. You are the dog that is being wagged by the tail. Your spouse is not yours, your children are not yours, you can’t own people. Even your pet isn’t yours… you just have a temporary guardianship over them. But your marriage is yours! Because marriage is a conversation: it wholly lives in the language ONLY! 1
The real ownership is in the dominion of the spoken, of the language, of the stuff you say. If you don’t own up to it, it wags you around by the tail. If you own up to it, you own it, and you have control over it, just like the monkey mother and its baby.
So what are the things that you can own?
You can own your successes. You can own your brilliant solutions, if you have any. You can own a job well done, an effort, your generosity, your gratitude, your behavior.
Don’t be mistaken: most people don’t own their successes… it is not hip to toot your own horn in our pretentious society.
You can also own what you lack, your mistakes, your dark side, your hate, anger, envy, jealousy, possessiveness, whatever.
You can own your body, your time, your business, your finances, your job, your goals, your aspirations, your dreams… have you noticed that you don’t really behave as if you owned them?
Unless you own them, you are the dog… remember? And what has the power is not the dog… it is the wagger… lol.
There is also an interesting thing that I saw, suddenly (all insights are sudden!): if you fail to own the gift you give, (or service, or good work, or brilliance) you will also fail to feel gratitude and appreciation.
They, generosity and gratitude are one capacity with two sides, like a coin. You can’t have one side and not the other.
You can start ownership at any point, and with any one thing. I recommend gratitude/appreciation or generosity. They make you vibrate at 299: if you “do” it a lot, it will raise your vibration. Validation of another is a particular expression of this capacity that you now got in your DNA… so get to it.
And just that you know: the difference between staying where you are vibrationally, and going up in vibration is this, innocent sounding distinction. The more you own, the higher your vibration goes.
Warning: don’t attempt to use these activators unless your vibration has been consistently at or above 200. They need the capacities that are not active under 200, like integrity. Check with me, please.
- The precise way to divide the world is this: there are things that are physical, and even a Martian with no concept of the human culture would see them. And then there are things that are cultural, and interpretations. They, those thing, are not independent of how you call them, in fact their whole content is a language phenomenon. Yelling, angry, cheating, mean, ugly, etc. are all interpretations of stuff that is real in language. Yelling is someone talking loud with heated emotion, cheating is someone doing something that wasn’t agreed on before, or breaks an agreement. Ugly is what doesn’t fit today’s concept of beautiful or nice. I hope you can get this distinctions, most people don’t… :-( It’s a pity, because it is the key to the kingdom.