Inventing a new you, a YOU you can become, A paradigm shift…

new you collageThis article has turned out to be quite a novella… Read it when you have time… probably not now. Or listen to it

Of all the things that are different between homo sapiens and human being, the hardest thing, the highest and most treacherous mountain to scale and stay on the top of, is the idea of a being that is missing… i.e. a context.

You may be familiar, even conversant about beings that are there… I am happy, I am sad, I am stupid… but a being that isn’t… is entirely outside of your ability to see.

See, as in seeing it as possible. Seeing it as something you can discover, invent for yourself. Create.

I have known people who did art in my life. A lot. But I have known only a handful who treaded into the unknown.

I don’t mean unknowable… I mean unknown.

If the pie chart of all-knowledge is an accurate evaluation of all knowledge, there is a tiny slice of that pie that you know, or think you know. Another equally tiny slice is the stuff you know that you don’t know. Maybe there is a slice, even smaller, that you intuit… another slice, that you fear that is real… but the remaining 99% of the pie is the uncharted, undiscovered territory of the Wild West…

Each person’s slices, the content, are different, but the proportions stay the same.

We can elaborate how true what you know is… aka truth value. If we look at articles, including scientific articles, historical articles, non-fiction books, the average overall truth value is 10%… What you think you know, what you think is true isn’t.

So given the vast widely spread untruth, blindness, fogginess, calling a hypothesis the truth, it is not a surprise that a garden variety person… my student, neither a scientist, nor a doctor, have a difficulty inventing something for themselves that isn’t… yet. Not truly creating… because everything that is possible is inside the 99%, but it’s invisible. It is more a discovery than an invention.

But because trust is so missing… it is so missing that it isn’t even missing. People can’t imagine it could be there!

how you get dullerLandmark used to say: It is missing that it is missing.

Landmark’s trademark is talking funny… lol.

So inventing a future that isn’t put together with and from bricks from what you think you know is hard and almost impossible for homo sapiens…

Inventing a future that isn’t fixing the present… ditto.

Inventing a future that isn’t trying to manipulate, cheat, coax, cajole a future “having”… like riches, like fame and fortune, like slim body, like popularity, like forever bliss… is nearly impossible:

The future you need to invent hasn’t existed yet. It is yet unrecognizable to you.

why is it that the more things change the more they remain the same?If it is recognizable, then it isn’t a future: it is a rehashed past. Or borrowed. Not yours.

So you see it is hard. Not impossible, but seems impossible.

It comes from the 99%, the uncharted territory, the Wild West part of the pie chart, of all knowledge.

The art is to tease it out. And when you did: to trust it.

Without trust you’ll go back to your humdrum, 1% vocabulary of all things known. Of all things boring, tasteless cardboard packaged goods.


I once invented freedom to be as my future. Someone asked: what will that look like? I had a glimpse: me walking up the hill, the wind blowing my hair… that was when I still had hair…. No I wear a crew cut, lol.

Is that it? That is how it starts. With a glimpse.

Today I live that future. How long it has taken? About 20 years. Does it have to take that long? It depends.

Given the number of changes that were necessary, and given the time and effort it takes to make every damn change, it can take even longer.

Now, let’s look at my “future statement” closely. I bet you heard: freedom to do, i.e. liberty… Don’t lie, that is what you heard, right?

But I said “freedom to be”.

Freedom to be what? who? What the f… does that even mean?

If you are not having that question, you are already out of the game… I won’t take you on as a client. I have enough people who don’t think to ask that question… I need new people who do. weep weep weep, complain, moan, sniffle… lol

  • Freedom to be myself, silly.
  • Freedom to be all I can be.
  • Freedom to be magnificent when I want to be magnificent.
  • Freedom to be class clown and enjoy it.
  • Freedom to be a 5-year old, a dog wagging my tail with unabashed enthusiasm, freedom to be sick when I am sick.
  • Freedom to curse like a sailor (I do).
  • Freedom to be in awe with some of my students some of the time.
  • Freedom to be a student… not just a teacher.
  • Freedom to say: I have no idea.
  • Freedom to cry in public. Freedom to not have to fix my missing tooth
  • until I am good and ready, and completely be OK about people turning their eyes from my teeth… (I have a missing tooth right up in the front)
  • Freedom to moan when I walk.
  • Freedom to price my wares the way I think they should be priced.

Lots of freedom… All gained, little by little, in the 20 years.

None of it is liberty. Liberty is outer, freedom is inner.

I could have liberty, but no freedom. You can’t take slavishness out of people… meekness, dutifulness, eager trying to please…

They can do it for themselves by declaring freedom from trying to not look bad, trying not to lose, try not to be dominated, try to be right… freedom for self determination.

