The best way out is always through. ~ Robert Frost

I love Hungarian poetry. I hate English language poetry because, to me, they are either too vague, or don’t mean anything… No offense meant, by the way. It’s probably a weakness in me…

Now, the line from a poem, in context, is complaining that he cannot see his way through

He says the best way out is always through.
And I agree to that, or in so far
As that I can see no way out but through—
Leastways for me

I recognize this sentiment because a lot of my students have it. I had it, maybe, a few times for maybe hours at a time… when I was looking for a way OUT, instead of looking for a way through.

Looking for a way out is, in other words, either escape or fixing.

The most visited pages of my site are

The first two are, to me, clear signs that the person who clicks wants a way out, not a way through.

The way out, even if it is available, is rarely effective. The example of million dollar lottery winners is widely known. Winning a bunch of money, inheriting, are all ways out… but not really.

Most people who win or inherit are not able to hold onto or grow what they got, they squander it instead.

The way through, with money, is becoming the person with the skills and the attitude to earn it. It is the same with love, with health, with happiness… don’t be deluded. But in this Covid infected world people simply look at the more alarming aspects of life: money and health…

And yet, people time and again, look for a way out. Looking for a ‘make a million bucks in a week’, ‘get thin/get well taking this pill’ type of ‘solution’ to their problems.

The issue, inside the limited view that I can see, is that they don’t want to invest attention, energy, pain, and effort into the ‘going through’ path.

This is nearly every single person on the planet, by the way. 99% certain that it is you too.

In the Starting Point Measurements the measures that most express this are the Ambition/Desire numbers, and the TLB. TLB stands for Twitchy Little Bastard score. The expressions’s origin is probably Theodore Dreiser’s novel, Sister Carrie, but I personally learned it from one of my teachers, Roy H. Williams.

It is synonymous with Marshmallow Eater, the kid who could not wait 15 minutes to eat his marshmallow, and thus losing out on getting another one in the famous Marshmallow Experiment.

In my view you need two things to stay in the game, aka go through what you need to go through.

1. An ability to value a future that is possible by you staying in the game, doing what you need to do. In the marshmallow experiment: look anywhere other than at the marshmallow… and wait.

Interestingly, the ‘spiritual’ DNA capacity of being able to tell relevant and irrelevant apart, is what is missing here if you are not able to hold off eating the freaking marshmallow for 10-15 minutes, for a prize of doubling it.

Here is an example: you are having a conversation. The other person doesn’t agree with you. You flare up, attack, yell, get mad, get sulky, get depressed, resist, etc.

These are all signs that you are a Marshmallow Eater, a Twitchy Little Bastard. And unless you can see what is relevant, you will never amount to much.

2. You need two ‘stories’, a vision and a horror story…

What do I mean?

You need to be able to see the cost of being a TLB, or never amounting to much — on the horror story end, and create a vision of yourself on the vision side.

Why do I say ‘a vision of yourself’ and don’t say ‘a vision for your life’?

Because what you get in life comes from who you are, and not the other way around.

It is hard to see on others, and maybe even harder to see it on yourself.

When you look at yourself, you don’t seem to see your beingness, you feel instead. And feelings are ‘colored’ by words, words you say in your head, consciously or unconsciously, words that create your beingness as well… cowardly, selfish, timid, hasty, lazy, entitled, haughty, etc.

In my programs we pay more attention to the horror story side of things… mainly because your Twitchy Little Bastard has a tendency to want to even shortcut to a preferred beingness.

  • I am going to be a value recognizer
  • I am going to be a diligent working bee

Honestly, these are ways out, not a way through.

They are actions that you hope will take you out of having to go through what you need to go through to become the kind of person who can do what you really want to be able to do.

When I invented my life’s purpose by inverting the biggest complaint I had about my life, that it was like a roller coaster, always on the edge, never getting any rest, I, unknowingly, invented a way of being for myself, a new Self.

You see, my life was like a roller coaster…

…because I was also looking for ways out instead of going through. I wanted it easy, fast, and I was jerky… Twitchy Little Bastard. Reactive.

But once I invented that the purpose of my life is to go to the edge and come back with something to teach, the whole context changed, and I gave all my attention to what was visible on the edge… instead of running from it. This was 29 years ago.

The process went like this: Look and examine what is the biggest complaint in your life. Turn it around and make it your life’s purpose…

Next Wednesday, we’ll have this as the theme on my Talk to me webinar, if enough people are interested.

But warning: if your biggest complaint is not relevant to your life… then you won’t be able to make from it a life-purpose.

If you haven’t, ask me to activate the DNA capacity of being able to tell if something is relevant or not. Between you and me, sounds like a hyperbole, but it’s true: your life depends on it. Not your survival, but the quality of your life.

You care about that, don’t you?

Go to step 2

PS: If you are in the hole…,

…and don’t see any way to go through, here is an online program I recommend. Most things I have reviewed for you, this is the only program that has a high truth value, 60%.

The video is fine, not hyped, and the opportunity is real.

I didn’t buy it… so I don’t know about the ‘upsells’ so I don’t recommend those.


Go check it out! I feel it will work for you.
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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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