Overwhelm, survival mode, resignation, what is the connection? And un-managed, how they lead to becoming dead man walking?

dead man walkingI had an important and eye-opening insight today. A looking back…

Let me tell you the story so you get the fact that the likelihood of me ever discovering this was between none and zero.

It began some 30 years ago when I was a magazine publisher. Every time a magazine was already in the street, I went to my computer and cleaned up the space, I archived everything that was said and done, made room for the new issue. I did the same thing in the office.

I called this time and energy consuming step “cleaning from the root”, or alternatively “preparing for a new harvest”…

My life was organized, orderly, I was thin, vibrant, beautiful, and OK.

Then something happened. There is always something that happens before this process begins to really ramp up… but truth be told, it really begins around age 3… hidden for quite a while.

funny valley of the shadow of deathWhat happened is what has been happening periodically forever, and it always puts me on death row… It was a desire to expand… and I wasn’t ready for it, and yet I rented an office space, hired people, etc.

This was in 1991. At the same time, I didn’t only continue my participation in Landmark Education, I doubled up. My health rapidly declined, and the rest is history.

28 years.

Most people don’t ever have the opportunity to be able to see this decline…

The only reason I’ve had this opportunity, instead of slowly dying, is because of “my secret weapon”… the Big Bundle.

This is what I am noticing:

For the past 28 years I lived day to day. I had a real difficulty to plan, to build a future. To have real foresight, to visualize a future and then build the steps towards it.

Why? Because I was already on death row… dead before my time. Inside… I was in survival mode… after all I had to eat, I needed roof over my head, but all only on the short term.

I didn’t even know… as in knowing it, really. Why? Why would I want to know something I have nothing I can do about?

28 years.

valley of the shadow of deathI think this is more frequent than I would ever have guessed.

Maybe this is what is underneath the unwillingness, the inability of people to commit to anything beyond the immediate.

My base emotion is devastated. The Bach Flower Energy that talks to that is Gentian.

I am alone, in an environment that doesn’t support life. So I am just going to trudge along, and I will live as long as I live… no two ways about it.

And given that is the base emotion, everything that happens proves it… It is a version of the “no matter what I do… it will never make a difference.” No one will ever love me, nothing will ever happen to change that… blah blah blah…

So the fact that I didn’t clean my house, that I didn’t even throw away mail that I didn’t want, boxes I didn’t want, bottles I didn’t want, that instead of doing laundry I just bought more underwear or upperwear, or whatever…

It is already hopeless.

Now, enter the Big Bundle…

Back in August, towards the end of August. I am trying to call my brother to say good bye… I don’t expect to live long.

He answers, and I set up a call with him a week later… bummer, I have to live till then to keep my word.

But it is not easy, so I have a heart-to-heart to Source… and I ask if there is anything I can do to live longer.

Source says “yes” so I muscle test what it was going to be.

I ask a bunch of questions that are yes/no questions, and finally I settle an the energy audio: Big Bundle. I don’t know why it would work, but a promise is a promise, especially one you made to someone you love, and I LOVE my brother. We were kids together, and for some reason I love him. Whether he deserves it or not, whether he loves back or not. I just love him.

So I set myself up to listen to the Big Bundle day and night.

I did not create the energy, I “get” the energy, so I still have no idea what it does. I feel where it goes, but I don’t understand the mechanism.

By the time the appointment with my brother rolls around, I am off death row… at least health wise…

Two weeks ago, for the first time in 15 years, I started to look what it would take to unclutter my apartment. I started to do laundry, I am coming alive.

I am not yet at a stage where I can see and plan for a future… but I can feel it in my bones.

On my brother’s birthday, August 24, my biological age was 90. My biological age is 40 now… it’s been at 40 for about a week now.

I have more and more energy, about four times more than it’s been for the past 15-20 years.

Now, why am I sharing this?

You may or may not know, but I listen to about 12 hours of Partner call recordings a week, and give my students feedback.

And given what I have gone through… and the hindsights I have gotten, I am now clearer why most if not all my students are in the same boat, at different stages, as I have been. Hopeless. Futureless. It’s not worth the effort… place.

In the “no matter what I do, it is never going to change” place.

What is it that is never going to change? The fundamental hurt and the decision you made from it.

  • That you are never going to be loved, appreciated, paid attention to,
  • that you’ll never matter,
  • that you’ll always be a failure,
  • that you’ll never learn anything, never know anything,
  • that you’ll always be second fiddle,
  • that what is important to you is impossible for you,
  • that you are a f*ckup…

That you’ll never fit in… that you’ll always be alone… etc. etc. etc.

Email me if I didn’t mention your “sentence”… as in what you have sentenced yourself for…

What should you do with this information?

Here is what I think: you have, probably, neglected your health, even if you pretend that you didn’t… so first and foremost, get your health in a place where you have too much energy for the life you are living.

This is how I noticed that I was at that point: I went to bed one night, because it was my bedtime. But I wasn’t tired yet. That is where you want to be.

How will you do that? I recommend generous usage of the Big Bundle.

In the past month or so I figured out what the energy does.

It wakes up consciousness, and alerts it that it needs to pay attention. And in turn consciousness tells the brain to do repairs… repairs where there is need for repairs.

Even some chronic issues can be repaired, maybe even early stage cancer, and other non-advanced conditions. Anything the body can repair, can be repaired. Anything the body cannot repair, won’t be helped by the Big Bundle.

The more you use the energy, the bigger headphones you use, the louder you play it, the more it works.

The energy needs to overpower the mind, the circumstances, the resignation, the arrogance, the desire trap, the resistance… a whole lot of stuff…

I have it play on my computer through Windows Media Player. And on top of that, I can play other audios or videos in a browser… and they get layered. I haven’t figured out how to hear it while I am on the phone, but I will.

Yesterday I got myself a single ear ear bud… so I can even hear the Big Bundle when I am on the phone… like when I am leading a webinar.

  1. So that is the first step, the Big Bundle.
  2. The second step is to start repairing your inner being… so you can learn to react to what comes your way, differently than you have always reacted… so you can have a future different from your past.If you have bought any of my activator courses… then do the course again with the Big Bundle playing at the same time in your ear. You’ll notice that suddenly Consciousness is working with you and with the activator, and your chances of being able to integrate the new capacity double, triple, quadruple.
  3. If you are so inclined, and want to have a whole new life with a course that can almost guarantee it, then request to be accepted into the Playground… it is not for everyone.

I recommend that you get the Second Phase or the Third Phase Activators first, if you already have the Big Bundle.

  • The Third Phase has 11 activators, love, humility, kindness… the basics.
  • The Second Phase has 100 activators… and they are more sophisticated…

I am offering a coupon that expires on Sunday. The coupon code is COMPACT, and you can use it on either or both programs…

Don’t get either, unless you are already using the Big Bundle.

Why? Without the Big Bundle your consciousness is asleep… and can’t activate the behavior and the DNA capacity… Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Get your Third Phase Activators now

Get your Second Phase Activators now

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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