So you see, 20 years have taken me here… so don’t expect yourself to get there in a session.

But yet again, don’t forget what you invented.

new-new-reality-joy-adventureHere is an example: my BEST student’s example… and if he is the best you can imagine how the rest are:

In the What’s missing workshop we (mostly I, maybe that was the mischief) invented: Exuberant Joy.

You can see that the What’s missing workshop should be renamed “Inventing your future self” workshop, and I might do that… I’ll mull it over…

I am sure it would “sell” better. At present it’s a free workshop.

So my BEST student took that home, and rewrote it: “I declare to bring my best in every situation, only be in the now and be in response to life”

No poetry. No future. Just prefab… But more importantly it is all DOING, no BEING there.


Dutiful to the max. And meek. Trying to be good. ugh.

No Self.

Self is ALL Being… no doing there, no having there, just being.

new reality collageA number of years ago I did a collage… hm… It was called “New Reality” which is another way to say “future”.

  • My access to it were some sensations in my body. Being limber. Being tall. Smiling.
  • My second access to it was Oprah. I saw Oprah’s show one time EVER… I am not a TV person… but there was something about her beingness on camera I liked. It resonated with me.

There was an honest yearning but not desperate.

I no longer resonate with Oprah… she is still yearning for what I have accomplished: a freedom to be.

  • Her vibration, an indicator of your freedom to be, by the way, her vibration is 130. Her about-me number is 90%. So yeah… she would not be on my “new reality” collage, if I made on today… lol.
  • The higher your about-me number is, the more “evil” you have, desire to receive for the self alone

But back then, I think it was 2006, Oprah’s being on camera resonated with me.

As you get closer to being that “invented” self, the people you are in awe will seem to change.

I study marketing. Who my marketing gurus are has been changing periodically, and the ones I like have changed inside that, to be more likable, and more effective for themselves, more joyful for themselves, especially since I have adjusted their predatory genes… oops.

My current guru is a guy who is about as outrageous as you can be. He also writes horror/pulp novels, his marketing books have names like “Super Villains of Persuasion”, or another one I bought: Branding secrets of the angry prophet denouncing the hypocrisy of our times, The Brand Barbarian… with covers that don’t scream: money, marketing… but scream pulp fiction… lol.

Trust yourself when who your favorites are change… and pay attention. There is a shift in your being… either to the better or to the worse. If you don’t notice, you are not driving this life of yours!

Same is true for favorite authors, favorite shows, favorite teachers, etc.

Another tidbit here:

When you suddenly envy someone…

…consider that you envy their being… without ever having considered to be like them. 1

The student of mine who envies a friend of hers who suddenly is making a bundle by buying in China and selling in the United States? Some country where you can price up the merchandise 3-4-5-6 times… and the stuff will still sell.

But she wouldn’t want to do what she does… she already knows what she wants to DO. So what she envies is that friends results? What she has?

She should look and see… is it her beingness? Adventurous? You take risks when you buy in bulk, and hope to make money on reselling it… Fearless? Visionary? Interested? Observant? Those are all needed if you want to buy things that will sell… Unless you know what people like, what people will fork out money for… you’ll fail.

And, of course, unless you know how to sell, unless you trust yourself and the product, unless you are attractive (not looks!) enough that people can trust you, you won’t sell much.

And lastly, unless you are willing to invest the time, the energy that must be taken from something else… mundane stuff… you won’t put enough energy into anything… and of course it won’t succeed.

I really like Jim Rohn’s instructions to you: Spend more energy on building/improving yourself than you spend on your job…

What you are spending energy, time, money on will show you what is important to you: who you are today.

You are either creating a new reality, or you are not.

Most creates a reality with their unconscious being, and the resulting actions, creating a new reality that is a whole lot worse than what they are having today.

If you keep on being the same person, doing the same things, you’ll end up where you are heading… hell for most people.

For me that hell is called “homeless”.

I have tried that, several times, and it doesn’t support any creation: I, like a tree, need to set roots to create. I am an Earth sign… and you won’t ever change that. (Virgo).

And if I can’t create, I don’t want to live.

One of the foundations of my being is health, vitality, mobility.

Interestingly, that has been the last thing I attended to: I didn’t until it was almost late. Hey, I never said I was smart…

But when it was almost late, I had the tools to turn it around, and choose life. Living the new reality: freedom to be.

Now, if you don’t have a “new reality” of being for yourself, then you should come to one of my “what’s missing” workshops… “Creating a new reality” workshop… maybe. I am not sure. I am afraid it will give people a preconceived notion… that is counter productive.

