I spent the past day studying, listening to several books, articles on how to cause ‘stuff’ and what struck me is that every approach, every method was valuable, except… Except they were fixed.
Once a human finds something that seems to be working, on a small scale, on themselves, for example, they get stuck… now they teach that, and don’t go beyond.
Whether it is about how to get rich, how to conquer fear, how the mind works, how to become the obvious expert, how to make marketing effective, etc… they stop probing deeper, and they teach what they had gotten.
I just listened to an essay on the fallacy of obviousness… on the theory that won the Nobel Prize in economics for Daniel Kahneman.
He says humans are blind, and that is largely true: you only pay attention to what you pay attention to: overall awareness is very low for most people, and if you have a question in mind, like you are looking for nails because you have a hammer in your hand, everything looks like a nail.
This blindness can have a different name, depending on what you are looking for… What is your question.
And this blindness is also depends on what a person is looking for… on what is the question.
In my work my job is to get to the root of human misery, so it can be eliminated. The misery that keeps people, keeps you stuck…
Stuck in misery.
It’s been taking me three decades to get to this article. Three decades of constant studying, and experimenting, and coaching.
Here is what I have found. Is this the bottom line? Is this the famous ’cause’?
It might be, says Source. So here it goes:
It’s like a net… like a fishing net. You could also call it a filter.
A question asked activates it, and the answer get caught up in the net.
This is why the phenomenon, reticular activation works.
So if you have a hammer in your hand… everything that looks like a nail will show up for you, and everything that doesn’t, will not show up.
Show up means: you’ll see it, hear it, feel it, it will be present FOR you.
Last night I was not feeling well. I could not sleep… it seems my brain could not afford to let me sleep… Upon looking, the question that activated this net was: am I going to throw up?
Life is life, and yours truly is a human, just like you, with a body that responds to mistakes, just like yours.
I finally got up, and listened to another two books on youtube… and finally got back to bed, 3:30… tired, and I could not fall asleep, again, until I changed the question.
Instead of sticking with the one question that kept me up, I asked: ‘Can I relax and fall asleep?’
And the next thing I know it was late morning.
When we say ‘change your mind’ what accomplishes it is changing the question and thus changing the focus of the reticular activation from the old question to the new one.
How is this in my work of eliminating misery?
I had the first real and lasting breakthrough in my work on myself came with a distinction called ‘wondering about’.
Here is how it works: you are a baby, and you have the circumstances, the parents, the caretaker, the dog, the cat, the siblings, and something happens.
- You are hungry, you cry, and someone frowns at you.
- You are hungry, you cry, and someone just leaves you there.
- You are hungry, you cry, and someone rudely picks you up, and shakes you.
- You have a nappy full of stuff… so you cry.
- Your caretaker comes and makes a funny face smelling your stuff.
- Your caretaker leaves you in the crib… and you don’t get taken care of.
Simple scenarios, but they are all the starting point of this period called ‘wondering about’.
What happens to you happens to everyone. Everyone wonders about what it means that you are not taken care of or that the caretaker frowns.
The difference between people is what conclusion they will come up with at the end of the wondering about period.
The period can be short, or long.
The conclusion comes at another incident… years later.
- Here is an example: a Finish What You Start soul correction person always decides at the later incident, that they are not OK… for the people who matter to them. The people whose job is to take care of them.
- For the Removing Hatred soul correction person the decision is that they don’t get attention. they don’t get taken care of. Why? They don’t know. They never really stop wondering about what’s wrong with them that makes others not give them the attention they want, not take care of them.
This second part is true for a lot of soul corrections: keeping on wondering what’s wrong with them.
You can see where this leads. That is the question, and they are on the hunt to find out.
How much time do they have to produce, to have fun, to accomplish, for the good life? Not much.
- I am Forget Thyself soul correction. My question and decision was: I am not loved, I should be dead. Death is there just around the next moment.
The question you were or are wondering about creates a small box in which you’ll live your life, unless by some intervention you change the question, and keep the new question alive.
In my case, my new question is, instead of ‘do you love me?’ is ‘what am I up to” what can I do for humanity? my customer? my friend?’ that recalibrate my reticular activation system, and whether anyone loves me, likes me, approves of me, doesn’t matter to me.
Getting the ‘wondering about’ question correctly is crucial… and it’s not easy. There seem to be many questions, but only one main question…
Once you get what is the question that you were wondering about, and what decision you have come to, comes another phase: what wrong that was never wrong are you trying to fix?
- You didn’t matter, what was important didn’t matter, what you wanted didn’t matter?
- You couldn’t do what you wanted to do… and therefore you wonder if you are a substandard specimen of humanity?
Even though the ‘organ’ or ‘mechanism’ through which we got ourselves stuck, the unstucking method is largely different, but it is always similar in that the question needs to be changed.
Can you do it alone? This process…
In my experience: no. Even students who insist to do it alone: don’t succeed.
But you can try… be my guest.
Even when sitting in the audience of a workshop type course, 99% of the people there don’t get the results, because no matter where you are sitting, unless someone holds the dirt for you, you cannot get to the gold digging.
When you dig for gold, you cannot go deep, if you can’t get rid of the dirt you have removed… and you will never get to the gold… Gold here is the truth, the clear view of the machinery you set up to run your life.
You can’t change the machine. You can’t get rid of the machine. But you can manage yourself so the machine doesn’t engage and doesn’t completely drive your life to the ground.
Landmark Education, by the way, calls this phenomena ‘already always listening’ or in a different context, the ‘unanswerable question’.
Either way, I haven’t found their technology effective in altering behavior, altering focus, altering lives… tried hard as I did…
Let’s see if this theory and method works better, let’s see if people can embrace it and move to alive they can love and a life they live powerfully.
I am going to add this new method, as a new video, to the 53 invisibles, and increase the program’s value by doubling it… I feel.
learn more about the 53 invisibles