The workshop is three hours long.

You need a headset, you need paper and pen, and you need to be hydrated… in good mental state.

And bring all of yourself to the call.

Come as many times as you can… Why? Because clarity often takes many turns to reach. Just like even water filters have many stages, at least two, first the debris needs to be filtered out, next the chemicals… Do you think you are a little more complex than water? I would hope so.

One of my students came to two of my recent workshops.

In the first one the invented future was: Being stupid… Why is that a good future? Because if you think you are smart, you won’t even look beyond what is obvious to you. And you are not curious. You fancy yourself an already cut diamond… ugh.

In the second workshop the invented future was: BEING like A BATTERY RECONDITIONED… TO GROW WHAT IT CAN GIVE

Why is that a good invented reality? Because you get in proportion to what you give. If you grow what you can give, you’ll grow what you can be compensated for, in love, money, freedom, health, Life.

Is she, was she able to become that? Even consider being that?

NO, she wouldn’t even consider… What is missing?

There are 160 spiritual capacities, and to invent a new reality that you can see, and start shaping yourself to fit, you need a few of those spiritual capacities active in your DNA tree.

  • She needs the capacity of TRUST. Trust self, trust life.
  • She needs the capacity to direct her attention away from what she wants, what she hates, what she likes, herself. Her current about-me score is 91%.
  • She needs the capacity to SEE… to see things different in her mind’s eye. She doesn’t have that capacity open… and isn’t even interested: yet.

So as you can see, each person has a mountain to climb, and needs tools, capacities, a vision, and a mountain… lol.

Most people have no mountain to climb.

In the What’s missing workshop we take a stab at creating the mountain to climb.

Once you have that, what’s missing will be obvious…

Depending on how deceptive, self-deceptive mostly, you have been, the first steps will be to look in the mirror that shows you who you have been. Other people, your results are that mirror… no the one in your bathroom.

Two of my female participants in the Playground are doing great work at that at the moment… and are going through the “ugh, ugly” with grace. I am very hopeful for them: If I had Oprah in the same program, she would refuse to face the ugly (there is a ton there! a megaton, in fact!) and therefore would never raise her vibration (as she hasn’t) and would never be able to invent AND climb her mountain of new reality.

I am. Life is asking a lot of you… Are you willing to give it?

If you don’t yet have it, adopt the beingness of “BEING like A BATTERY RECONDITIONED… TO GROW WHAT IT CAN GIVE”

The way you recondition a battery is to force it, gradually, to give more than it gave before.

Stingy, lazy, trying to preserve energy is the opposite of that.

When you are like a battery that is being reconditioned, you become someone who ALWAYS go for a second wind…

You give just a little more than you think you can. Effort, attention, love, spirit… whatever you got. First you give all you’ve got, and then give some more.

Compare that with “I bring my best in every situation” where your best diminishes a little with every situation… over time.

Bringing your best uses you up… and spits you out. You spend… and get a little less back than what you spent.

Being like a battery reconditioned gives you more every time you do something… because for the new reality you need tons of energy… or it won’t happen.

Darn… you say. Yeah… So what?

Are you a weakling? Are you a Milque Toast?

If you are, my programs are likely not for you.

Now what? lol

I am going to teach how to create a collage in workshops. You are only invited if you have successfully done at least one of my What’s Missing workshops. Otherwise you have no new reality to collage, do you?

  • So your first step is to make sure you are registered, and find a time that works for you.
  • The second step, maybe, is to see what would prevent you from being willing or able to see that if you continue doing what you have been doing, being who you have been being, you’ll end up in hell…

If you can’t see that, I can’t help you.

Depending on your Soul Correction, a different beingness is missing, a different “spiritual capacity”.

I can activate the missing capacity for you on the workshop, if I know you… and activate a capacity for you on the spot. It will cost you $25, although the workshop is free. Make sure you buy an undefined capacity: to be determined on the workshop.

Here is the button to buy…
At the moment I have only one workshop scheduled, this coming Saturday at 9 am NY time.

Here is the link to register in this and every future workshops in this series.

PS: If you are registered in the Inner Authority course, this is a prerequisite. So make sure you attend one of these workshops, and be told by me that you were successful.

How do I know? I am a true empath: I can see if you are embracing, if you are resonating with what was invented… No faking, no nice words, no gushing will change my view: You cannot lie to me.

One of my favorite TV shows was one I watched on Netflix: Medium. You could not lie to the main character: she knew. I know. And I have SELF-TRUST, the capacity, in spades. lol.

PPS: I posted an answer to a question on “Quora” a few years ago.

It will talk to you, and it will address one of the downfalls of this whole concept: New Reality. I define the beingness of the person who can go for a New Reality that doesn’t fix anything. All fixing is change… and the more things change the more they remain the same. So you don’t want a fix. But the beingness of creating is new, unfamiliar, and pretty unattainable to you without some spiritual capacities, some of those 160 that can be activated.

How do you get rid of a desire? You can only suppress a desire for so long. How can I search and destroy the root of the problem?

answered by Sophie Benshitta Maven Answered Dec 26, 2012 (a day after Christmas…)

To begin: the question shows that you have a desire to be desire-less… as far as “bad for you” desires go… very funny.

There are no desires that are good for you.

Desire, at the seed/root level says: I don’t have something that is important to me. I want it in some future.

Desire shows that you are living in a some-day future, and that you are miserable.

The pursuit of anything shows that you are miserable.

chasing the carrot on a stick future

But all pursuits are like the carrot on a stick attached to your head. Unattainable.

Maybe the goal is attainable, but the desire won’t go away, because the goal: although not expressed verbally, is not about the goal, it is about contentment, safety, joy, happiness… and none of those can come from the outside, all of those come from the inside… you’ll guess right, from looking at what is, without looking into any other paradigm, past or future, and seeing it for what it is, and do that from moment to moment.

There is never any lack in the present moment, in reality. Lack is a word of comparison. Lack means “isn’t”.

But, listen up, there is no explicit or implicit “no” in reality. Reality is all yes. If you look at the Manhattan skyline, unless you bring in comparison (i.e. the past) there is no missing Twin Towers. Reality doesn’t care, reality doesn’t know about past.

And when you look at your bank account, it is just a bunch of numbers. It is neither bad nor good. It is what it is. Numbers. And the next moment it will be, you guessed right, numbers.

There was never anything wrong with any number… unless you bring in the future and compare it with that.

Desire, is a not-now phenomenon entirely created by society, entirely created by mind.

Keeps you miserable, no matter what.

Even the desire to be desire-less is a desire leading to misery.

And suppressing actually increases the intensity of desire. the unconscious has nine times more influence on the quality of your life, on the actions you take, than the conscious.

Desire is bringing the future (or the past) into the present moment. You can bring awareness to it and it will allow you to be in the present moment, be happy, joyful, content, and abundant.

You just need to notice it. Soberly. Don’t make it wrong: it will go underground to wreak havoc.

I hope this is useful.

Yesterday I was training one of my students on a live call… let me know if you want the recording. As an empath I could track where her mind was, what feeling she had: it was like sparring… lol. Fun for me, tough for her.

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  1. (There are exceptions… you know who you are… Ms. Sultry)

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

7 thoughts on “Inventing a new you, a YOU you can become, A paradigm shift…”

  1. I have one picture in my mind’s eye that has been there for as long as I can remember. It resurfaced and I think this here is a good place to write it down, so I won’t lose it again.
    The back drop is a horse farm. I don’t necessarily own the farm or the horses, but I live there and take care of them. There is a one-room apartment with a wooden floor, a bed with a quilt, a small kitchen area with a tea kettle that’s always filled, a table and some mugs. It’s warm, rustic, simple and cozy.
    The door is always unlocked and people just randomly come in, drink tea, get a break, warm up and talk about horses (“Stormy and I had a great practice today!” “Blacky is getting lazy -do you think he needs more grain?” – stuff like that). When I’m not out with the horses I’m in there to give them tea, a smile, a listening ear or advice. It’s a place where people can recharge, find peace, get a break from daily troubles and just enjoy horses and friends. I’m happy and content.
    I never followed a path to get there, because it does not look “successful” for our society. I’d like to work on finding out what is the beingness here. I want to be that happy person in the one-room apartment at the barn.

  2. you see what you have to give up… don’t you? You saw it in your partner calls, and you see it everywhere… I have scheduled an additional What’s missing… next week, so you can explore it there

  3. Thank you! When is the workshop?
    My hunch is that wanting to win and wanting to look smart and successful are in my way.

  4. one more thing: notice how lazy and stingy you are behaving… instead of clicking on the link that takes you to registration, you ask me… In your world, your time is more valuable than mine.

  5. I’m sorry – I wanted to check the link first, but could only see the one for the capacity. I should have taken the time to look at the text again. Thank you for scheduling more workshops!

  6. apologizing is just another form of justifying… explaining… and not taking responsibility, Sandra.
    This is coaching, not insult, by the way… you know, but readers don’t.

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